He is talking out of his ass, file contempt charges. If he's court ordered to pay 50%, he needs to be made to pay it.

I think you have to let him know that if he doesn't start paying his court-ordered percentage of the costs, you will be returning to court.  Then just do it.

He can whine all he want, the court won't care about whether you have help and he doesn't - they will make him pay. So fire a warning shot across the bow and then file for non-payment in court.  They will take care of it at their own pace, but they will take care of it. 

He pays no child support and thinks that your husband should be covering the costs for his child? Well, that's what it boils down to.

We all know that he should not be expecting your husband to "make up the difference"... I might be tempted to stoop to his level and tell him that you don't have a "mommy that takes care of all my responsibilities either.. so guess we are even on that front".

I guess you have to take a hard look at the situation and decide whether it will be worth it to "fight" the situation.  Part of what you may want to consider is whether 50/50 is really working.  If you have the kids 75% of the time? perhaps that should be officially adjusted and some CS ordered (in addition to the cost of these medical costs).

I'm not sure if this would be possible.. but if you have it all documented for the last several years.. perhaps you could point out that you put out 2500K of your own money.. and are not getting reimbursed the 1250 from him.. or whatever amount you can point to... maybe they would be willing to order some small standard amount that would cover some minimal level of expected expenses.. and then only split costs over THAT amount? 

So... is it worth a fight?  I don't know.. is it a matter of hundreds? or is it a matter of thousands of dollars?  how much would it cost to bring it to court.. would he be responsible for court costs too? your lawyer? 

If you ultimately decide it isn't worth the fight.. you will have to work really hard to not let it get to you and accept it as something you cannot change.  Maybe just send him a monthly bill in writing with documentation of the outstanding obligation.. and then if he pays.. great.. if he doesn't.. it just rolls to the next bill.  perhaps when it gets to a certain outstanding balance.. that is when you take more action?

We were told by our lawyer to send a certified letter with the amount owed to the ex. The letter should state that they have 30 days in which to pay their portion of the invoice (You must include copies of the receipt with the date stamped) and if they don't pay it within the 30 day window you can either file contempt charges or take them to small claims court. Our lawyer told us to either do this or just pay the bill and accept that Meth Mouth was a deadbeat and we would be raising Spawn on our own.

Second, only way he going to do anything is if you live in the courts.  Sometimes you just have to give up.  You are not going to get blood from a stone.  Save all the bills and take him yo court ever two years for repayment 

Even the extreme cold/hot weather and pollen causes major flare ups and we always see his dermatologist for antihistamines and steroid creams. Without it he’d be covered in sores. Its not an optional medical treatment like your ex is thinking, it’s seriously needed to keep her medical condition manageable or she could go into anaphylaxis 

i think you do need to go back to court to address this if he heeds your written warnings giving him x days to pay. Also suggest your specialist writes a letter confirming her severe allergies and that it is mandatory she is given her shots, meds and any steroid creams he prescribes. Then document everything when she leaves your house how many pills, take a pic then when she comes back from dads place and same number of pills are there. 

Document all that because if he tells court “oh my ex faked those pics she just made it look like those number of pills were there” vs all your documentation written down, court should side with you. Also if her allergies are that bad surely she is leaving your house with minimal rash and comes back to your place with red crusty skin from the eczema flare up. Also the specialist letter needs to state that her not taking her meds will cause flare ups of her eczema red rash, crusty skin and sores which easily lead to an infection so at least if you have before and after pics of her skin leaving your home and coming back from her dads, he can’t bs “oh that was from something else”

What a dead beat POS.  Stop pussy footing around with him and nail his ass in court for a pile of CS. If he can afford three cars, an RV and a stable of man toys he can support his child.

So, go for blood.  Get the courts involved, and stop tolerating his bullshit excuses for being a POS deadbeat.

That he is single and you are not is complete crap.  His sperm didn't care if he was single or not when he impregnated you and did his half of creating your child.  The child should have full benefit of daddy's money and you need to get his butt to court, build a tightening box around him and defend your child's right to be supported by daddy.

Make sure to petition for direct payroll withholding of CS from his pay checks so that you don't have to to fight with him over it.  Let the CSE office and the courts hold his nose to the CS grindstone.  On the money he owes for his share of medical expenses, you will likely have to sue him for that separately from the CS action.

smh

There will always be an excuse. Right now, it's that you're remarried. When his mom dies, it'll be that he has "lost his familial support". When HE gets married, it'll be "I have my own home to support now".

These types ALWAYS have an excuse as to why they shouldn't have to pay, and the only way to make them is to make it as impossible as possible for them to not skip out on their obligations.

