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The Ramblings of SD

Lemon65's picture

Yesterday, SD11 informed SO and I that she is working on some choreography that requires her to stand on her toes, so she is going to get ballet pointe shoes for Christmas and learn how. Mind you, she has never taken any dance classes - she just likes to make up dances for fun. I tried to expain to her that Pointe isn't something you just learn, that it takes years to work up to and is physically demanding. But she's convinced she's going to learn on YouTube. I guess when she injures herself, I can say "told ya so".

Later at dinner, she was telling us about how BM and Stepdad want to retire in Hawaii (not sure how they will afford to do that on one salary). She then said that Stepdad would really like to move there right away, but they won't because they know that SO wouldn't want to have to move there, too. I really hope that they didn't actually mention SO in that conversation - what makes them think that he would follow them anywhere? We have a life here! I couldn't help myself, so I told her that realistically if they were to move away, she would have to visit during summer and holidays.

Where does she get these ideas???

fourbrats's picture

and haven't been on pointe shoes for about 23 years. My feet are still a mess. I have a knee injury from falling during an audition. And this was with proper training. I started pointe at 12, which was a bit early but I started dance at 2. 

The pointe shoes would be a firm no from me. In fact I would be tempted to throw them away if they came to my home (and I don't do things like that). They can cause permanent damage to your feet and there is a lot more that is needed to mitigate some of that harm like proper stuffing, breaking in the shoes, a proper floor, moleskin covers and so on. 

icanteven's picture

First, I am concerned that they will buy her pointe shoes without formal training. She will get hurt. I danced for many years and it was a lot of work before I could go en pointe. This is huge milestone for any dancer, and as you are aware, she will not learn this on YouTube. I am concerned that her parents are encouraging this. It is not healthy for her, as you said.

Second, I would not be surprised if your SO's ex mentioned him in the conversation about moving. My husband's ex tried to make us move to a place that would be horrible for us, and she said to him (in email, so I saw it), "icanteven can move there. She does not have to be [the type of scientist I am]. There are jobs there for [a different type of scientist]. What was her PhD in again? She could teach! There is a community college there." I wanted to drive to her house and kick her in the head! How dare this unemployed idiot make suggestions about my career, or expect me to follow her to her nothing hometown in a place no one has ever heard of, at great cost to me, my kids, my husband, my career, everything! I told him to tell her how crazy she was for saying these things. He did not. He said (lied), "She just got tenure at her lab. We can't move."

My point is that yes, these things do get mentioned, and it is maddening! I also know how annoying it is to hear about the big plans and crazy schemes of people without the means or the insight to make it reality. It is actually my ex who does that sort of thing. He once talked of moving to Australia and said that the only problem he saw with that was that the seasons are different than they are in the US where I live, not that the plane tickets for the kisd to visit him would cost 3x what they do now. No, just that they would wear coats in July. That's all. Yes, this is annoying. It is worse when the kids are part of it. My kids bring home the craziest stories from when they visit their dad. "Dad is going to buy me a Jeep and an iPhone." No he is not. You are 10. Just one example. I understand how annoying this is.