OMG..................
So........after DH and SD15 sat and watched cartoons they got up to go eat, without saying a word. I walked out into the garage and asked where they were going and he said to go eat. Okay fine. I called him and asked if he'd bring me something back and he acted like he had no idea who I was and hung up, then I called back and he said he would. He got home and told me my dinner was in the kitchen, I go down to the kitchen and there was nothing. I'm sure he got a big kick out of that. Then today I ran some errands and when I got back he had put pictures of SD15 all in the bedroom and I found three pictures of me in frames in the trash. He's mad because I didn't baby the fat ass while she was here. I've removed the pictures and that will cause problems of course. This anger will last two or three days and then it'll be back to normal until he has SD15 again. It's a freak show around here when anything about her is involved. And who in their right mind wants to look at pictures of a fat kid when they're trying to go to sleep? I don't. I don't put pictures of people in the living room or bedroom, that's just me and he knows it. I'm so damn mad and so fed up. The thought of having to deal with this anymore really pisses me off.
LOL!!!
LOL!!!
Get out of there. This
Get out of there. This actually does sound like a freak show.
I'd say we don't have any
I'd say we don't have any details aside from this bizzar situation as SOMETHING(s) had to happen to lead up to this stupidity but then, if your DH is throwing away your picture and replacing them with his daughters...I'd assume it was over between the two of you anyway...
If you're sticking it out & if there is a next time, plan your weekend and don't share your plans with your DH...just breeze in and out whenever the mood strikes you.
I had written earlier about
I had written earlier about the situation with DH and SD15, this was just a follow up on the weekend. If I could afford to get out I would in a heart beat but I can't and so right now I'm stuck. So glad I found this site so I can at least vent. Things are very calm around here until the day he has her. They're both "diggers." When they came in yesterday he was upstairs in the bathroom and I heard all this noise and she was downstairs digging through the drawers like she was in a panic. When I said "what are you doing" she stopped and went and sat down. He's the same way. I can leave the house and will put things in a certain position in the closet even and come back and they've been moved. I don't understand the need to "dig" through things.
I really think he expects me to entertain his daughter when she's here and since I have refused to do this he sees it as I'm being mean but I've told him it's not my job to entertain his kid, it's his and this is suppose to be their time. Ugh, I just want to scream.
I'm telling ya, she's 15 and
I'm telling ya, she's 15 and doesn't like boys so that only leaves girls so there's hope she'll never get pregnant, I just got sick a little. Actually when she's with him she orders healthier stuff because she sees what he orders but she will clean the plate and damn near lick it clean. He's a work out freak and a health food nut. She gets the fattening stuff at home with mom and says her mom likes to make cakes and she does nothing but sit on her ass and watches TV when at home. There was once when he did refuse to take her anywhere because of her odor but now it's like he's just ignoring it. I really don't think he enjoys his time with her, I think he feels that because he pays for her he should do it. If he enjoyed it you'd think he'd be a little happy when the time comes to go get her and maybe that's why he wants me to entertain her, so he won't have to. As far as digging, I could plant rat traps and other things but instead I'm going to let her dig and dig and she'll find nothing to take because I'll remove anything of value from the living room and any other room she goes into while she's here. I don't trust her and her dads an idiot too.
Right now I have over $50,000
Right now I have over $50,000 in medical bills from 7 surgeries. I can't afford to leave and he owned his house before we were married so it's his. I have my own account and he has his, he's a control freak so of course wasn't going to dare put my name on his account. It's like we're married in name only. As for telling her to stop digging, anything I say to her pisses him off because if it's not telling her she's gorgeous or whatever then he thinks it's mean and the b.s. starts all over again. I've told her when her hair was dirty or when she needs to go shave her legs if she insisted on wearing shorts and you'd thought I had slapped her across the room from the way she acts and then the way he acts. That's why I really do my best to avoid her when she's here. I just want a calm life and know until I'm out of here that won't happen so I'm working on it, just takes time.
