SS problems
Hi everyone,
ss6 has been getting in trouble, and I'm at a loss for what to do. SS6
Has been stealing things for as long as I've known him ( since he was 3). Things from friends, or from his siblings and hiding them around his room. He has even stolen a toy from my friends son and doesn't seem to have any feelings about this at all. My friend even caught him in the act and it didn't bother him st all. He has been grounded, made to write sentences, missed activities etc. nothing seems to bother him. Fast forward to school, he has taken things from school last year and this year as well. Today I found money in his backpack which he stole from my purse, then today at school he stole money from another student. He again, seems to have to feelings of remorse at all and is not scared of the teacher or his Dad or myself. Has anyone had any similar situation with a child who just doesn't seem to care?
Paddle... meet thieving kid
Paddle... meet thieving kid ass! Lather, rinse, repeat until the message sinks in.
Also, march him publically to school, the neighbor's house, etc... wherever he stole from, to stand publically in front of his victims and take his medicine. He may not show any remorse for being caught but he will in all likelihood show some remorse when his ass is a stinging cherry red color and he is under the hairy eyeball of the public humiliation he will be subjected to having to publically apologize to his victim in front of a large cast of onlookers.
Excellent advice, that way
Excellent advice, that way when BM calls CPS and petitions the court to only allow the DH supervised visitation you never have to have SS at your home again! Rags and his awesome advice about beating children until their asses are cherry red, at it again!
I love everything that Rags
I love everything that Rags says. He's usually right. But for those of us who have CPS sniffing at our doors due to an unstable BM already, it's going to cause more issues than it solves.
Zip, It is about
Zip,
It is about accountability and applying consequences for inappropriate behavior. Say what you want about corporal punishment but when it was a consistently applied disciplinary methodology in families society did not struggle nearly as much with crappy kid behavior.
IMHO of course.
You don't say his grade, or
You don't say his grade, or whether he's having other kinds of problems. I would expect that he doesn't manage social interactions well, given his practice of stealing. It's unusual for a child to be as immune to punishment, disapproval, scolding, etc., and truly not care about how other people feel about his stealing.
I suspect that there are complex emotional, physical and even psychological factors underlying his behavior. I would suggest that you discuss his stealing behavior with his pediatrician, and after a physical examination to assess any underlying medical problems (including vision and hearing exams) ask for appropriate referrals to have a behavioral, developmental and psychological assessment completed. A child behaviorist may be able to work with him successfully, along with treatment of any underlying conditions such as ADD, etc.
In my experience, an already complex situation may be made much worse by assuming that it is simply a discipline problem.
SS6 is just finishing 1st
SS6 is just finishing 1st grade. bM is not in their lives. Hasn't seen them in almost 4 years due to her drug addiction and jail. She has no parental rights, so DH and I are their only parents. Thank you for your advice and I agree, even the teacher thinks there is a definite disconnect there. I really think we need to get this kid help before it gets worse. Nothing we have tried has helped. It's gone from stealing from family and school to stealing money. Also he is obsessed with lighters, he keeps taking any lighter he can find and hiding it in his room... hmmm. I have 4 older bio kids and have never seen these behaviors . Thanks for listening
My best guess? His absent
My best guess? His absent mother has left him craving attention. Any kind of attention, positive or negative. He is doing this because he knows he's not supposed to, and he is doing this because he wants to be caught. Because if he is being yelled at, he is being paid attention to. I'm not a behavioral expert, but if you want to stop negative behavior that is an attempt to get attention, the usual advice is to ignore the behavior as best as you can.
Try paying a lot of positive attention to him when he's not doing this, maybe take him for icecream or something if a week has passed without him stealing. You can tell him you're proud of him for not stealing, whatever. Smother him in attention and affection. Whenever he does steal, simply return what he's taken and ignore him for a few days. Don't hug him. Don't even bother talking to him about what happened. Don't punish him, don't do anything. Do not react to the fact that he stole something. Pretend you didn't even notice, except remove the item from his possession as quietly and secretively as you can. Then do the best you can to completely ignore him without actually letting him starve to death for a day. Don't tell him why. Just don't speak to him unless spoken to, and stick to monosyllables. Get your DH to do the same thing.