Recent Stimulus Checks
I was just wondering your thoughts on how the recent stimulus checks should be dispersed. I feel if you live in a household were both people work (outside job or running the household as a stay at home spouse) the money should be split between both people.
I am mid 30s living with my husband who is early 40s. We have a teenage stepchild and our toddler child living with us. He has sole custody of the child.
A long long time ago, I asked my husband if he should pay more in rent/utilites because his child (before we had a child) was occupying an additional room in our home that I was not able to use. I was proposing to divide the rent by the number of bedrooms which would have been $367 more for him. I made a point to say if he lived by himself with the child (in a two-bedroom) the rent and utilites would be more. . .My husband told me that since he and the child are a "package deal", he should not pay more.
Last year we filed our taxes jointly and when we received the tax refund and subsequent stimulus checks, I sent half of the money to his account.
After the third stimulus check, my husband made a comment that he should receive all of the stimulus check for his child and half of the check for our child because he "buys more" for both of them. (HaHa as I sit here writing this I realized I gave him too much money because he already had half of our child's check).
I sent the money to his account and two days later I told him that I transferred the money to his account. He told me "I didn't need to do that," and he was also "surprised that (I) transferred the money". It's not as though he won't spend the money on the household so I wasn't concerned about 'missing/needing/etc' the money. I did the majority of the household tasks and homework help and it's not as though I don't buy anything for his son.
I was insulted by his comment and I let him know this because there have been more than a few times over the years were he has thanked me for my help with his son because he feels like if I wasn't helping him he wouldn't be able to keep him. I always say I'm sure you would figure it out like the rest of single parents do. . .
Oddly, a week or so later, he asks me opinion on a friend's situation. This friend has been dating a woman with 4 children (none of the children are the boyfriend's) for 3 years and I don't think they live together. He asked for half of the money from one of the checks from the 4 children. The girlfriend was able to get a higher paying job because the boyfriend watches the children for her. I felt he should get what he asked for and so did my husband which I thought was interesting. But maybe that's because it was less money.
There are a lot of ways
There are a lot of ways people can split the finances. and the rules might not apply the exact same way to each situation.
For the Stimulus payments. I would assume each adult would get their "share" of their own stimulus payment to the extent they were entitled to one (assuming you were both entitled to full amount here). Then the children's stimulus amounts should generally go to the parent who is paying the costs of those children. So, for his kid.. he would get "her" stimulus...your shared child.. you would split that.. assuming that you both financially support your joint child equally. I know that can be a bit of semantics thing.. but I would question why either of you would want to be super petty over this.. and should think 50/50 for that would not be unreasonable.
Now... household finances... it depends.. people often factor in relative earning power.. percent of time that the dependents are in the home... etc... If his child is there Full time... or has a room allocated to her full time.. I could see figuring things out so that he pays 100% of his share.. 100% of her share.. and 50% of your joint child's share... while you pay 100% of your share.. and 50% of joint share.. But.. the end result really shouldn't mean one partner is clipping coupons and getting food from the food bank while the other has tons of disposable income.. it's about being fair and equitable with our partners.
For example.. I might not make him pay a larger "percent to total" of the household costs.. plus pay for an extra share as well.. while you might pay a much smaller amount.
Lots of ways that could be split.
But back to the stimulus.. I think it might be nice if you could both as a couple look at the stimulus money and perhaps think of a way of the household getting a full benefit of it.. not one or the other of you making purchases "for yourselves".. but some household need.. a new riding mower.. or fun trip for the family.. new gaming system everyone would enjoy.. etc..
The other situation he gave you is very different. If this guy is providing his GF FREE childcare.. it would probably not be a horrible idea for her to share some of the stimulus windfall with him to keep him happy and not taken advantage of. No he isn't "entitled to a share" just because he watches her kids... but he provides a valuable service to her.. I would be inclined to share this. and it is a windfall for many people.. because a lot of people did NOT lose their jobs.. and in fact may have had fewer expenses like commutes etc.. while in the pandemic.. so if I were this lady I would be thankful I had such a supportive partner.. she needs to be generous.. consider it payment for childcare that is cheaper than she would otherwise be paying.
We have a joint account and
We have a joint account and each have separate accounts. We pay household bills, etc out of the joint account. Our stimulus payments went into that joint account and we agreed together how to spend them - one went to a major car repair and the most recent, we bought living room furniture.
