I LOVE that SD doesn't really come very much anymore BUT
Last night DH was going to go get SD for dinner since he is CO to get her on Thursday nights, spend MAYBE an hour with her (just him and her, and I ALWAYS support him seeing her).
But, as usual, BM planned for Gammy (grandma) to come DURING DH's time, do something to her prom dress. Now mind you "Gammy" is retired, prom isn't for another week or 2... But, to BM DH's time is when anything and everything should occur, altering prom dresses, taking pictures, visiting cousins, getting hair done, making nonsense appointments, getting ears peirced, going to a friends, etc etc....
BM ALWAYS does this, and ESPECIALLY as of these days, DH just lets it happen... because if not, then BM and SD get pissed and tell DH that he is detrimental to SD's mental/emotional health...
PERSONALLY I would much rather just pretend SD didn't exsist, but I HATE seeing how DH gets excited to spend time with SD and then he gets all mopey when plans change, ESPECIALY last minute (literally less than an hour before he was going to leave to pick her up)
If it is CO, then DH needs to
If it is CO, then DH needs to assert his right to see his child.
While I agree that he should,
While I agree that he should, he won't. He will not risk being told by both BM and SD that he's being detrimental to her mental/emotional health. Even though WE are the ones trying to push BM to take her to a psychiatrist (3 years ago BM supposedly agreed and SUPPOSEDLY put her on a wait list... she still hasn't seen ANYONE.
But DH gets extremely depressed every time BM and SD abuse him of being detrimental to her emotional health...
DH won't take BM to court, DH won't get police involved because sd is 100% on BM's side, if BM made plans, SD does NOT want to come... if police are involved SD will be drug out kicking and screaming, and at that point DH doesn't want her here.
No paternal balls, no visitation with his kid.
Pretty simple.
Very similar things happen to
Very similar things happen to my DH. BM always tries to plan some competing thing on DHs time. Of course she always made it SD's choice to not see DH so she had plausible deniability. I think the cruelest thing about it was that she would plan something really fun on DHs time and then make SD call and tell DH that she didn't want to see him, oftentimes in tears because she knew she was going to hurt her dad's feelings. How messed up is that?
Bur as steppedonnomore said, if your DH has a CO but never bothers to enforce it or follow it then he really doesn't have any right to complain. I think a lot of divorce dads are lazy when it comes to custody and they want BM or the new SM to do all the work. If neither one makes it super easy and convenient for them to see their kid they won't go out of their way to make it happen themselves. It's much easier to complain about BM than to actually do something make sure they see their kid.
Difference between my sd and
Difference between my sd and yours is my sd couldn't care less about how ANYTHING she does/says/ wants, makes anyone feel. The more people (except her mom) that she can throw under the bus, the better
No no no..
If it's a CO then it happens. If it were the other way around I'm Sure BM would be sure to cry to the court...take a stand