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Need Advice

LAMomma's picture

I need some input. We picked up the kids from BM yesterday she made a damn scene, as usual. She's prepping to go back to court so she's pulling out everything. She was acting calm and videoing us for a while but I guess that got old because all she'd get was literally him putting the kids into the car or letting them out. No talking, etc.

She started off with telling him to ask the oldest who is 7 why she doesn't want to come to the house then lead it into telling him my son who is 4 needs to keep his hands of "THEIR" girls inappropriately. That he needs to protect them and I'm only a girlfriend.

First off.. I'm his WIFE and not just a girlfriend. Secondly I assume what she is referring to happened over 6 months ago. SD7 and DS4 were caught in his bed under the covers with their clothes on. We made rules to stay out of the beds unless you're going to bed for the night, etc. The last straw was SD7 constantly requesting to "play family" and we caught the two kissing on the lips while swimming. We've banned that game and taken other precautions.

I'm pissed off because SD7 is twice the age and size of my son but yet is playing the victim. They are BOTH at fault. She had to have went and told her Mom recently because otherwise how would she know? DH tried to bring it up to BM at the time but she wasn't having it. He asked SD7 a couple of questions but didn't really address it. I feel like he should bring up how serious sexual stuff is and accusing someone else of. I feel like if my son was older it would be a lot more serious.

LAMomma's picture

I feel like I've disengaged. I make sure their needs are met when DH isn't around but otherwise I could care less. The last straw for me was when I found out I was pregnant and we told the kids.. SD7 flat out said she was not happy and did not want another baby. I miscarried a week later.. and now this. I'm just done.

NJdevil's picture

I'm so sorry. Maybe I'm petty but I really would have resented your SD7 after the miscarriage. I'm not sure I could get past that either.

twoviewpoints's picture

As long as court is right ahead, Dad can put in some modification request of his own. Neutral public exchanges. Example, police station. No more house exchange. Also, Why do you go to exchanges? With the level of hostilities already present, why subject yourself and any additional children to it?

LAMomma's picture

We already meet at a neutral place.. A gas station that is midpoint. The owner is tired of us meeting there though because she screams and makes scenes frequently but it's what's in the court order.

I go as a witness and to video if need be. She has hit him before and she brings her boyfriend who also approached our vehicle and pushed against DH to supposedly see in our truck. It's better to have two people with the history. I stay in the vehicle, don't talk, just observe.

LAMomma's picture

They were clothed in all instances. I don't think any actual touching occurred. We watch them very closely and have rules set in place now to prevent anything future hopefully.

Rags's picture

The 7yo is the one driving this, not your 4yo. BM needs her ass bared on this one. Time to turn up the ass baring volume on her crap and hire a PI to follow her around and get all kinds of juicy video of her to premier in court when she pulls the trigger on that.

Enjoy!!!! }:)