You are here

Stealing....... How do you punish?

Unhappy's picture

Good Afternoon Everybody,

So FSD(6) has had some issues recently with stealing. About two weeks ago when it was BM's week FSD stole a bag of change from another kid at school when they set it down out on the play ground. How does BM handle the situation? She has FSD bring the money back to school and give it back to the who ever she took it from. I bet that FSD just threw it away. BM also doesn't say anything to SO and I. We found out when FSD had to go to counceling. Fast forward to the week before last. FSD steals lotion from another kid at daycare during BM's week. We get her the following Tuesday. BM tells FSD when she drops her off at daycare that she needs to give the lotion back and say she is sorry. So what does FSD do. She gives it back to the other little girl in front of one of the daycare teachers and then turns around and steals it out of the little girls backpack again. Plus she also stole a lip gloss out of another little girls purse the same day. Now all the daycare teachers will not let FSD into the daycare when everyone is outside playing without supervision to use the bathroom because they are afraid that she will take stuff out of their purses. At first we knew that the lotion was not hers because of the daycare teacher. We had no idea about the lip gloss until the next day. She was eating breakfast and I asked her where she got the lip gloss from. She told me that another little girl gave it to her. I continued to ask questions until she finally admitted up to stealing it. After she admits up to stealing it she looks me in the eye and tells me that she is already in trouble for stealing so she can't get into anymore for doing the same thing. Really? Thinks again FSD think again. Yet again BM didn't tell SO about FSD stealing the lotion on her week. SO emails BM about this and BM responds with a, "have her write a letter." Are you freaking kidding me? That approach is obviously not working. Whatever happened to punishing? Ever since BM has put FSD back in daycare a couple of weeks ago they have been experiencing behavioral issues with her This has only been happening on BM's weeks. So the punishment that SO and I came up with was FSD had to go to bed an hour early every night including the weekend and didn't get her movie in bed on Friday and Saturday. She has also been told that the next time she does this during our week she will not only have to return the item that she took but she will also use some of the money in her piggy bank to buy another one of what ever she took, she will be grouned again for the entire week, and she will be driven to the police station to have a little chat with a police officer.

BM got fiered last spring from a great job for stealing from one of her clients so I wonder where FSD gets this behavior from. What do you guys think? I think it's just nuts. I got caught once stealing when I was 5 and my step mom made it a point to show me that was wrong and I have never done it again. What do you guys think about FSD(6) doing this? I just don't know. It freaks me out. It's like she just doesn't care. What do you guys think a good punishment for stealing is?

snoopyinoz's picture

Start taking her things and dont tell her. When she qestions where item X is, say, "oh, I took it, because I wanted it." Worked with my SD10 when she was stealing things (only it wasnt from other kids, it was from me) took a little bit, but finally got the point across to her that it is NOT ok to take other peoples things without asking. We also had a friend (who is a correction officer) have a little chat with her. (i know what your all thinking, stealing from her is the same thing, wrong, ect,ect. this was only AFTER DH and I had spoken to her about it, and tried everything else, THIS approach actually GOT through to her)

Unhappy's picture

I think that's a great idea snoopyinoz. FSD has her mothers since of entitlement. She won't like it if the tables are turned on her very much. I'm just not sure if she would get the point. She just doesn't care.

snoopyinoz's picture

Start small, a not so played with toy here and there, and see if she notices, if not, then go bigger, her shoes, hairbrish, ect

gstaff92481's picture

I agree...I think once she sees that the amount of her items in her room in diminishing then she will get the point.

Taking away things she likes is good also. It's like double punishment which I agree with totally!!!

Some kids just won't get the idea and continue to do bad things, but that is the exception not the rule. If FSD ends up being the exception, you and your SO can't say you didn't try!

Also, if the taking of her things doesn't work, a trip to juvi may help. If I'm not mistaken most areas have a program type thing where you can have a officer tour juvi with the offending child as reality check. It may be something to look into.