Bethtx Please for your own
Bethtx
Please for your own sake look into Medical Bankruptcy. It is a program you can go through to declare bankruptcy on your medical bills only. From what I understand it does not affect your other credit. If medical debt is all that is holding you in this abuse filled relationship, eliminate it.
I don't know the whole story,
I don't know the whole story, but come on already. You are calling a 15 year old girl fatass, etc. She is at such a tender age. Grow up.
what you are going through is
what you are going through is horrifying! i hope you really do see that you are better than all of that nonsense, and are truly working on a way of getting out of that mess. do you have a friend or relative that could help you out?-i know it sucks to ask for help sometimes, but honestly what could be worse than what you are living right now? please, take care of yourself. your husband makes me sick-he is abusive and stupid, that is the most dangerous combination.
There's always someone who
There's always someone who wants to act as though not telling a 15 yo she's fat is doing her any good. It's not! My mother would have told me in a second that I needed to lose weight because if nothing else it's not healthy, so people like Raindrop are easily ignored.
I have no family left and would be able to go to a friends if it came down to it and of course I'd hate to. I work so saving up is something I'm working on and as soon as I get enough to leave I'll be gone. I consider DH mental and his kid too. Neither of them have a personality and I swear when you look in her eyes it's like they're blank, no feelings whatsoever.
well good luck to you, hope
well good luck to you, hope things get better sooner than later. i believe you about sd15. she sounds identical to my own step-sister when she was that age...she does have mental problems btw, shes in her twenties now-total whack job. filthy/stinky/fat/expressionless...didnt change.
We've been married 9 years,
We've been married 9 years, together for 14. He did buy a house back when we were dating for me to live in and I kept the emails where he talks about "the house I bought for you." I will be sure and give those to the lawyer as they should help me. I've got a few small bills I need to pay off and that'd make it easier for me to live as I don't make much so I'm hoping by July to be out of here.
A couple of lovey dovey
A couple of lovey dovey emails aren't going to do a damn bit of good. Get your name on that deed before you try to leave.
Um... I'm at a loss for
Um... I'm at a loss for words. Wait, I just found some.
ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? My advice? Draft (in private, for your eyes only) a detailed exit plan. And by that I mean a literal strategy with dates and stick to it. NOONE deserves to go through that kind of shit. Get your roadmap, save every penny, and GO!
Thank you BellaMia, excellent
Thank you BellaMia, excellent idea and that's what I'm doing. First thing tomorrow I'm calling about a part-time job and hopefully working two jobs will make it go faster, if I get the job of course. Crossing fingers.
Beth, I promise you that
Beth, I promise you that there "IS" a way to get out. Trust me, you are NOT stuck there. I know that going to a Women's Shelter is the last thing you want to do, but you need to go there. They can get you the legal help that you need. You are being mentally and emotionally abused. They have people that can tell you what your rights are. YOU DO HAVE RIGHTS!!!! I'm not a big one on Alimony, but....I would go after his ass (even if it's temporary alimony.) Please think about it. Best of luck to you.
Why hasn't bm or school nurse
Why hasn't bm or school nurse or counselor or her gyn stepped in to speak up and tell her to wash. Certainly the kids at school already tell her she's a stinky fat ass. Can u ask someone at school to a dress it so it's not you? Since dh thinks it's mean, maybe u can send a letter to school anonymously? The school would have to have someone talk to her or bm and dh.
File bankruptcy before u pay those 50k med bills. It's insane to have those bills.