Why quibble over the dividing of the stimulus if it's going to the household anyway?
I was insulted by what he
I was insulted by what he said and how he said it, but maybe I am being petty.
Using your math moron DH's
Using your math moron DH's "logic".... he pays 62.5% of all household expenses as he is genetically responsible for himself, the Skid and half of your shared progeny.
Instead of giving him half of the stimulus, give him zero and back bill him for failing to own his genes, with penalties and interest for his poor choice in selecting BM as a mate.
Are these
Stimulus cheques for each named individual in the house? If you can't agree I'd say you take yours, he take his and then you jointly decide how to spend the children's portion on them. It seems silly of him to say just give me xyz of the child's as I spend more on them.
I'd want to know its not frittered away.
We don't get those payments here in UK but I do get the child benefit each week, and hubby Is fine with that as he knows I'll only spend it wisely on her clothes and extra curricular or if not save it.
We cured the whole bigger house /extra bedroom scenario by hubby (who's very traditional outlook anyway) saying his wage will pay the roof over our heads and all the bills. I then pay food, holidays, birthdays and everything else. It does take a lot of trust and communication but then he knows I'd never hoard money or keep anything for myself.
The stimulus checks are sent
The stimulus checks are sent to the people as they filed taxes.. so if she and her husband filed jointly.. they would likely get one check or deposit that would pay them the stimulus amount applicable for the two adults and dependent children. It sounds like her bank account may have been where the stimulus was sent.. that is fairly normal that is likely where any refunds have gone in the past too.
Your way of splitting the bills will work for some and not for others. but there are a ton of variations that can be viewed as "fair'.
Personally, it seems the most appropriate use of stimulus is for something that is for the benefit of the family as a whole.. not something that one or the other of them blows on just themselves. Of course, if he is paying the lion's share of costs for her child.. I can see him having the logic he did.. but that does fly against what he appears to have claimed earlier when it wasn't to his benefit.
I am reading between the lines here.. but I think there may be a possibility that OP doesn't work outside the home. Unfortunately, that does put her at a disadvantage when it comes to relative financial power in the household. I am NOT saying she isn't providing value and that it isn't "work" to care for your child and home.. But.. that is a risk when you decide to rely one hundred percent on another person to pay the bills. So, in this case.. his logic might be that he earns "all the money" so he deserves the stimulus related to all the financial support he pays for his kids. Now, bear in mind.. in tax this is not a "deduction" which lowers tax on income we earn. This is a CREDIT.. which means that you get this money even if you DON"T make any money.. So, you could make zero income and still get these funds.
I'm going to see the credits in my refund because I had made too much the year prior to the pandemic to qualify.. this past year our income was cut more than in half.. so I will be getting the credits that way.
In the end.. finances do require the love and trust that everybody is working towards the same common benefit. Even when finances are not joint.. and people maintain their own finances separately in a relationship.. there generally are joint financial goals people are working towards together!
We split all expenses. All Refund $$
The stimulus is where it got wonnky. Plus the child tax credit.
We both work full time outside the home. I have no bios he has SD1450/50.
We split cost of mortgage equaly. I do not pro rate for Munchkins room.
We split ALL costs of bills equally. He pays child support, thats on him. He has a truck payment and some other debts, thats on him. He pays his own phone bill as well as Munchkin SD14. I buy what I want for her, and treat her like shes my kid, she treats me sort of like "a parent". Im in my own niche.
Our refund was bumped up 2,000 by child tax credit. We did not qualify fo r earned income credit.
Toxic Troll Bm required that since she was awarded claim rights, she should get half child tax credit. She has not worked for almost 3 years now. And has not filed taxes until stimulus, to get the $$$. Since we claimed kiddo 19-20, we got kid stimulus. Toxic Troll wanted "her half". I gave DH all the kid stimulus and he gave half to TT. The child credit I got my half he got his. And then we shared that with TT also.
She signed the form relinquishing her "claim rights", but we gave her the $$ anyway to shut her the he!! up. She hounded DH for that $1,700 also.
Not going to do that again. We make enough where its not even tempting. And DH recently got a nice inheritance. Plus new administration wants to up the child tax credit and do prepayments and you dont have to work and pay taxes to get it, just have a qualifying child. Theres no way TT will give THAT up. Its part of her master plan of "how to make money and survive without working or putting out any efforts".
So, thats how we roll.