Tired of SKIDS & BF's Behavior when it comes to the little Darlings!
This past weekend, SKIDS were over at the house & since February we have been taking the EX to court for custody. Yet the EX does no wrong at least not to the point where my BF will stand up to her and set some boundaries.
But anyhow, I had planned a nice get away to Orlando / Disney and wanted it to be all about us, forget ex - seeing as how every weekend that she has the kids that she does not allow them to call us, does not allow them to discuss what happened etc. she has totally brain-washed them w/ threats. So, Friday we mention the whole Disney thing, not sure if we are going because of the weather but immediately BF's daughter age 11 jumps up to call her mom. We asked her what was up with that and she said MOM wants me to call her immediatly if we leave out of the city... BF surprised asked her why she doesn't call him and tell him when they go out of town and she replied: MOM would never allow me to call and tell you.
Second, BM has a new job where she cannot be home in the evenings with her kids. Note her son is on probation and the court order says that he is to be in the house by 5pm w/ his mother and if he is to go anywhere else he is to be with a parent. Yet, BF's ex does not care. Her boyfriend does not even stay w/ the kids. So, I tell BF to call the police since his mom is placing him in a situation where he could be found in contempt and BF teeter totters back and forth, I even told him to contact the Social Services lady who is investigating her residence on another cliam / a claim that her boyfriends ex-wife made. I have even told him to call the attorney but does he? NO.... Then I show his daughter pictures of all the sex offendors in her mothers neighborhood so she will be cautious since her mother is at work and she is down by a canal by herself with her young friend. There are 10 offenders in a 1-mile radius of her house and a lot on her street. I also showed her a picture of her mom's bf's sister "She has blonde hair, looks just like her brother and has a mile long rap sheet" - I showed SD and asked if she knew this Connie lady and she say's "I Don't Know" - that's all she say's now day's. Even when it comes to bad thing's that happened w/ her mother in the past - all I get is I Don't Know... Yet, Sunday she is telling me all about how fun Connie is, yet on Saturday she couldn't remember her name or what she looked like? URGH!
Then BF does the kids laundry before they are sent home. Why? We have never done it before, he also makes sure that the home work is done. I ask him if he will talk to his ex.
Asking her to notify him when the kids are out of town, also to keep Connie a criminal away from the kids and also to tell him what accomodations are being made since she works evenings and it's violating his probation... He tells me no, he is not going to play games it will all be brought up in court. He also won't find out why the kids are lying and playing dumb when it comes to what is going on at the house. It makes me so sick that he is sooo laid back.
Then after the kids went home I talked to him about going to Disney on Friday. I want to take our baby and my son to go there for a Halloween party. But he tells me No, he can't - money is low, blah blah blah.. Any excuse because heaven forbid we go anywhere without his precious little brats.
I am just mad and venting! Any advise?
Julie (31) Bio-Children -
Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.
BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.
Wow
Wow. It sounds like you have a lot of resentment issues. I'm confused. On one hand you sound concerned for your skids, then you call them "precious little brats." I suggest focusing on the skids and showing them care and compassion and nurturing when they're in your home visiting their dad, and wean yourself off of the drama of their life outside the home. It's not your business and worrying about what you can't control is obviously driving your relationship with your BF and immediate family down a rocky road. As far as your BF doing the laundry before the kids go back home, I don't think that's such an odd thing to do. It's called courtesy. I do it--and I can't stand my BF's ex!
I'm in your boat
I am dealing with the same thing. DH won't put his foot down with BM and yet, when he finds out about her not bathing or feeding her children like she should then he goes off and says things.... Im going to do this and that....... But, yet nothing is done. I think he is afraid of what will happen or he doesn't know who to talk to.
As far as the children, we have the same thing. It's yes, then no and I don't know. I think its because BM have grilled them about us and what happens here and tells them they are not allowed to call us or when we call them, BM coaches them on what to say....so they don't want to be involved anymore with this and are tired of games. Its amazing how a divorce can cause children to not be children anymore...
My advice to you is to hang in there and if you see anything suspicious then document it. That is what I do. Hopefully we can afford to get an attorney and nail her. But, until then we have to grit our teeth and deal with it.
for a very long time
my fiance was scared of his ex and that she would take the kids away. i went online and researched the specific things he thought would allow her to get more parenting time. turns out, it took the documentation showing that he would probably win in court if her filed for full custody to make him feel confident enough to tell her no.
things have been MUCH better since he stands up to her. she was trying to keep them in the same roles they took when they were married. after a lot of discussions and frustrations and tears (on our parts), he now stands up to her. funny thing is that she doesn't pull as much crap anymore.