Idk why I'm in a bad mood. But I do at the same time. Lol we haven't seen sd in almost 2 weeks and its been AWESOME!!! But now it's Wednesday and she will be here. Wtf it's been great without her.
you sound like me!! except i'm all annoyed over Friday's arrival!! I'm just hoping that I can keep my crap together until she leaves on Weds. I'm planning on having a little talk with my so about maintaining boundaries and rules as well as making sure that I'm not relegated to the back burner the entire time. Oh yeh, I'm sure that will go over great!!
One way or another I hope you get through this evening!!
How about these milestones: I'd start my own thread but they aren't showing up
Anybody remember these common milestones in their career as a SM?
1. The first undermining re: the house rules by biodad
2. The first time you were told that you need to "relax" and "trust the BM to do the right thing."
3. The day you were left out of the children's family tree art project
4. The first time you were asked "Where's my dad?"
5. The first time you were ignored and not greeted when the skids walked in the door
6. The first time you saw a child sized turd floating in the toilet
7. The day you noticed that the child(ren)'s toothbrush had been bone dry for days.
8. The first time you noticed you became "invisible" the second the child(ren) hopped out of the grocery getter.
9. The tender moment when the skid(s) uttered something completely inappropriate that was obviously parroted from the BM.
10. The precious day you were "left out of the loop" and knew that you would not be included in the decision making process ever again.
11. Similar to 10, heard the words "They're my kids, so BUTT OUT!"
12. How about hearing the phrase "We'll take the high road" or "The BM wouldn't do THAT--you're paranoid/jealous!"
13. The wonderous day you discovered that the skids had gone through all the food in the house like ravenous wood chippers.
14. The lovely trail of candy wrappers from the grocery getter to the front door being your only set of clues that the skids were having an "ad hoc" entitlement training session. . .errr I mean "visitation."
15. The phone call from the skids "deciding" whether or not they would come depending on the amount of "fun" they would have IF they came.
16. The skids showing up either inappropriately dressed for the weather or just period; or in tattered rags that a vagabond wouldn't be caught dead in; clothes three sizes too small/too big.
17. The "walkaway" (When biodad gets a call from the BM or skids and purposely walks out of earshot of you so you can't hear what's going on)
18. The endless calls during biodad's visitation from the BM who is "just checking" on "her babies" (even though they are well past the daycare age)
19. The BM black hole/vortex where the skids take clothes, toys, general items, often expensive, back to the BM's house never to be seen again.
20. The phrase "You don't know what it's like; you don't have children" (for child-free SMs) or "My kids are special/different; your overly strict rules are too mean for my special/different kids" (for SMs who are successful parents)
21. The day you discover that skids have been rooting through your stuff/taking your stuff/stealing your stuff and that's A-OK with biodad because after all, it's "their home too."
As common as ants at a picnic. I was crazy enough to think that everyone parented like I did, the old fashioned way where ADULTS called the shots!! Where a divorced man had a MIND OF HIS OWN and didn't cow-tow to the PASinator BM!! As a single mom myself, my ex-husbands NEVER catered to what I wanted. They didn't give a RATS ASS about what I thought!!
Boy was I SURPRISED! That's why I say NEVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN would I EVER be with a man who had kids REGARDLESS of age. I'd rather be with aa child-free gay guy who didn't mind pinch hitting first!!
#22. The first time you hear "you just hate my kids" and realize that from now on, you can't disagree out loud with anything DH says/does regarding skids or you'll have that line thrown at you every.single.time as his new go-to defense mechanism.
TELL me about it! is it really that difficult to understand that "personal care products" are for personal-f'ng-use?
my DH doesnt get it either. so i take my shit into our bedroom (we all share one bathroom). i've asked him "they're wasting my stuff, please teach them to use it responsibly." "ok i'll talk to them." and my shit still got wasted.
"they're using my towel, please dont let them wipe their faces on the same towel i dried my cootch! they have their own towels that i nicely bought for their own use" "ok i'll talk to them." and my towel still got used.
"my brush is gone. again." "i'll talk to them."
"hey Tuff, where's your brush? skids cant find theirs." "NO. N. O. NO. they've lost the last THREE brushes/combs i've bought/given to them. NO MORE, NOT using mine."
i keep all my shower and daily use products in a basket that goes in and leaves the bathroom with me. my towel gets hung on the back of our bathroom door.
