Relationships with ex's family members
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I know this is not SK related but Im just wanting to get opinions on this. I was with my ex for 7 years. We had a very bad breakup and I dont ever intend to even talk to him ever again. That being said, during our relationship I became very close with his sister-in-law. We are still friends on fb and text each other weekly. My SO thinks its odd that I would still want to be friends with my ex's family member. I have known this woman for many years and we have supported each other a lot through the years. I even lived with her at one time. Im just wondering if it would be out of line for me to go to her house to see her since her husband (ex's brother) and kids (ex's nephews) will be there as well.
You know, I'd skip it.
You know, I'd skip it. Closing a chapter. Non-personal quarterly FB posts or emails, fine. Appreciate your ex-SIL's presence during a stage in your life and move on. More? Nah. SO told you he is not comfortable. Believe him. Make new friends and celebrate the new phase in your life.
I see nothing wrong with it.
I see nothing wrong with it. When my skank whore cavern crotched adulterous XW left me for her geriatric Fortune 500 executive sugar daddy her family consistently stayed in contact with me for about 10 years following our divorce.
She never had the marriage annulled and to this day my XFIL tears up when we run into each other. He is fearful for her immortal soul due to her adultery and failure to annul her first of 3 marriages (and counting).
My XILs used to send me a birthday card with $10 in it. That went on for nearly two decades following the divorce. I have not seen my XW since our divorce nearly 25 years ago but I do run into my XSIL and my XFIL&XMIL occasionally. They hug me and treat me like a son which skeeves out my bride when it happens. She did not know them but my XMIL ended up in Federal Prison for embezzlement and the entire family was sued by her employer and agreed to a $Mulit-million settlement which writes them off as trashy people in my CPA brides eyes.
So, since she is not overly comfortable with it, and truthfully neither am I, I do not interface with my XILs except when we run into each other on infrequent random occasions.
I found it almost as hard
I found it almost as hard loosing my ex's family as I did grieving the relationships end. We had a great relationship and I enjoyed their company. My ex and I were on friendly terms when we broke up (and still email occasionally) and I did have a few exchanges with his family but those have dwindled down to nothing now, though I think I am friends with his sister on facebook.
Does the fact that you hate your ex so much must be a strain on your relationship with his sister-in-law and her husband?
Personally I think that you have to be considerate of your current partners wishes. If he is uncomfortable with you being so closely enmeshed with your ex's family then you need to consider if your need to stay in contact with sister-in-law is more important to you than making your partner feel happy and secure in your relationship.
If you and SIL were friends
If you and SIL were friends prior to the relationship I see no issue with it, as long as you aren't socializing with the EX as well. Just go see SIL at her house or meet for coffee. Who cares if she is married to your ex's brother?
But if the ex is the glue that brought you two together, or is what you talk about when you are together, then let this relationship dwindle and die.
I don't see anything wrong
I don't see anything wrong with it. I have a friend who has been divorced for 10 years, but she still goes to visit her former sister-in-law (Ex's sister-in-law) twice a year. We live in the US and the SIL lives in France. They were very close throughout the marriage, and I highly doubt my friend would ever give up that relationship for any man. She has very little to do with her ex, and her ex is remarried, so it's certainly non-threatening.
Like others wrote, if you aren't socializing with your ex, don't worry about it. If it bothers your SO, don't flaunt it until he gets over it. Eventually it will become a non-issue.