Letting your kids get away with being mouthy, bullying smartasses so that they end up getting the snot knocked out of them someday by an even bigger, even mouthier and even more smartassed bully who has had enough of their lip.

Letting your kids believe that no cost is too high and no material thing is too expensive, so long as they get everything they want, which only sets them up to face adulthood with a false sense of entitlement that will bring them crashing down when they finally do realize that no, the world really does NOT owe them a favor and neither does anyone in it.

Letting your child treat your spouse like crap rather than as the other respected adult and authority figure in the household, because this only teaches them how NOT to have a successful marriage, how NOT to raise respectful children and how NOT to get along with the authority figures they will have to appease later in life, such as teachers, bosses and law enforcement officers.

Letting your child run wild with no consequences for their actions, which will probably land them in one or all of the following situations... in jail, in debt, strung out on drugs, dead, divorced, abandoned by their children/family/friends, with children they can't or don't know how to take care of and with no security, no hope, no self-esteem, no self-confidence and no ability to survive independently and successfully.

Not teaching your children the proper way to act, comport themselves in a variety of situations, think for themselves, be responsible for their own minds, bodies and actions, anticipate consequences, make good choices and be a good person.

Abuse is not discipline, but failure to discipline is definitely a form of abuse.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Anne,
I couldn't agree with you more!

Crys

1. Yes
2. No
3. NO
4. Yes
5. No not abuse but pretty irresponsible & lacking values.
6. Yes
7. No
8. Yes

Is that what you were asking? It's just my opinion and I don't mind if anyone disagrees. But it doesn't mean I would do any of the above or not do them, but I just answered on the is this abuse question in my opinion.

Catch xx

IMO: (I'M NOT SHOUTING, JUST SEPARATING MY ANSWERS FROM THE QUESTIONS.)
1. Is it getting your ass kicked consistantly over absolutely nothing - yes. 100 % GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN BY SOMEONE DEFENDING THEMSELVES AGAINST YOU, IS ABUSIVE.

2. Is it getting a slap on the butt when you do something wrong? DO YOU MEAN WHEN MY MOM WOULD SLAP MY THIGH? IT STUNG, BUT IT WASN'T ABUSIVE.

3. Is it thowing out all the black clothes and crosses with snakes and knives? BECAUSE YOU THINK THIS TYPE OF CLOTHING DEMONSTRATES BAD BEHAVIOR? WITHOUT REASON OR NOT TALKING TO OWNER OF CLOTHES? WHILE IT MAY NOT BE ABUSIVE, IT'S MEAN.

4. Is it not taking your kid the to the denist, when they obviouly need to go? YES, IT'S ABUSIVE TO NOT TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD'S HEALTH.

5. Is it giving them birth control and allowing them to have sex in their rooms at 14 & 16? YES, IT'S ABUSIVE IN THE WAY THAT IT RELAYS A LACK OF VALUES AND SETS THE CHILD UP FOR CONSEQUENCES THEIR EMOTIONAL MATURITY LACKS. PREGNANCY HELL! WHAT ABOUT STD?

6. Is it allowing them to drop out of high school in the 9th grade?
YES. IT SHOWS LACK OF VALUES AND REINFORCES LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM.

7. Is it getting smacked in the mouth when you spit on someone? SMACKING SOMEONE IS HARD TO TAKE BACK. SOMETIMES IT'S A KNEE-JERK REACTION AND ONE I'VE DONE TWICE, WITH JUSTIFICATION. NONETHELESS, THE RECEIVER WILL ALWAYS PERCEIVE IT AS ABUSE.

8. Is it getting a bag of sugar thrown at you because you bought the wrong kind? HELL YES! WHAT, IS SUGAR THE ITEM ON WHICH THE FATE OF OUR WORLD HINGES UPON? WHO THE HELL WOULD THROW A BAG OF SUGAR AT SOMEONE FOR IT BEING THE WRONG KIND? TELL THE SOB WHO THREW IT TO DO THE SHOPPING NEXT TIME....AND HIDE WHATEVER YOU HAVE SO THE SUGAR-NAZI GETS A LIFE.

but that would just start WW III.