How to handle my stepsons mom?
I have been married for a little over 2 years now, I have 2 beautiful babies with my husband. Since my wedding his ex girlfriend of 3 weeks has been harrassing my husband and I saying she had gis son, then it was back and forth "hes not yours/ he is/ I want you in his life/ we dont need you" my husband and I were dual military living in germany so it was extremely difficult dealing with it. We moved back to the states last december and filed for a dna test. I just found out last thursday that my husband is the little boys father, so now I have a 2 and a half year old step son. I freaked of course but told my husband whatever his decisions are I will support him. He decided he wants to be in his sons life, so he was granted joint custody. Which os difficult because we live 18 hours away. Well I finally came to my senses and im excwpting this, however his ex is not. Ahe wants my husband to come visit them and bot bring his son to visit our family because she doeant want me around. She says my husband is a bipolar dead beat sperm donor because for 2 years he wasnt there, how could he be if he didnt know if this kid was his? She blames me for her sons loss of a father and her loss of a husband. But they broke up 10 months before we even met. She says ill never see him or be in his life. But thats not her deciaion is it? Do stepmothers have rights I want my kuda to grow up knowing their brother and I want my husband to have no issues being there for his son and I want to have a family. What can I do to deal with her, we've been fighting for over 2 years now about how I ruined her life and im a b****. Icant handle her and its tearing my family apart.
Agree with Riply and Echo.
Agree with Riply and Echo. It's very difficult in your situation because typically you would be around when you first began dating not when you were a well established dating couple but it's new for everyone and probably will work best if you allow DH and crazy BM to adjust prior to your envolvement. This would probably be most beneficial to your mental state as well. Just think of it as allowing him to get to know his son with some one and one time and keeping the stress of BM away from you.
One DH has his own relationship with SS then you can start to build that family dynamic you want regardless of what BM says. And...No, Steps have no rights at all...except of course as I was advice by the school this week, the right to be a walking bank account. Not allowed to act as a parent would at the school (no signing forms, picking up, volunteering, etc) but my income is included when factoring fees, lunches, books, tuition, etc....