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Toxic Troll BM issues threats - Toxic Sunday

CLove's picture

Im not sure what Im looking for right now.

Im calling it Toxic Sunday. 

Toxic Troll thinks something is wrong with her car, that it has a leak. She wanted Dh to look at it for her. He is a BMW mechanic by trade.

He casually mentioned that "working on the exes car is detrimental to his marriage, and he hopes that she can understand..."

Well, the Toxic Troll just exploded with multiple paragraphs of text.

1. Shes telling him that the deal they worked out during divorce is that he will work on her car and not charge labor and she pays his price for parts. If he refuses to work on her car, she will go to court and ask to up the alimony/spousal support. She was paid 300 for 3 years and 11 months. It ENDS this month (finally yay, we will be celebrating!!!) and when she filed 1.5 years ago for child support, she also put on the filing for 500 spousal. The court/judge did not increase it.

2. She also told him that her head injury lawyer can work out the numbers to re-figure what she can get for more spousal support (can she do that? reopen a closed case when its supposed to be ending?)

3. If DH refuses to work on her car, per their agreeement, then she will be "forced" to ask for more child support to pay for car repairs.

- this is the same woman who blatantly texted how she "needed her child support check for her trip to Hawaii" that SD13 was not going on.

- She thinks that her not working (her choice) means the Child Support will go up. Is that true? Nothing has changed on DH's side. No pay increases. She put Munchkin SD13 on medicare for insurance. She was laid off and hasnt gotten any new jobs, nor looked for one, hasnt been working for 1 year and 4 months! She is working on a head injury workmans comp case. So she is out on workmans comp $$. I dont know how much she is getting per month, but she pays her rent of $1,400 and her phone bill and utilities, plus goes on weekend trips.

Help! Honey is stressed and now so am I. Can she get more spousal support and chhild support????

lieutenant_dad's picture

TT can sue you for any and everything. That doesn't mean she'll win. I don't see any judge, one month before alimony ends, telling your DH to fix her car. Plus, unless that stipulation about car work is written in the divorce decree, she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Now, regarding her claim to CS...maybe. Though she *just* got a modification, so I doubt a judge would hear from her a second time so soon. BUT, if she wants to play that game, I'd let her know that she can do as she sees necessary, but you'll have to share the texts from her about needing CS for a vacation that didn't include Munchkin, and that you'd also be asking for her income to be imputed to what she can earn, or at least to what her big fat lawsuits are making her *before* lawyer fees since that is her income.

Or, just ignore her. She doesn't have much of a leg to stand on. She's just trying to scare you. If she does go to court, ask her to pay attorney fees. 

CLove's picture

I told DH that its all BS. But the court threats really scare him. Even when I mention her Hawaii $$/CS.

I did also mention that courts would do the calculation based on what she should be earning...

Its infuriating that she can terrorise him thusly.

Thisisnotus's picture

I would totally and completely ignore her. You said DH is scared of the court threats....and she knows that which is why she does it....and he should never ever go near her car....ever.

Threats from BM to DH in my house 100% stopped when he started ignoring her.

Winterglow's picture

OMG, that is HILARIOUS - increased child support to pay for her car maintenance! BWAAAHHAAAAHAAA!

CLove's picture

That doesnt sound credible?

LOL> yep.

CLove's picture

That doesnt sound credible?

LOL> yep.

tog redux's picture

Why is he so scared of court? They don't just increase payments because the woman wants it.  Personally, I think he needs to call her bluff once and for all. Let her take him to court and take away her power.  

Most places won't let women get modifications every time they ask for one, without a significant change. 

CLove's picture

Its supposed to be 3 years unless something big changed.

She was laid off and is working on a disability claim for head injury.

We just dont know where her money is coming from. But if she DOES go to court, she would have to declare income...right?

Rags's picture

Lol,

She has spooled out far more than enough rope that you can use to hang her in court.

Enjoy her porcine machinations and have fun smacking about the head and shoulders in court with the volumes of material she keeps feeding to you and DH.

Car repairs in a Custody/Visitation/Support order?  Really?    Spousal support and CS are the extent of support unless otherwise ordered.  It is the CP’s job to support themselves and their kids beyond that.

Let her rot.

CLove's picture

I keep trying to tell him - it doesnt work that way, however he is currently paying the low end of CS, and he doesnt want to take chances.

Im like - dude - if car repair is part of spousal in her argument, go with it! Then when that ends so does car repair.

