Is it fair that my BF cooks for adult SS but won’t do it for me?
My boyfriend's 22 year old son lives with us. My boyfriend is VERY demanding with food. He expects me to make him eggs most of the time in the morning. If I just give him coffee and some bread with jelly he will complain that I don't feed him well. But sometimes I don't have time to cook since I also have a life and I go to the gym before work.
I have explained to him that I'm his girlfriend, not his mommy and he needs to be more independent and make things himself if he's hungry. He never agreed with that and thinks I'm a mediocre girlfriend who is selfish.
It turns out that for his adult son, he will get busy in the kitchen and cook. His son is home all day. Doesn't work. Even if my BF is tired from work, he'll make his precious boy something. His boy needs to be fed!!!!! But when it comes to me??? Ummm the story is completely different..., One time my BF stayed home because work was slow. I was out there working and he waited all day for me to get home and cook. He never thought about preparing anything. This has happened multiple times. But for his boy he would move mountains and get busy in the kitchen.
is this fair? Why does his precious boy deserve a special attention and I don't? I actually receive a bad attitude if I don't cook the meals that my BF wants. I am literally expected to cook for him but he won't do it for me
You BF has made it crystal
You BF has made it crystal clear that you are not a priority to him AND he expects you to cater to him.
The question shouldn't be if his behavior is fair? It should be why do you put up with being treated that way.
This isn't a matter of a lack of fairness. The issue is his lack of respect and appreciation for you.
If an adult child is still
If an adult child is still catered to like a toddler, then you will feel some pretty strong resentment - if you are not already - that won't go away. It's difficult to undo dysfunction and you can't undo others' dysfunction for them. If your BF is fine with the way things are, he won't change and neither will his deadbeat son. I agree with the above advice - dump him and move on.
This is 2020. Why does he
This is 2020. Why does he expect you to make breakfast for him? Ugh, I'd be out of there so fast.
I don't work now due to
I don't work now due to corona but my DH is endangering himself every day at work, yet he doesn't demand I do anything! I like to pamper him now because I am home all day, but he'd never demand anything. He'd be making his own food if he started demanding.
"mediocre" girlfriend?! Does he think girlfriend is the same as a maid? Unpaid maid? You are "mediocre girlfriend" but he is useless BF.
I think you should serve him
I think you should serve him up a hot plate of kiss my @ss while you are walking out the door (for the last time).
Ding Ding Ding!
We have a winner. Everything SteppedOut said!!
Your boyfriend is sending a
Your boyfriend is sending a loud and clear message to his son. That message is that the SS is royalty and you are nothing more than a servant.
I suggest you run!
Jesus, why are you with this
Jesus, why are you with this guy? He obviously doesn't care about you.
thinks I'm a mediocre girlfriend who is selfish
I would put him in the position to find a new girlfriend so fast, his dumb, useless head would spin right off.
Fair or not, this guy is an
Fair or not, this guy is an asshole in an emotionally incestuous relationship with his adult son.
smh
Quit cooking for him until he catches up on every meal he has prepared for his Son-partner and not cooked for you. No quid pro quo, no food for DH.
I would not tolerate my spouse being in a relationship with anyone but me. Regardless of who their other significant other relationship may be with.
Just my thoughts of course.
OMG did i read all that right
OMG did i read all that right ?? who cares if the BF is hungry,,, what did he eat before you came along ? this is just silly . He can get off his lazy ass and cook a meal ,, not just for his son , but for you too . Dont cook for him anymore . What a prick!
Yes, he wants me to cater him
Yes, he wants me to cater him. If I don't prepared a full breakfast he'll act like a toddler and be mad at me all day. But I don't understand why he expects me to cook and what about his son??? Shouldn't he cook too??? He's not a boy but a grown man.
i guess it's ok for his prince not to cook but not for me
This is about more than
This is about more than cooking, this is about how your BF sees you and your place in his life. And, it's not good.
If you allow yourself to be
If you allow yourself to be treated like the maid and cook, that's how you will be treated. I suggest you calmly and firmly tell him that you are neither of those things, and you expect to be treated as an equal partner in the relationship. That does not mean cooking breakfast because he demands it.
Then see what happens. If nothing changes, you know it never will. Then it's up to you to either make a change yourself, or live with it. I myself could not live with it.
It's not just the cooking is
It's not just the cooking is it? But the cleaning and looking good for him?
This is the early stage of control and likely abuser. Get out now.