I don't often post much and I read alot of the posts because they are like what I would say... but I have to vent....

So my DH and I got married in December, I love the outdoors, but because we choose to get married on the day we meet we got married on the top of a mountain, and then decided to have the party 6 months later in June outside, too cold in December to have outside party here. We didn't figure out the final date until about 3 months ago. Anyway... Orginally it was going to be BM weekend to have them(SS 6 and SD 9) and we were just going to ask her if we could have them for that day as my parents and my daughters Godmother, my best friend and the closest thing I have to a sister, is coming down from 12 hours away. However BM had plans to be out of town for work and asked us if we could swap. We were happy to do it because it also helped us and we didn't have to ask for the day swap. So just last night SS is on the phone with BM while we are eating dinner telling her how his practice was because she couldn't attend, and he asks, "Are you going to come to the party?" Because I don't think she knows the day, I say, "Mommy can't come because she is going to be out of town." I said this so that it wouldn't be a long conversation about what is it when is it.... SS handled it fine and moved on to the next intersting thing like what he was eating for dinner. DH asks me this morning, so what did you say to Jake that BM is upset about the party for... She is saying that we are trying to keep things from her... I didn't realize that I had to tell her about everything that was going on, and to be honest I thought that it would be worse considering it is about us celebrating our marriage. I wasn't even the one that decided not to tell her, DH husband was and I get blamed. I told him, I don't care being the escape goat... I am just get tired that we are always being blamed for keeping stuff from her when it doesn't apply to her why should we tell her? Should I tell her that I have a twisted ankle and am going to the Dr.? I don't want to hear these things from her so why should I tell her when these things are coming from us. I promised her in the beginning I will always let the kids call, and the other night SS said that he isn't allowed to call DH when he is at BM so how do we handle it, we say hey I know he is 6 but he said something that we just want to make sure he messed up a little.... We are always telling the kids to call BM, reminding them to tell her something right away, but I don't think that I have to call her and tell her about things that are happening that don't affect her. I know that it well never be perfect. I know that I will always be the escape goat, I just want the blaming to stop. They are divorced, he doesn't have to report to her... UGH!