Coping mechanisms. Lol. I think we all do it. I start dreading and tensing a whole 3 days before SS is coming. I leave the upstairs somewhat untidy so I'll have reasons to stay upstairs as much as possible. I go through the motions as much as I can, try to be engaged in some activities, make him feel decently welcome but the whole time I'm praying for the end of his visit. At least since we live away now, I know when he's coming. When we were still in same City, I'd come home for work, ready to relax or have some raunchy fun and instead I'm faced with a brat stretched out on my damn couch, no warning that he was coming or when he was leaving or when I'd be expected to babysit so I didn't even have time to process and prepare for his visit. We want to move back home with a job transfer because I am close with my family and miss our impromptu gatherings, my friends, my own daughter (she's grown). But at same time, I feel like this move saved our marriage and if we go home, nothing has really changed and I can easily see it going back to the same level and I was about to leave him then. In fact, she'll have had that baby and I could see her using that as even more reason to dump SS on us. It's a terrible feeling being stuck between going home and getting divorced.
come home ready to "have some raunchy fun" just to walk in and see skids - i hear ya sister. i totally hear ya. it puts me in the most unimaginably FOUL mood when that happens!!!!
is there an official name for the female equivalent to a cock-block?
Just stretched out, legs sprawled all over couch and wall or coffee table, remote in hands, nothing but shorts on as if he's the man of the house. Meanwhile DH squeezed up on the armchair like damn Forrest Gump. Total turn off.
How about the mental handsprings and fist pumps you do when you see the back of the skid(s) heads getting smaller and smaller as daddykins drives them away back to the BM's house?
And the classic: "I'll talk to him/her/them" Yep I can just imagine how THAT conversation goes:
Guilty daddy: "Now my widdle darlings, no more setting fire to the house because mean, evil SM doesn't want you to--your Mom (BM) and I would let you set fire to SM's house, but you know how it is. . . now let's all get some chocolately, frosty milkshakes whilst eeeeevil SM is at work."
you sound like me!! except
you sound like me!! except i'm all annoyed over Friday's arrival!! I'm just hoping that I can keep my crap together until she leaves on Weds. I'm planning on having a little talk with my so about maintaining boundaries and rules as well as making sure that I'm not relegated to the back burner the entire time. Oh yeh, I'm sure that will go over great!!
One way or another I hope you get through this evening!!
I hate Wednesday and every
I hate Wednesday and every other Friday. Right now I am hating summer!
But this is why Wednesday is always dragonly night. I am meeting the girls tonight for Martini's and dinner
Maybe you should do the the same.
I'd do dinner but I can't
I'd do dinner but I can't have the Martinis just yet. My baby is due in 2 weeks !!
How about these milestones:
How about these milestones: I'd start my own thread but they aren't showing up
Anybody remember these common milestones in their career as a SM?
1. The first undermining re: the house rules by biodad
2. The first time you were told that you need to "relax" and "trust the BM to do the right thing."
3. The day you were left out of the children's family tree art project
4. The first time you were asked "Where's my dad?"
5. The first time you were ignored and not greeted when the skids walked in the door
6. The first time you saw a child sized turd floating in the toilet
7. The day you noticed that the child(ren)'s toothbrush had been bone dry for days.
8. The first time you noticed you became "invisible" the second the child(ren) hopped out of the grocery getter.
9. The tender moment when the skid(s) uttered something completely inappropriate that was obviously parroted from the BM.
10. The precious day you were "left out of the loop" and knew that you would not be included in the decision making process ever again.
11. Similar to 10, heard the words "They're my kids, so BUTT OUT!"
12. How about hearing the phrase "We'll take the high road" or "The BM wouldn't do THAT--you're paranoid/jealous!"
13. The wonderous day you discovered that the skids had gone through all the food in the house like ravenous wood chippers.
14. The lovely trail of candy wrappers from the grocery getter to the front door being your only set of clues that the skids were having an "ad hoc" entitlement training session. . .errr I mean "visitation."
15. The phone call from the skids "deciding" whether or not they would come depending on the amount of "fun" they would have IF they came.
16. The skids showing up either inappropriately dressed for the weather or just period; or in tattered rags that a vagabond wouldn't be caught dead in; clothes three sizes too small/too big.
17. The "walkaway" (When biodad gets a call from the BM or skids and purposely walks out of earshot of you so you can't hear what's going on)
18. The endless calls during biodad's visitation from the BM who is "just checking" on "her babies" (even though they are well past the daycare age)
19. The BM black hole/vortex where the skids take clothes, toys, general items, often expensive, back to the BM's house never to be seen again.
