Always good to welcome a new UK member! Not that many of us here - most are in the US - they tend to come online later in the day. I'm assuming it's you that is divorcing from your DH ? Is it amicable? what sort of relationship does he have with his daughter? You say SD has always disliked you - do you think there is any possibility for a relationship with the step grands under the circumstances? Did you see a lot of them since they were born or babysat them?
Honestly, this is a tough one. Maybe some families can make it work, but those seem like the exception - if your ex-H gets remarried, how will that work? If SD doesn't like you, will she allow it to continue?
If it were me, I'd probably go for a clean break, maybe with a few cards/gifts sent the first year or so, so it doesn't feel like complete abandonment. Of course, all of this is contigent on what your SD will allow.
If my SS ever has children, I swear, I will not get attached to them at all, just to avoid this kind of stuff.
Make a clean break. Nothing good will come out of your maintaining a relationship with kids whose parent doesn't even like you. You're setting yourself up for continued trouble and stress. Go off and enjoy your newfound freedom. If you need closure maybe do one last videoconference with them but a few years from now they won't even remember you so are you worried about their feelings or are you worried about grief and loss for you?
If they were late Tweens or Teens then I would say maintain contact. As young as they are... move on. If they remember you as they grow into their teens and adult years, re-engage when there is no need to go through their toxic womb donor.
Welcome to the site!
Always good to welcome a new UK member! Not that many of us here - most are in the US - they tend to come online later in the day. I'm assuming it's you that is divorcing from your DH ? Is it amicable? what sort of relationship does he have with his daughter? You say SD has always disliked you - do you think there is any possibility for a relationship with the step grands under the circumstances? Did you see a lot of them since they were born or babysat them?
Honestly, this is a tough one
Honestly, this is a tough one. Maybe some families can make it work, but those seem like the exception - if your ex-H gets remarried, how will that work? If SD doesn't like you, will she allow it to continue?
If it were me, I'd probably go for a clean break, maybe with a few cards/gifts sent the first year or so, so it doesn't feel like complete abandonment. Of course, all of this is contigent on what your SD will allow.
If my SS ever has children, I swear, I will not get attached to them at all, just to avoid this kind of stuff.
Why would you want to maintain a relationship
With a SK who doesn't like you ? First you have no rights to someone else child. Second just WHY ?
Make a clean break. Nothing
Make a clean break. Nothing good will come out of your maintaining a relationship with kids whose parent doesn't even like you. You're setting yourself up for continued trouble and stress. Go off and enjoy your newfound freedom. If you need closure maybe do one last videoconference with them but a few years from now they won't even remember you so are you worried about their feelings or are you worried about grief and loss for you?
Clean break.
Clean break.
If they were late Tweens or
If they were late Tweens or Teens then I would say maintain contact. As young as they are... move on. If they remember you as they grow into their teens and adult years, re-engage when there is no need to go through their toxic womb donor.
IMHO of course.
This is tough I am sure.
You sound very nice. Its hard
You sound very nice. Its hard when you have invested your heart freely to your spouses adult kids, little ones.
They are very little....I would make a clean break. UNLESS their mother contacts you. Doubtful though.
I am sorry. Just let it go....