Hi guys I'm new to this site so I'm not sure what all the abreviations are so I'll try to make this as short as possible. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost three years. He has a 11 year old daughter and an 9 year old son. I also have a 9 year old daughter we have no children together. Our relationship was great very little drama from ex spouses, kids getting along great, etc so we then had the fabulous idea to move in together lol!
We moved in to his house because it was the logical choice it is bigger and he did his best I suppose to make us feel welcome, but I feel like so many things get on my nerves!!!I guess you never really realize how some is until you actually live together.
There are many frustrations, but this post will be focused on his mom! One of the most passive agressive and difficult people I have ever had to figure out. He is an only child and she doesn't work so her entire focus is on watching his two kids after school and spoiling them to a borderline rotten state. At first she tried to make my daughter feel welcome, and like one of the other kids, and would often comment "oh it's like she's been my granddaughter from the start" She even offered to watch her over the summer last summer (before I moved in) to save me some money, which I thought was a nice gesture. I brought snacks over for all the kids, and paid her what I could afford then at the end of the summer I paid for her hair to get done at her salon because truly that was a nice thing to do. The odd thing is since I have moved in she is treating my daughter less like a grandkid. She sends home snacks for the other two kids (just two of them when there are three kids) she gave my step son a 100 bill for his bday then gave my daughter a $25 gift card for her bday. her and her husband didn't go to the party they went out of town. I don't even think she sent a text to say happy bday. she would have never missed the other two kids bdays. and blows up every form of social media and phone outlet wishing them happy bday. the other two kids are constantly coming home with new books and clothes and nada for my daughter. When I go out and buy something for my daughter I bring something home for both of his kids to try and make them feel all as one. I understand she is not your "real" grand daughter but then why walk around and say she is? just don't say anything at all and maybe it would irritate me less
this summer has rolled around and starts on monday she has said nothing about inviting my daughter over to stay with the other kids so I made other arrangements. then the comment is made that the other kids will spend a lot of time at our house since we have a pool (oh yea did I mention she has a key to our house and is constantly dropping by to "drop things off" when she lives clear across town and my boyfirend is literally at her house at least three times a week. )
I do not expect her to watch my daughter but it's going to be a weird thing to bring her home and all the other kids are at what is supposed to be her house?am I over thinking this?
before I came around my boyfriend was in an on again off again relationship with the other kids mom. they lived in seperate houses and didn't get along the best so his mom has literally been the woman in his life up until me. is she feeling threatened because that's her only kid? I could go on and on about her behavior i.e.she'll ask if she needs to bring over dinner because we are "so busy" if I reply thanks so much but I have the slow cooker going she will react by making a giant lunch and taking it to her son at work lol does she need a hobby? do I make her feel insecure because I'm stepping into her role? of course she has to mention how much she loooovvvves me in front of him but then takes steps to undermine me any time she can. I try to let it roll off my back but it's starting to get to me. my relationship with my boyfriend is great for the most part. does anyone else have a mom in law type person like this? did they ever back off and ge their own life?