My relationship with my SD8 is strained, at best. Needless to say, for my DH and DDs sake, I continue to try and improve upon it and be as tolerant as I can. SD8 is, after all, just a child, and a blood relative to my two DDs (ages 5 and 1) and they deserve to know their sister.

SD8 lives with BM and SD who are both assholes, plainly and nicely put. Anytime DH is home and calls SD to say "hi", SD makes the rounds talking to most everyone including me. BM has "complained" to my DH that I don't need to talk to SD8 when he calls because that's supposed to be "his" time and she doesn't want ME wasting her "cell minutes". Whatever. This mentality does nothing but further alienate SD8 from me and DH and we are desperately trying to keep that from happening.

My question is this: DH and I have contemplated buying her a cheap, pre-paid cell phone programmed with our home number so that SD8 can call us when she wants to. Granted, she's only 8 so this is a bit ridiculous but SD8 rarely gets to talk to DH or myself because we never manage to call at a "good time" - even though we call when instructed to. SD8 is either eating, taking a bath, doing homework, outside, climbing the walls, fling to mars...she's always unavailable to come to the phone.

Has anyone else encountered this and what did you? We're concerned BM won't allow SD8 to have the phone we give her but don't have any other options or ideas at this point. If SD8 has a cell phone that we provide and we pay for, we (both DH AND ME) should be able to contact her when we want. I don't care if BM "monitors" the phone - it's not about circumventing the BM and trying to be sneaky. It's just about having access to DH's child and BM is getting in the way of that.

My DD13 has a cell phone and her BD exclusively contacts her on that. DD13 also uses my cell phone sometimes to chat with her SM or BD which is fine - we all have a good relationship, so this doesn't seem odd to me (the idea of contacting the child, not the parent), but my DD is also 13, not 8.