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Question: When should we step in and call CS

sella35's picture

Submitted by sella35 on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 12:55pm

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General Discussion

I have been living with my boyfriend 9 months. We get his son-2 every other weekend. In 9 months there has only been one weekend that the son hasn't had "something" wrong. He is either sick, rashes, bruises, black eye, burn on arm, cuts on forehead, one time it looked like a cig burn on his cheek and she said he fell and scratched his face. Their is always an excuse as to why he has something wrong.

I began taking pictures of him about 5 months ago. The moment we walk in our house, I look him over and click the camera. But I am wondering how long we should keep documenting this? It might not be child abuse as much as neglect. The BM has 3 other young kids, and will claim the girls hurt him or did this or did that. And he is a 2 year old all-BOY. So I know he is a handful.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks!!

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 1:06pm

Has your boyfriend spoken with his ex about his concerns? Its one thing to assume that she will give those excuses, but its another to actually have her explain...and should it get that far, the conversation may come in handy when/if the call to CPS is made.

lm862003's picture

Submitted by lm862003 on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 7:21pm

I would absolutely fall on the side of caution and call child protective services. It is our job to protect our children from harm's way above all else.

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Sat, 02/26/2011 - 8:00am

I would advise you to tell BM that you concerned enough to call CPS in case there's some bullying going on somewhere, let her know you are keeping 'track' of things. Sometimes just the risk of being found out/prosecuted can stop abuse! As long as you are not saying anything to some people the longer they think it's OK to continue doing something wrong. This is a precious little boy here, one who deserves to live free of cruelty in any form, his sisters do not smoke cigarettes? right?? I really would not like to hear of this child growing up totally emasculated and beated down. Can you take custody of him one the proverbial 'shit hits the fan'?

Stupid's picture

Submitted by Stupid on Sun, 02/27/2011 - 2:08am

If someone else call CS on BM and it comes to light father new about abuse his rights could go out the window. When you do call CS it needs to be prepared very carefully. Get in touch with your attorney. They may try to advise against this but you need to tell them what you want and if they are not comfortable representing you, you need to know now. If you need to change attorney it maybe for the best anyway. Cover all your bases. At Least the ones you know of there will always be surprises. Inform on CS on a extend weekend you have the SS. Make a excuse why you want him for a 3or4 day weekend. Monday is best that way you don't have everyone leaving early on Friday and nothing gets filed. Sweetie you need to make sure this is what you want to do. You are putting FDH and son in a world of trouble. If there is abuse this doesn't meant BM is out of the picture. She will have to jump thought hoops for awhile but that is all. This needs to be his decision he is the one that will have to live with the fall out. You can always walk away. You need to never be alone with SS ever again. at least until he can speak for himself. Her first response will be "You did that" are you ready for all this?????