ESMOD's picture

This is typical behavior.  My DH's EX also would threaten court every time she wanted to get something from him.  She actually threatened to take him back to court for "reserved spousal support" if he didn't pay her health insurance premiums a few years ago... literally more than 10 years after we had been married and probably 15 years since their divorce was final.  

In our state you can reserve the right to ask for spousal support.. but there are limits to the amount of time.. and generally they will only provide it for up to 50% of the length of the marriage and with some year limits... she was way outside that.. PLUS had been living with a boyfriend for almost 10 years at this point which was a specific grounds for STOPPING support pmts..

She was just trying to blackmail him into paying her premiums.

She apparently got her bf to give her a bunch of money when they split up so she wouldn't run his name down.. 

She is not a nice person.

I guess I might have some concerns if the amount of time that your state allows for spousal support is longer than what she was awarded.. perhaps the judge might extend in that case.

But.. with her other issues.. it seems that she is just trying to game everything.  I know it sucks.. but he may want to run this by his lawyer...

Of course.. in the end.. if a minor fix to this car is less of a problem for him than lawyer fees.. sometimes we have to pick which devil to dance with.

CLove's picture

If its an easy thing.

But NOW, to me, its the principal of it. Call the stupid bluff, bring the scary monster in the closet out into the daylight.

ESMOD's picture

Honestly, he does have that choice to make.

Die a "death of a thousand cuts".. and allow her to keep and him worried and spun up.. while he capitulates and tries to minimize damage control.. 

OR

He calls her bluff..knowing she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

I would want to know if her threats had any possibility of having any bite.. then I would have to make a decision.

I'm really glad my DH's EX mostly would nickel and dime him for gas money etc... she didn't actually want his physical time or attention.

 

hereiam's picture

He really just needs to face his fear and call her bluff, and by that, I mean IGNORE, not even engage with her about it, anymore.

At this point, she has a lot more to lose by going to court. Extortion charges, for one!

He casually mentioned that "working on the exes car is detrimental to his marriage, and he hopes that she can understand..."

And why is he still bringing you and your marriage into it, begging her to understand?

CLove's picture

I told him - stop bringing me into their discussion.

She called him p-whipped and pathetic after that. Shes "sad that he has to deal with my bullsh!t".

tog redux's picture

Yeah, I agree - he needs to man up and stop making it your fault he won't do it anymore. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Just to answer a few questions

Yes- she can ask for special circumstances to have spousal support continued due to her injury. HOWEVER- going to Hawaii kind of throws that argument out the window. She would have to prove she is financially destitute, people that can go on trips like that are not.

The judge won't award her more CS for the car. It is a calculator. It is what it is. 

As for the car repairs, I don't see how a judge would ever force someone to work on someone else's car. I would think it would put him in a liability situation that he can just say he is no longer comfortable with due to her being so HC. 

HowLongIsForever's picture

The decree should state whether alimony is modifiable or non-modifiable.  If it is the latter, unless she was defrauded its likely a closed issue. 

Since the order is a specified and fixed duration what you'll want to look for is a statement declaring non-modifiable or something along the lines of the court reserving jurisdiction.  If there's something like jurisdiction is reserved to the court it's a pretty good sign they will take up a request to modify. 

If the order is vague and doesn't explicitly state terms are not modifiable, the court could still extend it even without the jurisdiction statement.  

If it turns out it is modifiable that means it goes both ways, either party can request a modification but you have to have (legit) grounds.

I don't think bitchy or butthurt qualify.

Let's roll with having a legitimate reason.  If it was due to her inability to work then that should've come up oh way back when her work situation changed.  If she's not making the move to or the case for disability then she's probably not going to have much success saying it's because of the inability to work that she discovered 18 mos back.

Without an order or declaration (of the medical variety) stating she cannot work, her decision to remain unemployed isn't going to go in her favor, either.

As for the car repairs - unless there is specific verbiage in the decree to deviate from child support and alimony calculators for free labor car repairs, she will have a tough time arguing that was a consideration and that modifications need to happen because he is no longer willing to repair her car for the cost of parts, regardless of why that changed for him. 

Your DH may be triggered by her nonsense but he needs to be realistic about her threats.  From the sounds of it she doesn't have grounds.  If she stumbles upon a successful rationale to petition, she doesn't sound like she will be able to make much of a case.

From what you've shared here there is nothing in their decree that legally makes him beholden to her for the rest of their natural lives.  No matter how much she may shriek that there is. 

