today i caught myself

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i was shopping today in a shopping mall and came across something i know one of the skids would love to have. for a split second i thought of buying it for the skid, with my own money, of course.

then i stopped myself. why buy something for someone who would not give a second thought to you and would not appreciate it.

i put the item back and walked away. i have that much extra money for myself!

it is so good to know i have disengaged this far!

For years I walked through

For years I walked through stores and thought one of the SDs or one of the sgkids would love something. I would buy it and DH would get all the credit. Now it doesn't even cross my mind. The other day I walked through the kids section in a store (since that's where the bathroom was) and realized I didn't even think about the sgkids anymore. Yay!

SugarSpice: Good for you!

I forgot SD's birthday completely this year, until I looked at the calendar for an appointment for DH. I always write everything on the calendar and then DH is responsible for looking at it. Since I disengaged 8 years ago, it's been up to DH to do birthdays, holidays, all of it for his grown kids.

When you are a giving person, such as yourself, it's difficult to not buy something you know they would like; I no longer think about it; but I did go through the stage exactly like you are saying.

It's a good feeling to have control over how you are being treated. It's not easy and it's sometimes lonesome, because we are left out of the loop (comes with disengagement); but well worth it in my book.

Good Job! Keep up the good work.

i never buy gifts for the

i never buy gifts for the skids any more. its all in dhs hands. i buy gifts for my side of the family and he does for his. no longer hurt by ingrates.

i once bought a nice jacket that one sd went crazy over. i bought it on sale so i went back and bought one for her. it was on sale but not cheap if you know what i mean. i learned she later forgot it in a night club when i had not seen her wear it for awhile.

people dont appreciate gifts so i dont buy them any more.

Good for you! I had the same

Good for you! I had the same thing happen this week. I make t-shirts and was making 4th of July t-shirts for my teenagers. While trolling pinterest for ideas I came across a cute 4th of July pregnancy shirt. MSD is prego and I had to stop myself from making the shirt from her. I know it won't be appreciated and in a couple months she'll be back to being rude and hating me.

I still find myself doing

I still find myself doing this! But am much better at it than I used to be. Even if it was something they had been really wanting -
as soon as it came from me, it just wasn't that great anymore. So yes, sometimes I catch myself too... and I pause for a moment... then happily move on...

For years I walked through

SugarSpice: Good for you!

i never buy gifts for the

Good for you! I had the same

I still find myself doing

thank you all for the

been there, done that,

I did it my first year I

i am so over buying anything

Something like that happened

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today i caught myself