My SS16 finally apologized !!
I have not spoken a word to him in over 2 weeks, not one word! From the moment I found out he refused to plug in my totally disabled daughters iPad when she asked him to after it died, because it wasn't "his job".
I have totally ignored and dismissed him the way he did my daughter. I did the same thing with DH as he refused to hold SS accountable, thus enabling his pathetic behavior.
Well last night SS16 knocked on my bedroom door and offered a very sincere, humble apology which I accepted. I explained to him that I had fought for 18 years for society to treat my DD like a person who mattered, who deserved respect and dignity and to have someone in my own home dismiss her as if she didn't matter was devastating to me. I also explained that if wasn't "my job" to do all the things for him that I've done for the past 10 years either. It was his parents job, but I did it anyway.
So things have improved a bit. This apology only happened after DH had a "talk" with him. I am still pissed at DH for not having the "talk" two weeks earlier! He's do afraid of disciplining his kids that he only steps in when I make the consequences hurt him as well. Stupid men.
"I also explained that if
"I also explained that if wasn't "my job" to do all the things for him that I've done for the past 10 years either. It was his parents job, but I did it anyway."
I am virtually hugging you right now.
You disengaged. You see how
You disengaged. You see how it can work. Don't hesitate to use it again and make sure they know it.
Hugs! I grew up as the
Hugs!
I grew up as the youngest of 5, I have two step brothers and two step sisters, one of my sisters is disabled and I think my mum (Stepmum) wouldve kicked our asses from here to the moon if any of us had done anything like that. I think it was another of yours posts that your DD was left alone when she needs 24/7 care?
I know my sister was and still is the glue within our family, however we were fortunte that our peers never really made negative comments, well, very rarely but those occassions would follow with whoever heard it having a fight (funnily enough we never got told off for smacking another child/teen for being mean about our sister- have always had alot of respect for our teachers with that).
Hopefully your SS had a dipshit moment and may well think about you and about his step sister differently. Damn right she deserves respect and yeah Im still somewhat surprised you didnt kick his ass.
It's rare that his kids ever
It's rare that his kids ever acknowledge or apologize for their atrocious behavior, mainly because he doesn't teach them to. Glad your DH supports you!
I haven't forgiven or
I haven't forgiven or forgotten. I remain deeply hurt. I merely accepted his apology instead of telling him to F off. I recognized it as a start, not a completed re engagement. I am now saying hello when I enter a room he is in, responding to questions etc. We shall see how it goes. It takes a long time for me to even emotionally get past anything that harms my daughter. She is innocent, has a beautiful loving spirit and deserves so much more than the way his kids have always treated her.
I think you did a good job
I think you did a good job explaining why this hurt you so much. Hopefully you opened your stepson's eyes a bit.
Hopefully his apology was
Hopefully his apology was sincere and he takes this as a learning experience. I'd like to think that our skids won't be the same evil people they are now. It's not our jobs to make them that way, but apparently their real parents aren't doing a good job (my skids are evil lol) so if they have to live with you and I, I guess it's up to us to help guide them the best we can till they get the hell out! They will thank us later... I always tell them that when they tell me that I'm being too hard on them.