20. The phrase "You don't know what it's like; you don't have children" (for child-free SMs) or "My kids are special/different; your overly strict rules are too mean for my special/different kids" (for SMs who are successful parents)
21. The day you discover that skids have been rooting through your stuff/taking your stuff/stealing your stuff and that's A-OK with biodad because after all, it's "their home too."
WOW, been through them...
WOW, been through them... didn't think / hoped it was not common.
And as stepmother's we are just suppose to swallow and say thank you?
As common as ants at a
As common as ants at a picnic. I was crazy enough to think that everyone parented like I did, the old fashioned way where ADULTS called the shots!! Where a divorced man had a MIND OF HIS OWN and didn't cow-tow to the PASinator BM!! As a single mom myself, my ex-husbands NEVER catered to what I wanted. They didn't give a RATS ASS about what I thought!!
Boy was I SURPRISED! That's why I say NEVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN would I EVER be with a man who had kids REGARDLESS of age. I'd rather be with aa child-free gay guy who didn't mind pinch hitting first!!
Omg. Almost al of them! The
Omg. Almost al of them! The Walk Away drives me crazy.
#22. The first time you hear
#22. The first time you hear "you just hate my kids" and realize that from now on, you can't disagree out loud with anything DH says/does regarding skids or you'll have that line thrown at you every.single.time as his new go-to defense mechanism.
TELL me about it! is it
TELL me about it! is it really that difficult to understand that "personal care products" are for personal-f'ng-use?
my DH doesnt get it either. so i take my shit into our bedroom (we all share one bathroom). i've asked him "they're wasting my stuff, please teach them to use it responsibly." "ok i'll talk to them." and my shit still got wasted.
"they're using my towel, please dont let them wipe their faces on the same towel i dried my cootch! they have their own towels that i nicely bought for their own use" "ok i'll talk to them." and my towel still got used.
"my brush is gone. again." "i'll talk to them."
"hey Tuff, where's your brush? skids cant find theirs." "NO. N. O. NO. they've lost the last THREE brushes/combs i've bought/given to them. NO MORE, NOT using mine."
i keep all my shower and daily use products in a basket that goes in and leaves the bathroom with me. my towel gets hung on the back of our bathroom door.
oops, i just noticed an error
oops, i just noticed an error - i hang my towel on the back of our BEDroom door... have an extra hook there just for it, so skids cant touch it!
i got my basket at the dollar store! it's plastic, with lots of decorative holes in it, but works to air-dry my shampoo/conditioner/bodywash bottles.
maybe it'll work for you as well as it works for me!
Coping mechanisms. Lol. I
Coping mechanisms. Lol. I think we all do it. I start dreading and tensing a whole 3 days before SS is coming. I leave the upstairs somewhat untidy so I'll have reasons to stay upstairs as much as possible. I go through the motions as much as I can, try to be engaged in some activities, make him feel decently welcome but the whole time I'm praying for the end of his visit. At least since we live away now, I know when he's coming. When we were still in same City, I'd come home for work, ready to relax or have some raunchy fun and instead I'm faced with a brat stretched out on my damn couch, no warning that he was coming or when he was leaving or when I'd be expected to babysit so I didn't even have time to process and prepare for his visit. We want to move back home with a job transfer because I am close with my family and miss our impromptu gatherings, my friends, my own daughter (she's grown). But at same time, I feel like this move saved our marriage and if we go home, nothing has really changed and I can easily see it going back to the same level and I was about to leave him then. In fact, she'll have had that baby and I could see her using that as even more reason to dump SS on us. It's a terrible feeling being stuck between going home and getting divorced.
come home ready to "have some
come home ready to "have some raunchy fun" just to walk in and see skids - i hear ya sister. i totally hear ya. it puts me in the most unimaginably FOUL mood when that happens!!!!
is there an official name for the female equivalent to a cock-block?
LMFAO now that is just
LMFAO now that is just friggen perfect!
hahahahaha
hahahahaha
Just stretched out, legs
Just stretched out, legs sprawled all over couch and wall or coffee table, remote in hands, nothing but shorts on as if he's the man of the house. Meanwhile DH squeezed up on the armchair like damn Forrest Gump. Total turn off.
Yeah love the skids sprawling
Yeah love the skids sprawling all over every piece of furniture and monopolizing the television.
How about the mental
And the classic: "I'll talk
And the classic: "I'll talk to him/her/them" Yep I can just imagine how THAT conversation goes:
Guilty daddy: "Now my widdle darlings, no more setting fire to the house because mean, evil SM doesn't want you to--your Mom (BM) and I would let you set fire to SM's house, but you know how it is. . . now let's all get some chocolately, frosty milkshakes whilst eeeeevil SM is at work."