I'm f*&ken over it
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SS15 came home and didn't even acknowledge me. When I bought it up with him he said I was busy. I told him that was a bull shit excuse.
We then went into all sorts of sutff.
Turns out he slammed the door the other morning to wake me up because I was stomping around the house the night before.
At least he has now admitted that he is doing things to piss me off.
We had a big argument and there was no conclusion as both Ss and DH walked off.
So I guess that means its going to get worse.
i have no idea what to do...... DH asked what I want and I couldn't answer the question.
If he's actively doing things
If he's actively doing things to fuck me off what am I meant to do.....????
I asked skid why he does
I asked skid why he does things to fuck me off and he said its revenge.....
revenge for me drying my hair??
I told him that that evening I was watching something on TV and I wanted to watch the end but I thought "I better go and dry my hair as its SS's bed time"..... so I missed the end of the program I wanted to watch for him and then he feels it's necessary to get revenge......
I asked him if he wants to play that game as I am a shift worker and sometimes I get home at 3am..... it would be my pleasure to turn on his bedroom lights and turn the louf vaccum cleaner....
DH just stayed out of it. He just said "it makes me sad that the two people I love most in this world dont like each other".
I am resentful as SS lived with us until last december. He decided he didnt want to be part of the family so went to live with his mother. his mother is so sueless she couldnt make him go to school... so now he is back with us.
- I resent BM for being a shit mother and not even able to get her son to go to school
- I resent SS for making the decision to live with his mother and now being back with us
- I resent the fact that I had no say in whether he came back (because of course DH has to think of his son's future)
- I resent myself for the way I feel
I have no idea how to go forward at this point.
I gave up having any sort of relationship with SS when he left to go and live with his mother...
It's just getting worse and worse and I don't know what to do.
Ok, *THIS* is the issue. SS
Ok, *THIS* is the issue.
SS has a shit mother.
SS doesn't want to admit to himself that he has a shit mother, so . . .
SS is justifying to himself reasons to not like you, and then
SS is getting revenge for these things.
This isn't going to change without some pretty intesive therapy on SS's part, and even then, it's iffy. Plus, you'd have to convince your DH that SS has a problem which, from the sounds of it, isn't likeley to happen. Your best bet is to disengage at a minimum. Do *nothing* for this kid; don't cook, clean, do laundry, play chauffer, go to school meetings, *nothing*.
SS: INOA, can you take me to school. I'm running late and I missed the bus.
INOA: Sorry, I'm busy; you'll need to call or text your father.
SS: You're not busy!
INOA: Again, you'll need to call or text your father.
If financial issues aren't an issue, you could also rent a small apartment until SS moves out on his own. Make it clear to DH that if SS isn't gone by X (a month after HS graduation, when he turns 18, when college starts, whatever), that you'll be filing for divorce.
DH is a cock sucker! SS was
DH is a cock sucker!
SS was the one ignoring me and telling me he wanted revenge on me and somehow I am the bad person who has not been putting in effort.
He knew when SS last lived with us that it was hell for me and yet he still made the decision to have him come back (becasue it's all about SS).
I tried for 3 1/2 years of having SS live with us to make things work. Even when it is obvious that we can't do it he makes SS move back in with us.
Not to mention we were planning to start to try for a baby......
When is it time for me to become a priority over him and why when I have tried and tried and tried am I still the bad person in all this??
I just can't win.