Hi I'm new
Not sure where to post this. A little back ground. I have 2 bio kids (17,and 16) from a previous marriage and 3 stepsons (14,13, and 10). We have been married for almost 7 years, I let dh handle everything to do with bm. Dealing with the BM is very bad she is very uncooperative (sp). I know it will be a long story so if you don't mind I'll start with the issue at hand. I can give back ground as we go. 
Ok to start this is JUST the latest thing, first I should mention that sh and bm agreed long ago that dm's aunt would buy the step kids a car when the time comes. Aunt really wanted to do this as her gift to the boys. Aunt already bought the oldest ss a truck.
I bought both my kids a car for their 16th bdays thinking steps kids are taken care of and I don;t know what dh is planning for their 16th bdays b/c the time hasn't come yet so we haven't completely talked about it. Well lets just say bm went nuts saying we HAVE to buy the boys a car and is throwing a fit about it. What is it any of her business anyway? Now as a side note here I bought the cars not my dh b/c he didn't want the boys to feel like he bought his step kids a car and not them (which I understand)even though their aunt is buying them one and they have known this for a while.
My main question is how am I in the wrong? All 5 kids will be getting a car. My 2 don;t have an aunt that wants to do that for them and I have always wanted to buy them their first car, nothing fancy but dependable. Now IF the boys weren't already getting a car from aunt of course we would pay for half and bm would be expected to pay the other half. Another side note here is that my kids's dad is NOT in the pic. never has been and never will be. they haven;t seen him since ds was 6 mons.
So am I really that far off base here? Thanks.
Is she saying that the AUNT
Is she saying that the AUNT shouldn't buy the kids cars and you guys should? If so, tell her to tell the boys' aunt that she doesn't want her buying them cars, and then let her know that she would have to pay for half of the payment of the car of her children, actually, let her know that she will pay in full, as your husband had already planned that the aunt was going to buy them!!!
At the end of the day, do not worry about what she thinks or says, HONESTLY, you rule your house however you want to, and she has no business telling you and your husband what to do with your money. If possible, let her know that her opinion on what to do with finances and what to buy to the kids should be kept to herslef, or will be higly ignored. She is NO ONE to say that you should pay for the cars.
Really I don't know what she
Really I don't know what she is saying b/c she just texted saying "now you have to buy the boys a car" and that was it. :?
Thanks for replying. Anyway my story is a long one and I'm sure back ground is going to start coming out little by little. Anyway dh talked to bm today b/c we are planing to go on vacation in a couple of weeks and of course the boys will no question about that. But a few loose ends needed to be tied up like oldest ss football and the 4th of July. Anyway she NEVER talked about the cars. :? But she DID let dh have the boys for the 4th of July really, really weird? Normally when she knows we are going on a trip she does whatever she can to make sure the boys can't go or she can mess it up as much as she can.
Dealing with this bm has been very hard to do b/c she has tried to get my ds arrested several times and she even tried to say that ds was messing with the youngest ss which was proven to not be the case at all.
On top of all that dh and I separate our money b/c she would always call and ask for more money to the point that sh was giving her money that we could and none left for bills. I separated it to just show him how much he was really giving her and it did work. He now likes it that was to remind him that he can't give more money. It was really worked for us b/c I can spend my money on the things that we need and he can spend money on what the boys need while here. I know that some may not like this way but it works. I have been accused of making it about his vs mine but I assure you that is not the case. Bm is the one that made the division not me. It is so sad but the boys have this attitude that they are better and Superior that us. Of course that came from bm. So am I off base with that one too? the money that is. We dh and I tend to buy for our own kids more than we do for the others kids, mainly b/c we keep money separate now. Is that wrong too? thanks for listening.
Well now ss14 is upset b/c he
Well now ss14 is upset b/c he says dh HAS to buy him a car. umm hello you already have a truck!! Ok the truck does run and I know he 14 but his aunt lets him drive it at her house. Nothing wrong with this truck. I guess I don't get it WHY is this such an issue???? :?
Yep same here my bm pumps
Yep same here my bm pumps them for info on both my kids and she doesn't let them go till they tell her something that she wants to hear and most of the time is not true. She will call EVERY time we drop them off about an hour or so later and say purpledaisies kids did that and this and they need to be punished. One time she said she wasn't getting off the phone till she KNEW what I was going to do to my kids!! umm WHAT?? :jawdrop: Dh told her he would do it for her and hung up. LOL
I really think she does think that the boys are getting screwed but how I don;t know as they get 2 of everything (christmas, bdays and such) so again HOW are they getting screwed? Side note my kids don't see their dad and haven't since dds was 6 months. So no my kids don't get 2 of anything.
I know we are not crazy people and that line reminds me of dh as that is what he says to me all the time. We are sane and she is not. Sane people do do the things she does. LOL makes me laugh. Like one time when she saw mu dd prom pic on facebook (she is friends with ss's) and she called dh to tell dh how beautiful dd is and she wanted to see a pic of her dad as she looks nothing like her mom. Umm what? My dd is a spiting image of me, I get all the time when I am in a store or somewhere where teens work in my town (small town) and say aren't dd's mom she looks just like you. SOOO I all I could do was laugh I mean really what was that all about?
Welcome to the community. I
Welcome to the community. I hope you find it a good place to vent, contribute and get some useful advice from others navigating the difficult journey of blended family life.
I see no issue with this situation at all. BM is just being a snarky asshole.
BM is obviously stupid and you can't fix stupid.
IMHO of course.
Best regards.