You are here

Report cards just came out and I’m FLOORED by teachers comments..Opinions needed

Crazystepmom12's picture

SS13's report card just became available online. It was NOT his grades that surprised me BUT some of the teachers comments! "Works well with peers" and "pleasure to have in class" was wrote by more than one teacher. I almost Choked on my coffee! This Demon Spawn of a SS is the most rude, Disrespectful, selfish, Condescending hateful brat I EVER had to deal with. 
 

So my question is Specially for anyone in the school system. Do teachers sometimes feel they have to write something positive about a kid? I'm sorry I know DH allows SS to run feral and do/say whatever he wants and school will not BUT still! My god I just can't see SS as a "Pleasure" even in his best moods.
 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Maybe that shows that SS has the ability to behave properly but your DH's poor parenting encourages his worst behavior?

tog redux's picture

Teachers do feel they have to write something positive - BUT, some kids do better in school where there are rules and structure, if there isn't any at home.

justmakingthebest's picture

My sister is a teacher and she is not allowed to write derogatory comments. The worst she can write is "sometimes needs redirection" but then has to follow it up with a positive comment as well. It is a joke. 

advice.only2's picture

I wonder if most teachers just copy paste, so it looks like they are giving all the little snowflakes the pats they need. I'm sure it looks good for them with their administration. Or it could just be piss poor parenting, but usually if the kid has poor structure at home, they aren't usually all that great at school.

BethAnne's picture

I think that if more than one teacher is writing comments such as pleasure to have in class then you have to believe that to be the case.

I would imagine that if the teachers were struggling to find positive things to say about your ss that their comments would not be as complimentary or unified. I could see things such as lively or vocal member of class... being back handed compliments but pleasure to have in class seems to me that the teachers like this kid and he is a positive influence in the classroom. 

I go with the others here. This kid acts up at home because he can get away with it or is rewarded for it somehow. 

DPW's picture

All this says to me is: apparently SS can behave in another environment, so he can behave in any environment, right, unless sabotaged?

JRI's picture

We often took kids' friends on vacation with us.  Without exception, they were well-behaved yet the parents were always surprised to hear.  We had the same thing with all 5 of our ferals.  The main negative comments we got were for class clown YSS who often went too far.

Ispofacto's picture

It's possible for a person to have "selective empathy".

For example, bigots.  They may be nice to their friends and family because they see them as "people".  "Others" are non-people, so it's okay to be cruel to them.

It's the same thing with PASed kids.  SM and BD are non-entities.  They don't matter.  It's okay to poop allll over them.

 

strugglingSM's picture

Many grade reporting systems have pre-written comments that teachers can select from a drop-down menu. 

I also feel that many teachers avoid providing real feedback to avoid pushback from parents.

One of my SSs once got these two comments from the same teacher, on the same report card: 

- Student is a hard worker

- Student needs to devote more time in class to doing work

Not sure how both could be the same at the same time...

Rags's picture

Just because a kid is fine at school does not mean that that kid is fine at home. And vise versa.

Do not let DH use the good school report to blind him to crappy behavior at home.

Jcksjj's picture

Even the teachers who have complained about SDs behavior write lots of flowery comments, so I'm assuming its expected, at least in the younger grades. Things like "is getting good at learning when she needs to take a movement break" are I'm assuming closer to the truth but written in a positive manner.

Also, sometimes the report cards seem to have conflicting info with what DH brings home from conferences. 

Thisisnotus's picture

My DD17 has always been an angel in school....always teachers pet...raving remarks each year...etc..

At home she was a complete and totally mean spirited brat.

It was odd going to teacher conferences (after about 4th grade) because I didn't even know the kid they were talking about....she was mean as a snake to her younger sisters...and just all around mean and defiant.
 

As far as skids I have never seen one of their report cards and I have no desire to ever see one. Lol 

ESMOD's picture

My SIL was talking to me about my nephew one day and they said they are lucky because they have a child that "behaves well in public".. in fact, she is a teacher at the private school he attends.. all the teachers were telling her what a joy he was to have in their class etc.. and she was like "Whose child is that?" lol... it's not that my nephew was bad.. but he was more inclined to act up at home.. push back on rules etc.. with parents vs when he was with others.  She said, that she guessed she was glad that the kid was good in public and only was a little butthead at home.. instead of the reverse...haha.

It may well be that he is a perfectly fine kid in school.. may even be a pleasure for them to have in class.. but that does mean that he has the capability of behaving better at home.. yet there is something that is making that more difficult for him.. whether it is lack of parenting, unrealistic expectations, lack of consistency, personality clash, situational issues?  it would be a good point to use the report as a indication to his dad that the child IS capable of behaving better and that dad needs to  work on matching that school behavior to what you see at home.