Someone mentioned a certified letter with a threat of civil court to be repaid. I'd go that route, THEN take it back to family court to get the CO updated since child care is no longer a factor and your income has increased. Hopefully the one-two punch of making him repay what he owes AND modifying the current CO will set his head straight.

But just talking and begging won't do anything. You'll have to use force to get him to straighten up. 

I have never seen a post here I can relate to this much. I have always had a great job, but for years I job shared or worked part time. I was always the little woman in my first marriage. It was ridiculous and I can't believe I put up with it, not to mention my ex had very little financial discipline. I am one of those rare cases where divorce was a financial windfall, not only just the timing of a life changing promotion, but I know how to manange my budget and live within my means (I think that is called "Adulting" - a shocking number of people cannot do this).

For the first few year my ex paid what he was supposed to and would split the kids' medical, sports, etc. Over the years he has made a series of stupid decisions like buying a vacation home with a good portion of his 401k (now sold, nothing to show for it except the tax penalties, loss of market gains and no retirement savings...dumbass) - let's just say I am remarred and live in a beautiful home (which I paid for 80% and that is reflected in our trusts) and probably make 7 or 8 times what my ex does. My ex also has had a series of women; he's lived in like 6 states in the 6 years we've been divorced, at least 8 jobs of dimimishing responsibility and span, and that pos cashed out our youngest DD's college account. He's paid me the minimal amount of child support he can(my state went to the income comparison vs the flat percentage so it is probably correct by this point - one kid left under 18) and has not paid his half of expenses in years. I do not think that my ex truly believes he is the cause of his situation but rather it is all due to the fact his industry (investment industry) has been largely commodotized with markedly fewer jobs than years ago...the stupid little woman has done everything "right" in her career meanwhile and my bonus alone is 3 times his most recent base salary and YES I AM SMUG about it I don't care if I sound vindictive - I own the fact this asshole at one time would not give me the password to my own stock account so YES I'm gloating LOL. Nothing is his fault of course, "life has not been kind" to him and I am also of course remarried (DH has a very nice career also...and we keep our finances totally separate) so share household expenses. 

My ex and I have never been to court - we saved on legal fees and figured it out ourselves with the help of my high school friend (attorney) and my dad (also attorney). The only intelligent financial decision I've seen him make. First 2 kids are junior and freshman in college - so far he's paying his half of their living expenses (all three had a prepaid tuition package which has paid off hugely for first 2...but youngest no longer has that) but month to month we never know if he'll pay them. He has tried to get me to 'just cover' for him - no f-ing way. My response was, I am sure the kids will let me know when their father stops paying - he can then face his kids and admit what a failure he is, not that they don't know. I have saved enough in a 529 plan since the promotion that I can pay for DD15's college myself but why should I have to!? For the first time I WILL take him to court if in 2 years (the account was marital property, and he stole it) when she starts her college application process he totally defaults - he 'promised' to pay her college when he cashed out her account 18 months ago but the fact is he cannot possibly - the math doesn't work.

I hate people who make excuses and blame others for their own stupid choices - the world is full of them. I don't care what my ex does as long as it does not impact me - but unfortunately it is going to very soon. I will have to pay everything simply because I can and that idiot will just continue making excuses - he is less than a man as far as I'm concerned. 

Wish I had advice for you but I'm commiserating instead Good luck to you. Your kids know who is the responsible parent and who is a lying irresponsible turd, trust me - mine certainly do! And congratulations on your promo!

We aren't married but BM in our situation seems to believe that a) SO should pay 100% of kid expenses and then some of BMs because literally birthing the kids is all that should ever be required of her and b) that my income happens to be SOs and thus fair game.

I'm not sure if that means she thinks I'm a kept woman and don't make much of anything or if she somehow knows that's not the case and that SO and I pull down very similar salaries.  

She has more than once commented about how SO needs to cover her responsibilities because we "are a two income household." 

She refuses to negotiate necessary updates to custody orders without lining her pockets beyond income shares calculations.

She routinely tells SSs that they can no longer do x,y,z because "daddy won't give me money."

She tries to nickel and dime SO on every thing SHE chooses to do.

She's exhausting.  But at least all I have to do is deal with her indirectly from afar rather than be her.  

Water off a duck's back, Mrs. M.  He can think (and be dumb enough to share those thoughts) whatever nonsense he comes up with re: finances and his responsibilities towards his kids.  Doesn't make it so.  

YOU will never be able to change his thinking.  (Someone he's not harboring resentment for may not be able to either).  Just keep your side of the street clean and know you're not alone.