I hate to be negative- things are gettting worse
Hmmm.Where does one start?
If I express my feelings then I am bitching.
If I shut my mouth and play pretend then I could have a good life with him....sound appealing?
The reality- 2people- 4 kids.
OK why did I write anything?
I told him last night it was over.
On Valentines.
WOW.
The past week I have struggled.
I complained to him that he never helps me with things with my kids but does the daily things his son needs- he told me I bitch about nothing.
I suggested that when we come home if he could have a quick shower one night of the week instead of hopping in the bath with his son (he is 2.5) taking 30 - 40 minutes and if he could help me with dinner after the shower and bathe his son later that would help me cause I am feeling overwhelmed. He told me all I want is things my way and he is not going to make more work for himself to help me because it will be more work to bathe his son at night after dinner. He said "I am not going to put an extra 30 minutes on my night to save you 5" Whatever. In his mind, I want things my way.
All I wanted was some help with dinner.
Since moving in I seem to be suzy fuckin home maker and he is Mr. Fix it. I am not saying that he never puts the dishes away, but my workload had increased in this new house and I am overwhelmed and tired a lot. But if I say something I am just complaining and bitching.
So back to last night.
We drop of Step kids. Bio mom has a ring, she is engaged. (I do not have one...I start to get upset and cry). MOstly cause we have had a lot of stress since moving in, I feel bad about my own struggles, and I hate conflict.
I feel triggered, wonder about myself and then shake it off. Him and I talk and we go out for dinner.
We have to drive 3 hours to drop off the kids. Then 3 hours back. He has had limited sleep this week, is not feeling the best he tries to get some rest, I drive.
We get home around 11:30 and we lay down.
I ask if we are going to be intimate, he says "no" he is not feeling well.
Are you disappointed he asks, I reply yes.
I get up to take my birth control ( I forgot to earlier) and get back to bed and he is turned the other way. He is tired, I am tired, but I feel rejected. I ask him why he is not atleast holding me. He is tired and barley reponds.
I am started to get upset. I have to finish later
This doesn't sound very
This doesn't sound very good...
Say what you really "need" to say on this site. That's what it is for.
(no worries, vent away.)
Good Luck,
I've been pretending and its
I've been pretending and its about to blow up. You can't pretend your life away.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Hey Jellybean, Sometimes it
Hey Jellybean,
Sometimes it is that way: we stand up for ourselves and we're, you know, the b word. When we stay quiet, it is convenient for them. However, not expressing how you feel is unhealthy, and I definitely think you should try having a conversation with him about how you feel about the household work and about getting married. I definitely think you should wait, though, before actually getting married to him and see how it goes in this new home for you. As for the sex thing, I get it too, but I imagine that 3 hours drive both way just to take skids home would tire anyone out. I know that after 30 minutes on the road, I turn into a screaming raging maniac (then again, I'm in NYC, where traffic is terrible).
I get it, though. I think women are programmed to want the damn ring, I know I want it just to have one. But let me hear the rest of the story before I continue on....
here here geez that sounded
here here
geez that sounded like me! as long as i just did the housework, cooking cleaning & go out to work my buttt off also he was happy! soon as i complain thats it i am uptight, jealous, blah blah blah....
a weeek before we broke up he was not well. he came home from, golf whilst i had to work half a day, came home let him rest on teh couch, whilst i did all the wshing(kids school clothes& his work clothes-2loads) cleaned up after him in the kitchen(everyday he leaves crumbs & mess)prepared dinner!
my legs dropopped off end of that day i was exhausted!
next morning he takes 9y.o.son abit of fishing & i planned to take out 11y.o.SD out to a playground, whilst iam stil in bed he says Can you do the vacuuming?! oh my god i almost popped an artery! What i said? i worked yesterday all day out & in house are you kidding me?
oops that's ok i'll get SD (his 11y.o.)to do it!
LAzy son of a $^%*&(&(*)
whilst he goes to a cushy job during the week, golf saturdays & fishing next day the girls have to do all the work!
Thank god It's Over!!!!
I will not be a doormat again!Or clean up after a disrespectful slob!
good luck to you Jellybean your situation is crap, Stand up to yourself! You are not a slave or housekeeper! Ask for money from him if that is how he treats you!?
Get him to help before dinnertime! Then do what you want after dinner tell him!
i believe in karma
i believe in karma truelly!
I was too good to my DH & his kids/family! I was lucky though, most times during the week DH would cook as i got home late,so i would clean up, but on weekends i would try to do something!
he was messy,untidy and would walk past margerine droppings on the kitchen bench without wiping it up???aghhh mind you it was him making that mess & leave it!