SS16 is SUPER clingy opinions???
SS16 who will be 17 next month has ALWAYS been super clingy/needy towards DH. When SS16 was younger he Always had to sit next to DH, follow DH around the house and be in DH face 24/7. DH and BM share 50/50 And I don't believe SS is AS needy to BM as DH.
Now SS16 was one to Need Over abundance of hugs from DH. One when he gets picked up, one when he goes home, one going to bed(normal). Here is the weird shit..SS16 would want two or three random ones during the day. SS16 would/will actively look for DH at random times during the day and then just stand a foot from DH staring at DH waiting for a hug. Also it's not a quick hug but a longer one till DH says "ok I got things to do". If DH has to work long hours or has not seen SS16 for sometime SS16 will tell DH that DH "Owes him" hugs and expects to get them all. SS16 is almost 17 AND still does this. SS16 by nature is not a loving child and only does this with DH. Thoughts on why SS16 is so into getting hugs from DH to this extent??!
This definitely does not pass the smell test.
Time for daddy to set and defend some boundaries on this. If daddy won't do it, you set the boundaries and demand that daddy defend them.
This is most odd IMHO.
Does your DH find this
Does your DH find this behavior concerning?
Think DH just finds it more Annoying
Think DH just finds it more Annoying than anything. DH could be in the middle of doing something to only have SS16 Looming over him till DH stops and gives SS a hug.
So daddy is at his spawn's
So daddy is at his spawn's beck and call. No wonder this kid hovers for hugs. He gets what he wants.
Time for that shit to stop.
Odd
This is strange to me, Definitely excessive. I remember feeling like my skids were clingy too, just always needing DH to entertain them or hanging on him even when they were 13. I just was never like that, nor was anyone I know, so it's really weird to me. The constant hugs though, that's a new one.
Weird. Is this the same kid
Weird. Is this the same kid who would stand a few feet away from his dad making high pitched whiny noises until he got attention? If not, i'm getting the same vibe. The kid definitely has emotional problems.
Yep same kid! Fortunately SS16 no longer does
The high pitched attention noise. Unfortunately it's been replaced by this odd need for hugs. Nothing like having a conversation with DH only for 5"10 SS16 to show up out of nowhere and just "stand Staring" with this goofy smile looking at DH till DH Acknowledges him with a hug. Total Cringe moment
I remember reading that and
I remember reading that and thinking how bizarre! This kid has had emotional issues for a long time. He needs to be in therapy, like, yesterday.
Your case sounds more extreme
Your case sounds more extreme, but my SS was super clingy with dh until he was almost 17. Then he got a GF, and seemed to transfer his clinginess to her. Until then, when we walked anywhere, SS walked so closely to dh, dh had to ask him to back off. In the past few years, one persistent behavior that I think is related is that SS constantly wants to "borrow" his dad's clothes, shoes, bags, etc. He usually wants to just keep them, but dh will get mad or just not let him take his stuff. I think it's unusual that a 16-18 year old would want to wear clothes belonging to a close to 50 year old whose style is pretty much just flannels and jeans. It's almost like SS wants to stay connected in that way.
I don't get it. I cannot
I don't get it. I cannot imagine this kind of thing being tolerated by any effective parent.
For sure, no person in a relationship can allow themselves to be distracted from their mate by this and for sure their mate cannot be displaced by a clingy teen. Heck, not even by a pre-teen or late single digit kid.
The default is likely "but they won't be around/young/want hugs foreverrrrrrrrr"
Nope. Not appropriate for any adult to tolerate this kind of crap.
IMHO of course.
DH train SS this way
That's what happens when you start doing unhealthy things. You are raising these kids to be functioning adults. Not big baby's
Attention Seeking Behavior
That needed to be stopped long ago just continues to morph into new things. My SS10 does this and it is so annoying I want to scream, I can't imagine if he was 16. He was severely neglected by BM (still is) and is extremely clingy & attention seeking. He has lived with us for 4 years, it hasn't improved, he is in counseling & it goes in waves but is this exact stuff. DH ignoring isn't the correct path as this is now beyond age appropriate & he is seeking attention for a reason, get to the bottom of why & address it appropriately. Something emotionally isn't correct here.