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Quck question~ anybody else have or dealt with a SK who beats/ hits the dog?

MarriedwithChild's picture

I'm not sure how to begin here and this is not even my own child but he is due back here in a day so here goes:

SS5 will "sneak" behind DH's back (who has never even touched him) and beat the living shit out of the dog. No kidding. We both have 'brought' this up to him but ss5 puts on his sad face and just says, "I don't know, I won't do it anymore" (insert toddler voice)

As soon as dh turns his back, "boo-yah" upside the dogs head and I just stand there floored. Of course he does this in front of me and NOT DH. What's his problem? To top it off, he KNOWS what he is doing yet shows zero remorse for hurting the poor dog.?!

SS5 is going through hell lately with his BP's but he began this crap a long time ago. Zero emotion. Throws hard objects at the dog too. (SS5 has another dog that lives with he and Stalin) and has had this dog here at DH's (this dog has been with him since he was born.)

Zero emotion.

What does this exhibit? Yes, I know he needs therapy but I have no legal right to admit him, per se.

Anon2009's picture

Google information on career criminals, show it to DH, and insist that if he wants to remain married to you, that he must get his son counseling.

Or, take the dog and do a trial separation from DH. That might help him open his eyes.

MarriedwithChild's picture

.........

starfish's picture

sorry, but i don't give 2 shits about that little fuck beating a dog --- i don't care if he's only 5.... the safety of the dog would be my first concern....

secondly, i would be telling ss5 not to worry about the teeth i just knocked down his throat, they were just baby teeth, new ones will grow in ~~ maybe... ok, i wouldn't do that, but i would want to!

don't mean to be so hateful, but i am an animal lover and not so hip on skids...

sm27's picture

Every time you see SS5 near the dog, remind him that since he doesn't know how to be nice to the dog, he is not allowed within x feet of the dog. Protect the dog, and do not allow SS to play with him until he knows how to care for him.

MarriedwithChild's picture

Starfish....ummmmm, as you know- so am I but do I just take someone elses dog away?

Listen, betwwen you and me this kid (my own kid for that matter) would not be sitting on his arse for a month. wtf, you know?

starfish's picture

i would lock it in my room when dhs demon was around....... if not that, i would watch the little shit like a hawk when the dog was aorund and when he went to hit/kick or whatever to the dog i would snatch him or scream or something...... then i would tell him that abusing animals is against the law and ask him if he wants the policeman to come take him away........ but i already hate this little kid knowing he hurts the pup!

MarriedwithChild's picture

Crayon~ There you are. Thanks.

This is the odd part, ss5 is too smart to get caught on a cam! Yet he acts like an infant when talking or doing NORMAL things like wiping butt, tying shoes, etc...and the 'look' he shoots my way with his eyes are alarming.

He knows what he is doing yet daw-wee and Stalin think their passive parenting worked best? (co-sleeping and babying.)

I have no legal ability here except to diagnose and protect myself and this poor dog.

Starfish~ I would babysit animals (really) before kids. (just be honest here.)

TheWife's picture

I am not being funny, I am dead serious...

Isn't abusing/killing animals one of the early childhood signs of future killers/psychopaths?

This kid needs help BAD.

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

glynne's picture

We had a similar problem when SD was young with the cat. Fortunately, the cat has claws and teeth and that made SD wary. And she never hit the cat - just would trap him, corner him and tease him. I took the problem to DH and she was restricted from the cat and we had to monitor her behavior. Today, she has other behavior problems but is good with animals.

I just think that these kids feel so powerless in their situations that they act out in every conceivable manner. I'm not excusing their behavior just trying to understand it.

Glynne

herewegoagain's picture

You MUST put stop to it and protect the dog. Until that kid can treat animals with respect, he should NOT be allowed in your home. The dog WILL at some point grow tired of it and bite him...and then it'll be the dog's fault...DO NOT ALLOW IT...if you have to put the dog in a kennel, in a room, anywhere so that this kid can't get anywhere near him, DO IT AND DO IT NOW! You WILL end up losing your dog for the poor parenting choices of your DH and the mother...PROTECT YOUR DOG!

TheOtherMom's picture

We went through this at that age with SS9. He pulled on the cat's tail all the time.
DH pulled his hair and said "how do you like it?" ... I think that might qualify as abuse but it worked.
At 5, they are still learning to empathize.

Anon2009's picture

I agree with everyone else here- you need to protect your dog. He needs you to defend him. I think Crayon has a great idea regarding hidden cameras. You need to do something before your dog bites him.

With all that you have had going on recently, are you sure that you want to stay in this situation? It doesn't sound like this situation is healthy for anyone. Have you considered joining AA and/or getting counseling for yourself?

unhappy2happy's picture

OMG I would be so worried.. I would get him to a counselor faster than your poor dog can run.. Something is definitely seriously wrong.. Keep your poor dog away from this child.. or give the dog to a new family.. I am serious here...

Plus what if the dog retaliates and does some serious damage to the child...

