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In-laws Advice Please!

angietaba's picture

Just need to vent and wondering if I am wrong. Well the skids are going to be spending the night at my mother in laws house over the weekend my stepdaughter told me. Just like last year on the same day. My mother in law is watching the two skids for baby mama because it is her birthday. I really do not like BM she is so bitter and they have been divorced for 4 years already. I know my mother in law is the one that calls her to offer and it really bugs me. I am pissed off. I havent said anything to my man because i dont want to over react. I dont even get a card or call on my birthday, that is the reason. I am wondering if i should say something to mother in law. Like " Oh they are spending the night i wish i had that on my birthday" But i will say it in a nice casual way. Would love people advice!

Gestalt's picture

This is one of those situations where it would probably be best to not say anything. The in-laws likely aren't doing it to be nice to mom, they are likely doing it cause it means they get kids. Because they ask for mom's birthday, mom will almost always say yes so she can do whatever it is she does.

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

Gestalt's picture

Duh- should have read the next post before hitting the reply button.....sorry

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

livinthedream's picture

DH & I are on the same page with how MIL caters to BM.I dont hide how I feel about it...nor do I have anything at all to do with MIL. As far as Im concerned, she doesnt even exist. Let MIL & BM rule the roost...its their show!

Angel72's picture

I think every situ is different. But if mil is nice with you and has made no issues , i look at this at her oppurtunity to have time with grandkids. SURE bm is getting the benefit, its free etc..etc..but the kids need to see their grandma.
I would ask mil on another time to babysit while you and your hubby go out for dinner. Fair is fair.

Orange County Ca's picture

Why do you care how or when a woman gets together with her grandchildren?

Stick to the battles that are worth fighting and by that I mean your internal, within yourself, battles as well as external battles. It's not YOUR family. It belongs to all of them including you.

Be glad these kids have a grandmother and happy that as bitter as she may seem she'll be missed by some when she's gone.

I hope I'm not being too harsh here. You'll be much happier when you realize that your contentment is not contingent on how others treat each other.

Like it or not the BM is the mother of this womans grandchildren! It is in grandmas best interest to stay on the best side of the BM. Its in your best interest also to at least not be involved in any conflict with her. For your own sake if not for others.