This morning I am sitting here reading the different posts and looking back over my life. Many of the situations are simular and some I could not even imagine dealing with. I am of the older generation, nearing social security age. Iam left wondering how much of the step problems were really more a male attitude that we as females have allowed. The attitude and assumption that"Since you are female then you will want to be the caregiver,quietly do all the behind the scene work that allows the male to shine in the spotlight." and if you don't there must be something wrong with you. Years ago I remember my son who lived with me bringing his infant daughter to the house to live with us. Did not take him long to assume that I would be caregiver while he was dating,working and enjoying his life. And if not me then certainly his 3 younger sisters would want the resposibility. This came to a screaching halt the day he yelled at me for raising my voice to his child when she was acting up. He loved the compliments of how well behaved, smart, and pleasant she was. That was not his doing-it was the females of the household who were raising the child. The job was handed back to him. By that point he met his next wife and he totally dumped the job on her. My daughter's are single moms. They plan their child care needs with the exchanging of services from their other female friends. How many men work out a schedule exchanging childcare services with their guy friends. I don't know of any. This is not all men but a majority seem to feel female equals caregiver. Even with elderly parents, it is the female who usually is left as caregiver, often making arrangements with other females to cover when she works whether it is her parents or his.