I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO...I AM OVER IT
}:)
I am sick and tired of the disrespect and the blatant defiance. I have two step children that have been with us for two years.
Long of the short...they came down due to an abusive situation with their mom. Ok, for two years, I have treated them like my own. I fully and willingly took on the responsibility as their caretaker. EPIC fail...
They do not listen to anything I say, they do not take my advice, they do not follow the house rules, they do the complete opposite of what is expected of them. We have had NUMEROUS conversations about this and to no avail.
I want to take a backseat and focus on my son, who is 2.
This is hard for me bc I love my husband dearly and he is right there with me and I express myself to him and I tell him what is going on all the time. He sees it, he corrects them...and it still happens again. He too is tired of their BS. Deep inside I feel like they are his kids....and he can deal with it. I am not happy in my own house, I do not want to be home bc I know their is always something that I will have to correct them on.
I am just tired...and unhappy....and this is making me physically, emotionally, and mentally unstable.
Can you get away for a
Can you get away for a weekend to decompress and recharge? You can let your DH handle all of it. How old are the kids?
I want to, but cannot afford
I want to, but cannot afford to. They are almost 11 and 14.
Not to get off topic on
Not to get off topic on someone else's post but I see so many times people on ST suggest leaving the home, going on vacation, girls weekends, etc., as a means to escape step life. I often laugh when I read leaving as a suggestion to issues with step life because not everyone has the money to just take off to a hotel and have their toes done every other weekend. I have the money but why the hell should I waste my money because his kids are acting like fools?? I also have a limited amount of money to take off yearly so why would I waste my trip money being alone instead of taking the time with my SO.
It is my house, I'm not leaving and I won't be forced to live in a bedroom to avoid face time with some teenage jerk either. Sometimes the "just leave" suggestion is not really a viable option for some people.
I do agree with you!
I do agree with you!
Getting away can mean
Getting away can mean spending the night at your parent's or friend's house. I understand financial restraints, trust me. OP sounds at the end of her rope. Sometimes a change in environment does wonders for some people, even for a short period of time, including me. I would never suggest hiding in the bedroom or closet.
Robin333 my off handed
Robin333 my off handed thought wasn't directed at you, sorry if it came off that way
I guess I don't think about going to a family members house because, well, in my case my family lives out of state and I think I'd rather be in step hell than hang all weekend with my family. HA!
No, I didn't take it
No, I didn't take it personally. Just explaining what getting away means to me. I get irritated easily when I don't get my "me time". Sometimes, just going to an empty parking lot or park helps. Too bad about your family. When my DD was younger, I would drive hours, leave her at my mom's and spend the night on the sofa at my sister's and drive back the following day. I can't imagine not having that support.
The good news is school
The good news is school starts soon YAY they won't be there during the day. Maybe try to get them in a lot of activities.
The not so good news....I AM
The not so good news....I AM A TEACHER AND I'VE BEEN HOME ALL SUMMER. We have tried the activities and they are not interested in much.
They have NOTHING fun We do
They have NOTHING fun
We do not allow them to have things if they do not earn it. I have their phones. He tries and he does a great job, he just says, "they do not listen to me either, it is not just you". Which is not helpful at all. It is just a little easier for him to overlook certain things. I am doing so much as a mother. He does not see half of what I see. I am just in a place...
I love that jasper! Too bad
I love that jasper! Too bad the majority of DHs just can't be bothered and it's just easier to throw us step mums under the bus....idiots!
Sounds like your DH doesn't
Sounds like your DH doesn't actually want to put in the effort to parent his own kids. No actual parent would tolerate that crap from a bunch of children.
They ARE his kids, HE can
They ARE his kids, HE can deal with it. His little 3 minutes of happiness has long term consequences! A teen and pre teen, he's tired of it already?! The fun is just starting. Oh and then there's a 2 year old, he's got at least 16 more years of this. My own kids drive me crazy. I'm with above who said get them in activities. My boys have a choice, "chore b*tch," after school job or structured activities that keep them away from the home and give me sanity. They all have chosen activities. They come back from those activities worn out Hallelujah!
My DH does very little parenting/disciplining to my kids (his steps). When needed he'll stand behind me and say, "You heard what your mother said." Lay them at DH's feet and let him deal with them. Start researching now for spring break camps, summer and holiday camps. They don't wanna go..WAH! Give them a choice of camp or working for the crotchety elderly neighbor down the street.
If it's any consolation, I
If it's any consolation, I have (had?) great kids and at 12(girl) and 14(boy) I am about at the end of my rope. They are hormonal and I am peri-menopausal and it's like they NEVER FREAKING LISTEN! I mean, the only reason they are still alive is because there are those moments of sanity where they are actually pleasant.
It's hard when they aren't your kids. It really isn't your responsibility. When my kids were younger I had an SD from 6-14 and she was a weirdo. So I always tell myself, "it could be worse." Imagine your "could be worse" and see that whenever you want to run away!
(And every once and a while, DO run away, even if it's just a few hours. It makes a huge difference).
What has your DH done to help
What has your DH done to help this situation out? Have the kids been in counselling due to their abusive mother?