For almost 11 years my ex has been out of the picture. The first 5 years were spent in Prison, in another state. I didn't know what a loser he was when I met him and as his mom and him both said - They put on a good show

Anyhow, he has been partying, living it up, getting arrested all of the time and this was around a year and a half ago. In that time he got a younger girl pregnant she was 22 and he was 33 at the time. So, now that daughter lives in another state and he is in the same state we live in, has been since he got out of jail 7 years ago.

Well, for the past year and couple months he has not been arrested, he seems to be doing very well for himself on his ebay transactions, he hasn't had any wacko's harass me but lately, even as of last year he is wanting to know our son.

For 11 years he hardly paid any child support and was always too involved with himself to care about his son. He lived with his mom and she has moved away but still allows him to stay in the house - 20 minutes away from me. So, last year I just pushed him hard with child support and he left us alone until recently in Oct. he made a purge payment and has paid every month on time, I told him if he proved he could pay on time for just 1-year I would work on his arrears. Seems fair, right.. Well, for X-mas he went all out for son, even came to see him on X-mas Eve. Also spent some time with him a week later when another gift came in.

But now he wants to see our son tomorrow at the Fair. My son doesn't want to go alone, he is 12. So, I said I would go and drop him off and be at the Fairgrounds so if he needed me, to just call and I would be there in a sec. well ex didn't appreciate me going but I told him why I was going. He called our son a wimp, said I should insist his father's presence in his life and it's my fault that my son is so insecure being around him. He complains my son plays video games to much, is angry that he is not in sports - but heck the man has not even been around. And my son isn't really that interested in sports. He has a lot of friends, is popular but not a sport addict. He loves fishing, hunting & playing video games.

But I just don't get why Bio dad is now concerned and wanting to be involved. It's a headache. My son doesn't even want to see him but I am trying to remain focused and positive - sort of going along with him, just so he will see his dad and the court battle won't begin.

Am I wrong for doing this? Should I just tell him that my son really doesn't want to see him and see how he proceeds?

I had enough going on with SKIDS who are driving me insane with there neglectful mom. Now I have my ex, becomming a thorn in my butt. Sometimes I think by allowing him time to see our son that it will get it out of his system and he will just move on, but instead it makes him want to see him more.

And then his daughter, she is 2 - He doesn't even have anything to do with her. And I think he is only interested in our son because he is dating a girl who has kids "The guilt factor", his buddy has kids our son's age "another guilt factor"... I know this because BF became the same way when we got together - before that he really wasn't involved with SKIDS. Plus, I think my son's father think's of him as a buddy type - you know someone he can give advice to and be a father too.

So, what is your input? Let me know I would love to hear it because right now I am thinking about calling off tomorrow's visit. I just don't have the time for it and don't want to roam around the fair by myself worried if Bio-dad is feeding son with lies "as to where he has been" because he loves to make me out to be the bad person, yet I haven't seen him say anthing in that nature to our son it's still a possibility. Then my mom keeps filling my head with "what if he takes him, steals him" blah, blah, blah... Of course that worries me. My instints don't feel that he would ever do this, but you never know.

So love to hear your advice. Thanks

Oh and by the way regarding SKIDS I have decided to buy a calander and keep track of all the days that we have them, hours and extra things that come out of our pocket while BM get's her weekly check and fails to be any sort of mom. So, later when BF finally decides to file, I will have all of the backup info. Good idea, huh?