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No one's the bitch

girlonstage22's picture

I have not been on here in ages but wanted to share with everyone about what great progress I have made. (Not gonna go into my story but feel free to read some old posts) I have been busting my butt to get along with BM since I met DH. And I have to say that now we are really working together and getting along great! Don't get me wrong though, my life is still hell. She still is unwilling to work with us on everything and it's not all perfect. But SD is so much happier and we have all evolved into some type of "family." BM and her husband treat our new baby like their nephew and now she is expecting and we will probably act like that with hers. It is so wonderful and I finally feel a part of the family.

I know it seems crazy to think you could actually be "friends" with the other woman but I am living proof it is worth a shot. If not for your own sanity then for the kids. I cannot begin to tell you how much our lives have changed since she and I have gotten closer. My SD no longer worries about disappointing her mom by liking me.

One great tool I have found is the book "No One's the Bitch." Although this book came out after my hard work was already started, it is a great resource for moms and stepmoms. The authors(mom and stepmom) also have a blog (noonesthebitch.com) that is a great read too. I strongly encourage all moms and stepmoms to really work together and find common ground. I know there are some evil women out there but, trust me, if my SD's mom can change, anyone can! If anyone ever wants to talk about this, please email me. I am glad to share all of my mistakes!

Wicked2Three's picture

I checked out the web site. It looks like it could be interesting if both parties were up for it. I am currently reading "Stepmonster" hoping it will have some answers for me.

I'm not sure if I feel it's just too late in the game or that there is too much water under the bridge, but honestly, I take great comfort in knowing that she's the bitch.

Maybe I just need some sleep.

girlonstage22's picture

Don't get me wrong. We're not best friends or anything. But we are all working together to get along for sake of our kids. She was not willing to work with me or be my "friend" in the beginning. But slowly she has been more open to it.

She was horrible and did some pretty bad things in the past. But I started to realize how she felt and that I needed to find compassion for her no matter what she did to me and my husband. Slowly I began to see her as a mother and not as his ex wife. This helped because I had my own evil stepmother who treated my mom like crap. I will not ever be that person. And I realized that I wasn't perfect either.

Georgie Girl's picture

I will have to check that out.