I'm a fairly low key person.

If I ever LMS the way my PD spouse and SD do I would probably be Bakered.

"Losing it." Perfect tactic. I agree. SD11 is so disgusting that I'm convinced she just plain has a phobia of soap and/or water. She would never take a bath or shower unless DH forces her to go take one. Even though she does take a daily shower (after fighting each time with DH), her room smells so bad that when she opens her door, the stench trails out through the whole house. I think it's because she refuses to wear socks so her feet and shoes smell like ASS.

If there are no bowls in the cupboard and the dishwasher is full of dirty dishes, she will just take a dirty bowl out of the dishwasher and use it. Without so much as even rinsing the dirty bowl! Oh, and getting her to wash her hands--impossible. Dirty fingernails, bitten down to the skin. So gross.

I used to try and teach her but she would just go in the bathroom, turn the water on, and stand there staring in the mirror. Same with the shower & bath. I've given up reminding her to be clean. My efforts haven't worked for 5 years and I don't think I can do anything to change a dirty pig.

Can't wait til she starts having her period :sick:

Fault in your theory...that BM may actually try to use that as a means to keep kids from BD. (Except SM is none fo teh above nor has done anythign like you describe)

BM is not accusing me of being that SM. Lets see what fantastic verbs have been used this week:

Psychotic
volatile, explosive, violent, unpredictable, harmful behaviour

And according to a (obviously SANE ) BM

Why would a parent encourage putting a child (aka SKs - 13 and 14) potentially in harms way especially when the child/children are fearful. Forcing that is abuse anyway you describe or slice it.

(AKA why would she EVER encourage the children to come to our home because its all of the awful things SHE described above - because when the golden vejayjay speaks it MUST be the gospel truth)

FWIW - I barely speak to his kids and we have little to no relationship, they are not allowed to acknowledge my existance, so they don't.

(I am not sure if you post was joking or not. I wanted to add that this was exactly the subject to target this week so your post was ironic)

Ohh, I couldn't do that - consistently! That's how their mother behaves. How could you do it without being blamed for being nuts, Orange County? ...especially if your man left a crazy biotch and truly appreciates your rationality?

Growing up around a screamer/ranter/yeller has made me into a peace-loving lady for fear of looking like a complete ass like my irrational mom. I refuse to be a warden in my own home. I'd rather kick all of them out...catering dad, too...if it came to making me act out of pocket.

However, I DID lose my shit a couple weeks ago with BS9 because of you fine folks here on the board...very controlled shit-losing, but shit-losing all the same. After he did something that I specifically told him not to do (for the 4th time in recent weeks), I screamed LOUDLY and sent him to his room. Then I yelled, slammed 2 doors, barged into his room (without knocking), threw a pencil and paper on the floor and demanded that he write "I will listen to my mother" 50 times.

He was so afraid because I'm always so reasonable...at the end of the 4 pages, he wrote: "I'm the worst kid ever. Sorry Mommy." I said, "And you spelled listen wrong!" I threw the paper down and slammed his door again. Later he came to me all teary...apologized, then hugged me and told me he would never do it again since it was the worst punishment that he's ever had, which is silly since he's only been punished thrice in his life, mind you. LOL

If only he would have known that I wasn't mad at all...I was giggling to myself the whole time. I just had to put some fear in the little fella. And I thank all of you guys for that!

Thanks for the reach, but it's called "leveling," and I'm not so much an advocate for turning around and making myself appear to be the crazy, ranting looney tune…that is saved for BM.
On the other hand, sharing ALL grievances that have a visual with BF (like Sheldon.fan started doing with SD's underwear -- let daddy deal…or filming a Disney dad with his mini-wife and sharing it on the big screen with friends and family) is MUCH more effective, especially when SM delivers the messages with a calm, yet crisp clear, matter of fact tone. Shitty panties and washcloths definitely create a visual.

I WISH I had ranted and raved....screamed and yelled and told those brats EXACTLY what I thought of their behavior. I've been accused of it, anyhow....but I actually begged SO to not go off on SD21 when she lived here. I knew I'd be blamed for it. In the long run, I still got all the blame. With some SKs, NO behavior will ever be "right"....

I've often told DH that nothing changes until I get to that point. I don't do it in front of the kids, but I can't count how many times we have been on the verge of WWIII because of some change that made sense, that DH was resisting. It got to the point where if I wanted a change, I had to make sure that NOT changing was gonna be more uncomfortable than DH confronting whatever and fixing it. I don't like this tactic, as it is manipulative and childish (yes, I pretty much called myself manipulative and childish), but it has been the only method that has worked consistently. Recently, DH has realized that he can't take offense at every little thing I say, and that I should be able to come to him without being prepared for an all out war. He has asked that I just approach him and say my piece and he won't resist p, but will instead take action or address whatever issue. So farm so good, with the exception of one or two times that he forgot.

Well, I've recently reaped the rewards of "losing it" on my own kids with SO here. I flipped out because I had asked a few times for them to clean up coats, backpacks, shoes, etc. when they came in from school. A half hour later it still wasn't done and I just PMS lost it.

Next day, BS8 comes home from school and I hear SO quietly say to him...."Go put your things away before mommy has to come in and yell at you, she'll be so proud of you for doing that without her asking."

I wasn't proud of freaking over something so minor but it helped get SO more involved.