DH has primary residential custody of ss9. It's DH's birthday today and ss9 is being INCREDIBLY selfish. Last year I remember he was the same way. However, last year I sat him down and said "this is your fathers day, be on your best behavior, the day is supposed to make him feel special and it's our job to do that for him". Needless to say, I got a migraine due to the stress of this brat acting like a demon seed and we eventually dropped him off at my mother-in-laws house so DH and I could have some time to celebrate appropriately.

This year, it's just 100x worse.
*A little background. BM NEVER made an effort to celebrate DH's bday according to DH.

A few days ago, ss9 asked if he could go to his moms house to take out her garbage (she lives in the apartment complex neighboring our house) today (DH's bday). Ummmmmmm, ok?!!?

We went camping all weekend with a neighborhood family with which we're close. We got DH a group card and everyone wrote something funny/touching in the card. SS9 put his first name. Thats it.

We got home from camping early this afternoon and ss9 asked if he could call his mother. WTF??!?!!? I have no problem with ss9 calling his mother. However, on his father's birthday, ss9 calls his MOTHER??

SS9 then asked if he could go outside and play with his friends. On his father's birthday??

ss9 goes out of his way to make a card for his mother's birthday and maternal grandparents birthday. I don't get it.

The list goes on and on and I won't bore you with the minute details of it. My husband seems to think at the age of 9, ss9 does not have the emotional/developmental capacity to be thoughtful. I call bullshit. SS9 is just incredibly selfish and it makes me physically ill. Anyone else have this problem? Anyone with a child development background able to give me some insight before I kill this child?