Validated
I went to SS10s school for the first time this year recently. I put it off for about 5 weeks because I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be. Usually it’s honky dorky until that dreaded “step”mom title comes up (I always disclose that info to teachers so they don’t feel duped by finding out later). Then the teachers shut down and I spend all year trying to convince them I have his best interest at heart. By the end of the year they understand what’s going on; mom does nothing to help his education, but it’s too late.
This is year I wasn’t too optimistic about trying. Honestly, I was just going through the motions. Still, I went and spoke to his teachers and the same thing. He’s doing bad in school. BUT then something new happens. The teacher says, I met mom (BM), i see that she isn’t helping him at home. I know what you’re up against, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
I almost cried rows in the class! Finally he won’t have to struggle all year to get help!
So so if you’re at your breaking point as a stepmom. If you feel like giving up, don’t. Keep pushing because your validation may be right around the corner!!!
Can’t do more
Then BM. Not your kid. He can fail on his own. You will put time, money , sweat, tears in and get. You are not my mother. Have fun
That’s the thing though. He
That’s the thing though. He is mine as far as I’m concerned. I don’t treat him any differently than I do my biological children. I’m a part of his village, so I’m going to do everything in my power to see him succeed (as long as he’s trying too). What kind of person would I be to give up on a child because they have a crappy parent? Now, if he makes a decision that he doesn’t care and won’t try, that’s completely different. But as long as he wants help and wants to understand/do better, I’m going to be there to help him do that.
If his behaviors and efforts
If his behaviors and efforts are deserving of your dedication then be dedicated. If not... confront the behaviors with escalatingly unpleasant consequences he delivers appropriate behaviors.
I truly hope that your efforts are successful. Though 10 years of toxic BM parrenting is a lot of negative inertia to overcome. I hope that he is worthy of your efforts.
Good luck.