I'm not even allowed to know
I'm not even allowed to know what school she attends. She said she was going to sign up for softball one year and I said I'd love to see her play but she didn't go after signing up because it was too hot outside and I'd already been told I couldn't go because baby mama would be there and she'd try to start trouble (like I care?) I know very little about her life other then when she's here and there's not much said then. She has told me she has no friends and when I asked if it bothered her she said no. There have been times when I've bought her really cute clothes but she's never been seen in them. I'm thinking BM doesn't allow her to wear them. I've spent a lot of money on her at Christmas and Birthday but have never seen her even wear the jewelry I've purchased for her. She's a big girl all around and wears a size 11.5 shoe. She comes here in jeans that are cut off at the knee and socks and these huge tennis shoes that have velcro on them for closure..........and normally a tight shirt that shows all the rolls, hair pulled back tight to the head which is easy because it's so oily and the acne is horrible. I told her about a soap that would help with the acne and she said something to her dad and he then asked why I was being mean to her so that was the last thing I said to her other then hello, and hello from me is rare. But see, now she's back home and he's nice again. I don't get it at all. I really wonder if he's miserable being around her and takes it out on me, either way, I'm sick of it and he has no right to say the things he does or do the things he does to me when she's around.
Honestly, I can see where
Honestly, I can see where the frustration lies.
But please stop calling her fat. Even if it for her own health, let her parents deal with that.
And don't mention her hairy legs or ask her to shave. That's not a health concern at all and it's sort of cruel. Maybe have shaved legs isn't important to her.
I never posted that I call
I never posted that I call her fat to her face, I'd not do that but I will call her that in my posts as a way to vent. I have told her she needed to shave her legs because going out in public in shorts with very very hairy legs isn't right and if her BM won't tell her that part I will when she's with me. She needs to learn from someone or she'll go through life having people make fun of her and it should start at home instead of being insulted by strangers.
Maybe she doesn't appreciate
Maybe she doesn't appreciate hearing it from you. Maybe you need to just think NMKNMP (not my kid, not my problem)
And you posted somewhere that you mention her weight. whether it's to her or her dad, unless it's coming from a loving place (which you don't seem to show through your posts) then I could see why it would become a problem.
And who says having hairy legs isn't "right". There are millions of people in the world who don't shave their legs/armpits/bikini area.
so why isnt it coming from a
so why isnt it coming from a good place? She is trying to save this girl from embarrassment both at school and in the future. Noone else seems to care. It's not even the weight that is necessary the issue-but she has poor hygiene, wears ill fitting clothes-kids have to be making fun of her-and yes, if you are in high school and go to school with hairy legs you will be made fun. If you have a job in which you are required to wear shorts they will probably have a problem with your hairy legs. Perhaps in other countries/cultures this may be fine but it is not the mainstream here.
It's easy to think-not my kid-not my problem until she starts smelling up YOUR house. Then it becomes her problem. My ss13 has smelled so heinous a couple of times that being in an enclosed vehicle almost made me vomit. That is MY problem and I've got every right to say something about it as does the op
It's not coming from a good
It's not coming from a good place because she obviously has dislike for this girl. Throughout her threads she has called her fatso, stinky, made fun of her AND her father, called them both idiots. She laughs at the misfortune of ill fitting clothing.
People have trouble not wearing their feelings on their sleeve for others to see. I'm sure this girl gets a vibe from her that let's her know that she finds the girl disgusting and repulsive.
Did you not read earlier that when dad went to pick up his daughter, before the daughter had even taken her shoes off, Bethtx had already laid into her about how she WILL shower , WILL not use the master bedroom,WILL not sleep on hte couch etc. How do you think this girl felt being ambushed at the front door of her fathers place. If I were her, I wouldn't be taking any advice from bethtx either. I only listen to those who I have respect for. If someone talked to me and about me the way bethtx does, I would turn my ears off.
Bethtx talks through dad by making him feel guilty and then gets angry when he doesn't get out exactly what SHE wants him to say.
That's why I say NMKNMP. Why invest so much bad feelings and hatred into someone you don't even like. If you (general you) can't figure out house rules between you and dad, then maybe you need to look at your options. But you can't bully someone into being what you want them to be.
Bethtx - I am less than a
Bethtx - I am less than a week away from setting my own exit plan into place.
Please PM me if you want any suggestions...
I sent you a message and
I sent you a message and hopefully it went through. I have been working on some things today and might be out of here much earlier then I had originally planned. Crossing fingers and saying prayers.