Oh my gosh i can't stand sd!
So I plan out meals, grocery shop, cook big dinners trying to appease everyone so with someone vegetarian, someone legit allergic to all things milk, 2 very picky eaters (dh and sd). It can be difficult, i usually pre wash all dishes in the sink (including everyone's breakfast, lunch and snack dishes) and all 3 teens take turns empty and loading. Sd has been complaining that there are soooi many dishes. Usually tell her, "thank goodness i washed them all, the only thing you gave to do is load them." She continues to whine about how many dishes there are....
I told her the next time she complained about it i wouldn't prerinse the dishes for her. With out fail the next tobe it was time for her to load the dish washer, she complained about how many dishes there were! I was still in the middle of fixing the huge nightly dinner! I told her, "nice! now i don't have top pre rinse any dishes for you. I left to go fold laundry. Dh tells me i shouldn't be so hard on her, they all complain. I told him that's not true, yes one dd does complain about the dishes, but after i told her the same exact thing about me not pre rinsing, she hasn't complained since. My other dd THANKS ME for pre rinsing the dishes. She tells me how she can't believe i do so much work in the house and still have time and energy ro pre rinse the dishes after a long hard day. Hearing her say that and knowing she appreciates everything i do makes me WANT to do little things ro make things easier on her.
Anyways, afterwards she did dishes never apologized, acted like nothing happened. Just as she's done in the past, i think the last time she's apologized to me for anything she's done was when she was 6. Im not going to make her apologize, it's not my place... but dang she's the most rude person ive ever met. Im not judging by this action alone, just everything she's ever done since ive met her.
If you are not getting help
If you are not getting help but need to cook, and you enjoy cooking, then fine. However you stop cleaning up, period. The rule here is that the cook does not need to clean up (unless said cook...I'm thinking of DH...uses every single pot and pan and all counters are covered with multiple utensils and spills and things because he doesn't clean even a little bit as he goes), those that get to enjoy the meal with no work clean up. You can say this clearly, nicely and firmly. It's an actual thing in many families! Here, OSD does not really help clean up, she'll bring stuff into the kitchen then walk away. DH has to do her dishes, period. I refuse to do them.
And sometimes, if the sink is full of dishes and things I need are not cleaned, then, funny, but I cannot seem to cook without items at the ready and a clean sink for the cook's use.
You're right, i shouldn't
You're right, i shouldn't have to clean all the dishes when I'm doing everything else in the house. I literally had no down time that day. On my day off i had 5 loads of laundry, cooked breakfast lunch and dinner (i was planning on doing the dishes) and i was EXHAUSTED. And my back was out from scrubbing the floor that SD all over since she couldn't pick it up because the liquid soap outs sooo squishy she was going to vomit (i call BS on that) but DH was out picking up her couch and had to get down the hallway with it without slipping, so it had to get cleaned. All this and SD had the GUTS to complain about the dishes.... i get so sick to my stomach with her.
if my son didnt wash his
if my son didnt wash his dishes and left them in the sink , i would calmly pick them up and dump them on his bed,, i only did this twice before he got the message and never left his dishes for anyone! All kids should be doing the dishes anyway,, this is a chore for the children regardless of the age. go on strike without even saying anything ,, you will be suprised how fast they clue on
They typically do, just
They typically do, just recently have i started to pre-rinse for them, out of the kindness of my heart. Im actually a kind and selfless person by nature... I usually get taken advantage of, i have issues saying no, or vocalizing when i feel taken advantage of. Sd is the type of person that sees that and takes advantage at every opportunity. I swear she has a narcissistic personality disorder. She only sees people as a means to get what she wants.
This was something i told my husband about 2.5 yrs ago or more
”if you don’t have anything positive to say about the situation or anything positive you can do to help the situation, then shut it!!!” Those are words to live by.
so when you have a newborn crying and hubby winges bubs is interrupting his sleep at 5 weeks old and its been like this since she was born but you as the mum have had no sleep since she was born, instead of you winging about bubs crying, how about getting off your arse to try settle your daughter so your wife can actually get some sleep when she has been up the past 6 hours and got 2 hours sleep in 48 hrs...
since then, my husband doesn’t open his mouth to bitch about things. If there is something positive he can do then do it.
in your case, sd can shut her whinging and actually just rinse the dishes because her complaining there are plenty doesn’t help the situation and she’s becoming so annoying
That's what I'm saying. Sd
That's what I'm saying. Sd is completely self absorbed, she talks about how she's such a sensitive person. She's not, she's just an infantile cry baby. She thinks about nobody but herself. People help get and all she can dio is complain, she thanks nobody, apologizes to nobody, has nobodies feelings in mind with anything she does or says.
For legitimate medically
For legitimate medically neccessary dietary restrictions I am fine with accomodating those needs when cooking. All other dietary limits are a choice. Those people can eat what is prepared or they can cook for themselves.
My SIL (brother's wife) is a veg head. This woman lives on Dr. Pepper and M&Ms and yet is morbidly adamant that she does not eat meat. There is no reason for it other than she is trying to cater to and impress her Yoga guru buddies. There is absolutely zero imperitive requirement that she avoid meat.
It pisses me off the most when my mom will go to the ends of the culinary universe to cook for my SIL when my mom is already preparing amazing feasts for everyone else in the family. Oddly my mom will fight me tooth and nail about my need for no/lo carb meals but will jump through her ass backwards for my SIL's made up dietary bullshit. It drives me nuckin futz.
People who play the "But I don't like that!" game get just that and they like it or starve.
I don't play the picky eater games.
My nephew's (my brothers middle child and eldest son) GF is vegan. But unlike my SIL, she is not a PITA about it. She will eat around whatever is prepared and not make any demands for anything special.
Mon always does home made breads, salad, veg and a main course meat dish. What motivates her to make a veg version of the main dish to cater to my SIL is beyond me. My SIL makes nearly no effort to be a part of the family. Beyond bearing three of their 4 GKs to my SIL our family is little more than an after thought.
Even though mom will regularly sneak in ingredients that she knows I won't eat, I just ask what is in a dish and if I can't eat it I don't eat it. I eat around the table avoiding high carb foods. I don't make a big deal over it and I always thank mom for the amazing meals she creates.