Hope this is ok to post here, but I have no motherly feelings towards my stepchild
:? I'm 26 years old female and I can't stand kids nor do I want any. I have always been like this even as a child I never wanted to play with dolls or play house or anything like that. I just recently got married to a man that is 16 years older then me and has 2 kids one that is 18 (who we don't see very often, but does call and text me which i don't mind) and a 13 year old who is here every other weekend and has now started coming over weekly. He is a very sweet kid, but at the age he is at you would think he would be content sitting around playing games or the computer going outside anything. As soon as i get home from work and need my cool down period he is right up my ***, if me and his dad go outside to smoke he follows us outside. I cant even talk to my husband about things that we need to talk about that are adult related (money, bills, etc) because he just stays clinged to us. I feel horrible saying that, but I really do feel like im going crazy with stress cause I feel like my life is being invaded. No one understands how I feel and if i tell them they just say that it takes time to get us to and to learn to deal with it. The thing is since i dont like children and or want them its very hard for me, i don't mind the weekends cause i know its only a short time and i can always find something to keep myself busy but its getting worse. I cant even go outside to smoke by myself cause he follows me outside, I don't know if i really do sound horrible or if there is anyone else out there that feels like this.
I'm confused why you would
I'm confused why you would marry a man with children if you don't like them? You had to know what his visitation schedule was and that you would be in contact with (at least) the younger son. I wonder if your frustration with his presence is obvious to him? It sounds to me like this poor kid is just dying to spend time with you and his dad. Sad.
Well the kids are here for
Well the kids are here for life and one day before you know it these kids are going to have kids. What will you do then, because I can guarantee your husband will fall in love with and adore his grandchildren. You will have babies and toddlers running around the house. This is family. You need to look ahead at what your life may very soon become, and if its not for you. Be honest with your husband. You two may not be made for each other. But there are plenty of men who would kill for a woman like you.
As for the 13 year old coming outside while one or both of you smoke. Not on. You can safely put a stop to that for health reasons. He should not be inhaling second hand smoke. Here in Australia you are not even allowed to smoke in the car if there are children on board. So for the boys sake, don't let him come outside while one or both of you smoke.
I do understand what you
I do understand what you mean. You love your husband. You know that he has children that he loves. But don't let anyone make you feel bad because these children to you are just a wayward sperm and egg that collided.
There is no reason that you should have motherly feelings toward crotch droppings that you are not the mother of. You do need to accept that these children are important to your DH but don't feel bad because you don't care about them.
Thank you for being at least
Thank you for being at least one person here who understands!!! Also my husband when i met him his children didnt even live in the same state, so never had to see them there was no need to ever worry and then they moved back, so it was a huge adjustment.
When I first met dh, ss16 was
When I first met dh, ss16 was 12. He hung around us all the time too and at times I nearly went bonkers, and I have 3 kids of my own. So no worries about feeling guilty. I like BLM's suggestion os setting boundaries, it'll give you time to be alone and also help him learn to be on his own. This learning to be alone is important for kids to know how to do, especially with work schedules etc. Before you know it, he won't want anything to do with you or dh and it'll be all about his friends! That usually happens at about 14 or 15 yrs old!
Hey lady, dont listen to them
Hey lady, dont listen to them I hate hate hate kids and im with a girl with 3. The second I get home they are outside my car wsw aiting. Follow me to my detached garage which is "my" area. They intrude constantly. Up my ass 24_7. They always are fighting and messing my stuff up. Im over it, I hate the bastards especially the 15 year old sack of shit. Im not a mean person but im livid right now. They control and dominate my life and im 33 they are sucking the life out of me. Fml
WOW, you need to move. With
:jawdrop: WOW, you need to move. With that attitude, no one is going to be happy and damage is being done!
I'm 25 and while my feelings
I'm 25 and while my feelings towards having kids has changed since my niece was born, I completely understand having a young boy up your ass ALL OF THE TIME. I call this kid Radar because he can hear ANYTHING when it's not supposed to pertain to him. I've been around for awhile and now that we have full custody (because BM likes beating kids and got them taken by the state), I have to deal with it. Since I have to deal with it, I've taken a whole new approach toward what I do and do not tolerate. I let my fiance know behind closed doors that things were going to change if it was going to work with us. I need my time away, and when he gets on my nerves too much, there should not be ANY problem with me going out and doing something to ease my stress. Yes, I know, you'd probably enjoy the comforts of your own home to ease your stress but that won't always be an option.
I've also just started letting SS10 know if something is not his business. Then I tell him to go into the other room.
If you're afraid that your DH won't back you up when you tell SS to go away for awhile, then you've got bigger problems.
Hey lady, dont listen to them
Hey lady, dont listen to them I hate hate hate kids and im with a girl with 3. The second I get home they are outside my car wsw aiting. Follow me to my detached garage which is "my" area. They intrude constantly. Up my ass 24_7. They always are fighting and messing my stuff up. Im over it, I hate the bastards especially the 15 year old sack of shit. Im not a mean person but im livid right now. They control and dominate my life and im 33 they are sucking the life out of me. Fml
I can see where you are
I can see where you are coming from only it did sound rather harsh that you "can't stand kids nor want any". Right there makes it sound like the Skid is chopped liver.