And either parent the father or the BM. has the legal right to seek help for their child...

sad4kidswwackassstepmoms's picture

I'm a child psychologist so here goes; Yes it is a problem, but no he won't turn out to be psychopathic over this one issue. He is simply tranfering his feelings toward the animal. He needs something to control, since he can't control the grown-ups. The best thing you can do is read social stories to him about proper pet ownership (children's books). Remind him about his responsibilities toward keeping the "family" pet safe and free from harm. Then ask DH do discuss the issues of hitting, wether he wants to confront the child hitting the dog or not is up to his discretion, but having a discussion about hitting (seperate from the story) needs to occur. And then leave the situtation alone. The more attention it is given, the more of a problem it will become. ALso, keep the dog away from the child for a while. Decrease the opportunities the SK has in possibly hitting it. Don't make any excuses on this one either, otherwise, its likely that you are wanting negative attention derived toward the SK with consequences at any expense. Try not to desire that the childs problems be exposed, this will not make things better even though you my secretly want them to be. Do your best to prevent the opportunities the child has to hit the dog as best you can. Accompany that with the social story and DH discussion. It should stop.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

DPW.... I was quite surprised that a child psychologist would write "good writtens" ..... I was guessing she meant good RIDDANCE? Wow is right!

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

So you're a member for 3 hours and throw out your education and job status to boost your own insecurities?

onehappygirl's picture

Apparently your title does have something to do with your words since you are constantly reminding people that you are a "child psychologist."
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

onehappygirl's picture

Sorry, DPWB - I was responding to the village idiot - not you, sweetie.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

Amazed's picture

I don't see the point in announcing "i'm a child psychologist" at the beginning of new comments? Who gives a shit if you're a child psychologist or frickin Caesar Milan for the dogs??? who cares?? really? Maybe the statement, "I'm a child psychologist." would hold some weight if you weren't acting like a complete fool in the company of total strangers.

Fuck people are irritating today.

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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

onehappygirl's picture

Fer real! I'm going to point out - I'm a legal secretary . . . .

It's like saying "I'm an actor, but I play a doctor on TV . . . "
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

Amazed's picture

Well Golly Gee...I'm a licensed Surgical Tech as well as a Certified Radiographer with a Masters Degree in Bitchology. I was also a double major at my Ivy League School of Bitch.

Aren't we all so proud of me??? *snort* for fucks sake.

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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

NachoMama's picture

If either one of my SS were to lay one hand on MY dogs....I would beat their asses black and blue!!!! There is no call for that! My dogs are my kids and I would take that VERY personally! I already want to throttle SS11 for yelling at them....what can I say? I love "MY" kids!

LValleyGirl28's picture

I'd jack his ass up, MWC! No joke! Grab him by his shirt, sit him down and ream his ass out. DH or no DH around.

My SD7 had "space issues" with animals. At one of her babysitters, she stuck her face in the cat's face while it was eating. Needless to say, cat flipped out, bit her on the face and scratched her. According to the babysitter, SD getting too close to the animals was a common occurance.

A month later, she stuck her face in her grandfather's dog's face while he was cleaning himself and he bit her on the forehead.

We were just about to bring home my furbaby chocolate lab pup that week. The night before pup came home, I sat SD down, in front of DH without any warning to him, and read her the riot act.

I told her no way shape or form was she to EVER go near the pup while it was eating or drinking. A pat on the back or a rub on the head was okay. And she was NEVER to make fake puppy crying noises or bully the dog.

What do you think she tried to do the second weekend pup was home? We had EOWE visit and she was in the living room playing with the pup while I was washing dishes. DH was working on my car. She started the fake pup crying noise and burying her head while pup tried to dig her up. The pup bit her on the ear and SD WAILED.

I grabbed her by the shirt, put her up against the wall, looked her dead in the eye and told her if she EVER did that again, I wouldn't stop it and she'd be grounded from the dog and every toy she had for a year.

Since then, not one incident of dog harrassment has occured in our house.

Mean, maybe. Necessary, ABSOLUTELY.

JACK HIS ASS UP, MWC!

Marie09's picture

OMG poor dog! My SS8 loves my dog (I say my b/c it was mine before I met DH), but SS5 has been caught pushing him and grabbing on him. And I come down hard on him. My dog is 90 lbs German Shep but he is getting older and recently had a torn ACL and when SS5 pushed him, I saw red b/c I just paid $2500 to get that fixed and DH stood right up and support me. SS5 was immediately punished and everytime he tried to play with the dog for the rest of the day, I called my dog over to sit by me and told him he couldnt play with him. I dont think I'm being mean to SS5 but I'm not gonna let ANYONE hurt my pet.

I think your skid sounds more severe. And that sounds like a cry for attention/help. I cant beleive your DH doesnt seem alarmed!

JMC's picture

Stepkid or not, ANYONE who even trys to lay a finger on my furbabies, or anyone else's animals for that matter, in a threatening way I will personally knock them out! My SD18 is always trying to abuse the in-laws lab & saying she hopes the dog dies because she can't stand it. We recently got a parrot and SD18 told us that her little brother (not DH bio child, thank heavens!) killed BM's pet bird by stomping on it and hiding it in the closet. I about flipped out! This kid used to come visit us but I don't want him in my home if there's a chance he'd terrorize my pets.

Silver's picture

d

Lilly's picture

He sounds like he has anger problems, but in no way should he be touching that dog

Maybe he needs counseling, he knows what he is doing is wrong.

My ss hit my dog, did not hesitate and slapped him one. I had a heart attack, and told him the next time he lays a finger on my dog I would hit him the same way (sorry not good parenting but it worked) I think Ss and BM hit their dogs because he said 2 of his dogs bite. The usually do when they get hit.
Funny thing is my dog does not like SS, can you blame hinm?

zero tolerence for aninmal hitting, I would suggest counseling since he is only 5