Your DH needs to read through his decree to understand his actual obligations and educate himself on the laws re: alimony in your state.  He doesn't need to do anything else unless/until she petitions the court.  No sense in borrowing trouble.  If he educated himself on his situation, though, her rantings would have much less power over him.

 

 

 

 

CLove's picture

His Divorce Docs.Thats what I need to do, Im realizing. I have copies that are filed away, but I cannot find the section that I recall being there that detailed the last month. BUT I SEE it in a memory bank, March 2020. I may have to take a vacation day and go with DH back to courthouse to get copies and get some questions answered.

However, we used a paralegal that he was referred to, and I THINK that it was unmodifiable. I will definitely check, thanks.

 

The thing that makes it even a question is that for the last 1 year and 4 months, she has been "working on a case" against the school ssytem for a big payout/settlement, so she might be able to prove that legitimate reason for extension.

But can you even extend it if its DONE? I guess that would be the crux of things.

HowLongIsForever's picture

If it was a concern she would've petitioned when it started.  It's not like, if its somehow modifiable, that its retroactive.

They're going to ask why she waited so long when she knew practically a year and s half ago.  If that's her case she wouldn't have waited so long and her habitual musical housing game (along with the rest of her financial prowess testimony) wouldn't have existed until her claim.

They're also going to want proof of her inability to work, something more than her disability moonlighting in alimony attorney's statement.  She received a workman comp settlement previously, right?  So is the permanence new info after settlement or did they all acknowledge that WC money was for a limited injury/temporary situation?

Career/livelihood ending work place injury doesn't typically equate to $50k one time pay outs.

Let her huff and puff and f#ck right off.

If your research suggests she has an ability to modify, make moves to remove your financial support from being joint.  It's not unheard of for wife to support husband so he can support his ex rather than the state having to.

But I still think she's foaming at the mouth because that's what rabid bitches are good at.

Don't panic, just do some research and go from there 

 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Clove, have you been keeping a record of the days you and DH have Munchkin? I know there have been several instances where you've had her in excess of the CO.

It's a simple yet useful bit of data to have for court. If TT asks for more $$, your SO can counter with the fact that he's already providing additional support since had his daughter ____ extra days in the past six months, year, or whatever. Judges don't like lying drama queens.

CLove's picture

Plus notes, and screen captures of her asking for "her" child support check for money for hawaii vacation. Plus notes on money DH spent on Munchkins new-ish digital camera, as well as $$ spent on new shoes and bras a few weeks before handing over the Child Support check. Logs about when Munchkin missed school to go apartment hunting, or when she kept her home because "she felt like it".

Ive been keeping track since December, because I knew that she would start causing problems and making threats. I felt it, like an icy hand on the back of my neck.

PLUS I told DH "do not ever give her extra days with Munchkin!"

tog redux's picture

Maybe if BM files for more support, DH should file for full custody. You have a lot of evidence that TT is an unstable parent.  Two can play the court filing game. 

CLove's picture

My question on that is - I thought you have to file for a custody change BEFORE Child support modification???

tog redux's picture

Around here, they are two separate courts entirely and have nothing to do with each other. So the petitions would be completely different.  When you divorce, they set the CS, but after that, you petition whichever court deals with custody vs. child support to make changes. 

Rags's picture

In SpermLand where our CO was issued CS and Custody were ordered during the same hearing in family court.  Modifications of CS were dealt with in Admin Law Court.

Thumper's picture

Isn't that court case settled---her injury case?

Its time your dh only use our family wizard. STOP with the messages back and forth. It would stop this crazy stuff.

Well maybe again is wont but it IS worth a try. jmo

Hey were is Hatchet man?

Edit to add...I know your worried Clove,,,(((HUGS)))))

 

 

 

CLove's picture

Im going to post "Chronicles of Toxic Troll vs Machete" tonight!!! Stay tuned!

 

CLove's picture

Supposedly she got SOME kind of payout.

Supposedly she is still getting some kind of money somewhere we know not where.

Supposedly she is working on some kind of settlement. 

I cannot get the true story from DH as he knows nothing except what Munchkin tells him and she doesnt get the straight story.

CLove's picture

Thank you.

Biggrin

This too shall pass... only 4 years and 3 months to go...

Booboobear's picture

DEADBEAT BM!!  sucks         but hey! its been over 10 years since the last "cs" check was paid and DH hasnt spoken to her since.  and I get the good husband.    there is light at the end of the tunnel