Should I feel guilty that DH doesnt make an effort to see Bio kids more?
I feel bad when the kids come here every other weekend and get upset because they want to see their dad more often. Then the ex made a big deal about how their dad was too busy to see them on one of our off weekends when she suggested to have them call DH and ask to see them. I have done my part, set up times where we take them an extra night here and there when they dont have school but we live out of their school district and DH works at 6am-4pm so its on me to feed them and take them home but I work from home so its a lot for me with 4 kids! THEN when i did plan on taking them an extra night I heard the BM was bad mouthing me to my DH's mother and showing her every email I ever sent her. Pissed me off and i cancelled the extra night. I felt horrible and spiteful and had to call my mom to vent and cry becuase I acted out of anger. DH didnt care that i cancelled. He can see them whenever he wants pretty much but he says he hates talking to BM and would just rather see them on his weekends so he doesnt have to deal with her. Plus we just moved and our house needs a TON of renovations so he is busy doing that when the kids arent here. I guess if he doesnt care than I shouldnt care. I even sent the 6yo cupcakes when i looked up his kindergarten graduation schedule and realized it was the next day! BM didnt even tell him and being a mother myself and a woman we seem to go out of our way to make kids happy. Men on the other hand dont seem to think outside the box. Also, I am not very fond of his children. Can kind of take them or leave them but I still want to make everyone happy.
Just curious if anyone else
Just curious if anyone else feels this way...
omg - you sound like me when
omg - you sound like me when I first got married. Whatever issues or contact/lack of contact with the skids existed before you. Don't try to fix it. You will end up spending tons of time and effort, the skids will take and take, and the BM will resent you, and then you'll end up burnt out and resentful when no one appreciates it anyway. Take a step back, let MIL know that you are supportive of DH seeing the skids during court ordered visitation and don't put anymore thought into it. Let DH figure it out and sounds like he has.
Its crazy but he saw his
Its crazy but he saw his Bkids more when we first got together...every mon and wed and every other Sat and every other weekend. we dated for 6 months before even introducing me to them...it worked out great...this arrangement went on for a couple of years and then she got greedy and wanted more money and took him to court so he had to start working nights and couldnt see his kids on mon and wed nights plus he was sick of going to her house and helping her out...it sounds kind of selfish on his end but he was so mad that she would stoop to this level and take him to court when she knew he always got laid off in the winter. I was also glad that he wasnt going to her house anymore. I did offer for them to come to our place but he just didnt want to deal with her. So now he just takes them every other weekend. I do need to let him deal with it...if he wants to see them more then fine...if not then fine as well...I have to step back...