My step-son irritates me
My step-son just turned 8-years-old, but he acts like he's still 5. He still wears a pull-up to bed because he can't seem to wake himself up to go to the bathroom. I'm so sick of washing sheets because of his pull-ups leaking. He still can't tie his shoes and makes a mess everytime he eats. Just this past weekend he knocked his drink over in a restaurant we were eating in. I have to remind him to brush his teeth and blow his nose. He sniffs and sniffs and it never dawns on him to blow his nose. He doesn't listen; yesterday we were in a parking lot and had to take his bike out of the back of the car. His dad told him to hold it still so that it doesn't fall over and hit the car next to us. What do you know? He knocks it over and almost hits the car beside us. He makes weird faces and makes funny noises in public. We keep telling him to stop because it's very embarrassing, but then 5 minutes later he does it again this time while flailing his arms around or doing some other weird thing. This last Saturday, we were in a store and I was looking at some baby clothes. I back up to turn around and he's standing right behind me. I step on him and trip as well then he laughs, I shove him then he walks off pouting. It irritates me that he acts like this. I have to constantly tell him to be quiet when the baby is sleeping then I get mad because he's awakened her because of his stupid shooting noises he makes with his mouth. I dread the weekends that we have him. I'm to the point now where I don't want to do anything with my daughter and husband because of him. Everything we say is followed by a why. Things that are obvious, he asks what's going on. I know this is mean, but he acts like such a dummy! Does anybody else feel this way?!
It sounds like your SS could
It sounds like your SS could have autism.
I have a cousin who is autistic who has always done that- made noises and flailed his arms around, while moving around. He also makes noises that others would find strange.
He might also have something stressing him out, and that's why he wears pull-ups.
It sounds as though he lives with BM and visits you. Perhaps she hasn't taught him how to eat properly or tie his shoes.
The other possibility is that he knows how to do these things but can sense how you feel about him (and I'm not bashing you for that). Kids sometimes act out when they can sense that they are disliked by others in their environment(s). You could act very nice towards your stepson, but he can still sense that you do not care for him. Kids have excellent BS detectors.
I do not think he is dumb. I just think he needs help.
This is developmentally
This is developmentally normal behavior for an eight year old. Eight year olds are still very young and in transition. They are just beginning to understand where they fit in the world and how their actions affect those around them. They forget a lot and have short attention spans. They need a lots of patience and guidance from their parents. With this age group, discipline is about teaching, not control. I used to teach this age group and they can be so scatterbrained, but that's biology for ya! Sometimes you have a kid who can really focus and retains what they've been taught, but the next moment they can't remember to close the door quietly so that they won't wake up their little sister and you just told them to do this five minutes ago! They get better, believe me.
I understand that you're irritated, but I hope you'll remember that he's still very young and needs patience from those who care for him.