My Vindictive Little Supportive Mind...
Recap: Ok so I didn't leave my BF who apparantly got his ex pregnant with twins after he broke up with her on the first month that we started dating. (I know, I know... but let me explain)
A couple things: We are peachy keen together, no drama, we love each other dearly and connect very well on all levels, and he truly cares about me a great deal. Attentive to my needs and makes an effort to communicate with me on important issues as much as possible. He's great. We work together beautifully. He regrets the day that he jeopardized our relationship. And despite the fact that these children are coming (very soon) we are thinking about a future together but want to wait till the babies are born to make any decisions. His family/friends know about us and support our relationship. Fine.
Ex/BM: I know that it takes two to tango but I'm totally convinced that she premeditated this pregnancy after he broke up with her and got him in a vulnerable position. She Knew about us, she hates that he's moved on, she's still in love with him, clinging on to hope that after the kids are born that he'll come running into her arms. Or that I'll leave him because the "kids" will take up all his time. She does these little annoying things on social networks like leave happy "I love you" comments that I think is done purposely to ruffle my feathers.
My BF: Has made it clear to me that he has no plans/desire to get back with her for the sake of the kids.
I, on the other hand: Am aware that I have no children of my own and can bail at anytime if things get worse. (Trust me I'm taking heed to all the Step Horrors) but something deep down inside is prompting me to STICK by my MAN at ALL costs - support him in EVERY way - Be a great SM to his children even if they remind me of the hurt I felt when they were concieved...Even when I feel like leaving - Not JUST BECAUSE I love him... and I really do. but also because I don't want her to "WIN" at driving me away because of these kids...and losing out on what could be a wonderful relationship with my soulmate...
And you know what?? I've seriously thought about losing the birth control myself... <--- how twisted would that be? Ok let me be rational. But it has crossed my vindictive little mind.
Wow! Well, I don't know how
Wow! Well, I don't know how old the twins are but I guess you will just have to wait and see how you go. If you feel just intolerable resentment then maybe re-think.
You know how you feel about your partner and that's what counts, and you will know if those feelings change - and they might never change.
I know for a fact (she told me) that BM was trying to get pregnant without my partner knowing for ages until it happened and it was 'Oh, such a surprise'. But having a baby didn't help her and it won't help the BM in your position either.
After my partner and I were together for 3 yrs we decided to try for our own babies and I know that he was so excited about these kids being ones that he chose and wanted to have. It made it really special and even though I didn't get to have his first baby, I know that our experience was new for him because it wasn't something forced on him.
Don't get me wrong - he loves ss to pieces, but BM and him were so young that he does regret it sometimes.
What is it with BMs (or women
What is it with BMs (or women in general) who think that they have a guy locked up just because they get pregnant?!
Our BM got pregnant and my DH still wouldn't marry her. Right as they were breaking up, she got pregnant again but didn't tell him until she was 8 months along. He came back to her "for the sake of the children" but still didn't marry her. Now that my skids are 17 and almost 16, she gets pregnant AGAIN! This guy actually did marry her, though. Her child is going to be younger than her grandchild.
I told my DS20 as he was growing up to learn from the hell that his stepdad had to go through and make sure to cover his own butt - and other things - even if the woman said she was on birth control!
Good luck to you in your situation. It takes a very strong woman to deal with a situation like you are dealing with. I hope things work out for you. But PLEASE do not go the sneaky route just because you want to have a child of your own.