Registering for preschool
This really isn't a big deal and hasn't even become an issue yet. I am just curious on others opinions.
SD4 will be starting preschool in the fall. Registration is going on now. Previously BM stated she would like SD4 registered in our district to go to school with SD8 & BS9. Recently she moved in with her BF in the next city over and is now talking about registering her there. Personally I feel our district is better, but whatever. My question is this:
Our district offers a free preschool program with only about 30 slots. First come first serve. BM's district does not. The cost is around $200/month. The CO says nothing about paying for anything other than CS. DH does have 50/50 custody. DH does pay CS, 1/2 of SD4 dance classes, and has let BM claim SD4 for the EIC for the last 3 years. DH has no problem paying 1/2 the preschool cost, but doesn't it seem like it would make more sense to enroll her in our district when it would be free?
The issue hasn't came up yet. Honestly I am pretty sure I am the only one who has even looked into this. I am just wondering if I should bring this up so that we can register her before all the spots are filled. Do I have a valid argument?
Register her immediately. If
Register her immediately. If GM choses to more her then the cost of moving her is on BM. End of issue. If BM does the right thing and supports registration and attendance in your district then good for BM for being reasonable and doinw what is best for the kid.
I would not even discuss this with BM were I you and your DH. I would just do it then notify BM when SD gets in to the program.
IMHO of course.
I considered this. Trust me.
I considered this. Trust me. I do not like BM, but I have a decent relationship with BM. We do not argue. We get along and for the most part, we all sort of support each other. Every now and then BM gets a bug up her ass and tries to start shit. A couple months ago BM called complaining that we have SD4 too much. Umm.. we have her 50% of the time. Week on week off. Just like the CO states. She called a few days later and apologized. I just worry that if we register her here without talking about it with BM it will start major issues.
Just go ahead and register
Just go ahead and register her. If BM pitches a fit, just have DH tell her, "this is what we agreed to previously; I never got any concrete proposal for a different option and I didn't want SD to miss out on this opportunity."
It is a CLASSIC move for our BM to wait things out and not make a decision until the only option left is the one she wants.
One more thing to think about
One more thing to think about - if your DH has 50/50 custody, doesn't that mean that DH (or you) will have to get SD there and vice versa. Not sure how long of a drive this would be for SD to be in your district vs BM's district.
I'd go ahead and register her. Worse case, you call the school in your district and let them know that BM decided to put SD in a different school. Better that, than SD needing a slot and not getting one, which could be BM's endgame.
Honestly, you shouldn't be
Honestly, you shouldn't be registering her at all. I don't even think you legally can. If her parents aren't figuring this out and stepping up to do it, that's on them. It would stink for your SD if she got shut out of a good program, but it's not on you. Trust me, I've learned what happens the hard way when a SP tries to do too much.
I would encourage DH to get her into the free program.
Bring it to Dhs attention and
Bring it to Dhs attention and let him handle it
They're right. If you start
They're right. If you start now, you'll end up doing it forever. BUT only you can answer if it's worth it.