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Newborn baby and sick step kid

KF1987's picture

Submitted by KF1987 on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 3:16am

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General Discussion

So I had a baby on 28/12/23, the day after, partner was due to have his 2 year old daughter. He was told she was ill with a cough and temp. I told my partner she needed to be kept away from the baby. So when she get here, she naturally wants to come and see the baby. Partner lets her touch his arm but not kiss and cuddle her. I already said I didn't want her to be close to him. She was then up all night crying with a high temp. Partner dropped her back early in the morning to her mums. Now the other kids in the house are ill with coughs. Luckily they are older so will stay away from the baby. 

So step daughter is coming back today, still coughing. I have told my partner she isn't to go any where near the baby as I don't want him getting sick. It's a really nasty virus so he could potentially end up in hospital. Fed up because he has agreed to have her for an extra day as well so I rekon I am going to be confined to my bedroom for 2.5 days. He is grumpy that I have said they aren't to have contact as he thinks it will all be fine. Just feeling very fed up! 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 4:30am

Your baby is particularly vulnerable at the moment. He hasn't developed an immune system. Did your idiot husband even think of testing his daughter for COVID?

You are absolutely right to keep the child away from your baby. NICU is no laughing matter. BTDT, unfortunately.

KF1987's picture

Submitted by KF1987 on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 5:54am

No he didn't, doesn't seem to understand that I don't care if his daughter wants to touch the baby, his health comes first! 

AgedOut's picture

Submitted by AgedOut on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 7:10am

covid or rsv can be life ending for an infant. tell him to pull his head out of his tush and keep sick kids far away from the baby. remind him that this is not a joke. have a come to Cheesus moment, this is serious and it doesn't seem like he's taking it seriously at all. 

 

 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 11:15am

DH and the sick kid should go to the hotel. But then he will just be spreading it there, too. Also, he needs to be helping the OP with their brand new baby, not taking on a sick toddler. 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Wed, 01/03/2024 - 12:28am

I am truly pissed for OP that her husband couldn't understand that, a day after she gave birth, his place was by her side, to help her in any way he could not running around catering to a toddler. He absolutely should have skipped visitation this time. 

PetSpoiler's picture

Submitted by PetSpoiler on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 10:39am

Two year old needs to stay home with her mother until she's better.  My husband and I had our fair share of problems with BM, but I don't remember her ever sending him to us running a fever and just bad sick.  And this was before we had our bios.  She'd keep him with her and we'd just get him next time.  When he came to live with us, same deal as far as I can remember.  Your husband needs to remember he has another child who is very vulnerable right now.  It won't traumatize the two year old to stay with Mom until she's not at risk of getting her baby brother sick.  

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 10:45am

Why is your husband hellbent on traipsing his sick daughter around when she feels like shit - that isn't love. And why is he determined to infect as many people as possible with her? That's not only stupid it's also highly irresponsible.  Is he using his own brain or is he breaking it in for an idiot?

KF1987's picture

Submitted by KF1987 on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 11:07am

Because he misses her, so this is worth risking the health of our newborn baby apparently. The mum is not at all amicable with partner despite our numerous attempts to co parent without conflict. She normally hates partner having his daughter (there is a court order) but since we had a baby she is pushing for his to see her more, even though she is poorly. So today he collected early and is having her an extra day. Great! 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 11:05am

You're being very reasonable.  My DD was born at the beginning of COVID and SDs weren't allowed in our house if/when they were sick.  We were 50/50 but we had a 2 week period during that time when DH just didn't see the SDs.  BM was fine with keeping them.  Young babies shouldn't be put at risk if there's any alternative. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 12:21pm

Wow. 

Time to pack yourself and the baby up and head to a hotel until the infected toddler spawn is gone.  Inform DH that never again will he accept visitation into YOUR home of a sick child.

This guy's idiocy is beyond comprehension.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 2:15pm

And... you have a partner to care for them while you protect the new born from the virus farm toddler who has a mommy thatshould be caring for it while it is sick.

That your mate is risking the health of his newborn is beyond mind boggling.  He needs to inform BM that sick kids will not visit the home he has with you as there are far too many others at risk.

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 4:25pm

DH can take sd to a hotel, his parents, or give up his time with his daughter until she is healthy. 

Do you know that YOU are well within your rights to say NO to allowing anyone who is ill into your home? Especially with a new baby?

Is he affraid of bm?

 

KF1987's picture

Submitted by KF1987 on Wed, 01/03/2024 - 4:00am

He is definitely aware of my feelings on the matter! My baby isn't even a week old, the kids are all getting sick and I'm very emotional!