I'm new here....need help!!!
Hi I'm new here but I've lurking around for a few months.
Here is my story. I met a man last Sept. He seemed like a great guy and was kind and easy going. Before we really got to know each other well he lost his home in a foreclosure.
Me being the caretaker I am let him move in with me. It's been fine. He has a good job, helps around the house etc.
His kids are the issue. It's bad enough they come here EOW but I have just been informed that he gets them for the whole month of June and half of July for summer. Here is the problem....I work from home, he goes to an office. He wants ME to keep the kids while he is working. Ummmm.......what did you do with them before I came on the scene?? I asked him.
His family apparently helped out before. There is NO way in HELL I'm keeping his kids this summer. It's just not going to happen. They are 10 and 12 yr old boys and they have no manners, eat like pigs, are dirty and mess up my usually immaculate home. Seriously , my dogs have better manners!!!
So my question is .....I want to put him out of my house?? I'm not going to be responsible for his kids or be a babysitter. Am I wrong for wanting him to move out ???
I just feel like he needs to have his own place and not expect me to pick up the slack for his previous bad choices...ie purchasing a 700k home when he didn't make enough to keep up the payments ( I'm still pissed at myself for being an enabler and letting him move in my home) and now he thinks I should provide free day care!!!
Believe me it's easier to set
Believe me it's easier to set the boundaries and say no to babysitting his kids in the beginning. I wish I did that. Just because you work from home doesn't mean your job is less important or for you to take weeks off to care for his children.
Good luck.
Girl,, you are on the right
Girl,, you are on the right track: ask him to leave. Your gut is telling you something very, very, VERY, VERY important. Listen to it!!!! TRUST ME!!!!
RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! RUN!!!!
I work from home and it is
I work from home and it is difficult even getting my biokids to understand, after all these years, that that is what I am doing at a desk. You will lose your livelihood if you take the skids on and try to work. But the situation is worse than this. The fact that he can even ask in a new relationship that you take them on during the daytime solo for more than a month, tells the objective bystander that he is demanding too much of you and does not care about your needs. I suspect "lackadaisical" or even "useless" is a better description of this guy than "easygoing". His previous "bad choice" regarding the foreclosure was made when he had responsibility for 2 children. That bad choice was not an accident but endangered his children's welfare. What did he do to regain it? Whilst he already knew he was about to lose his home, he started a relationship with someone who had their own place then promptly moved in... sounds to me a "good choice"... from a selfish pov. This person really does sound like a user, sorry to be blunt.