How many of you ladies are pregnant?
Forums:
Through blogs with my 'favorite Brat', it seems like there are quite a few of you that are expecting?
I love my BF very much and we 'toy' with the idea of having a baby together, but as a few of you know, I feel at 42 I'm too old and my body is not as strong as it was when I had my Daughter at 25.
Do you mind saying if you are and what kids you have now. When are you due and do you know what you are having.
I'ld like to live vicarously through you. lol
Jo
'favorite brat' here!
I'm 29, had my first at 27. My daughter will be 2 in August and we're expecting daughter #2 in July. There's some confusion on the due date - according to LMP it's July 19, but I have a long cycle and I'm measuring July 29. We just found out today that it's another girl so I'm still all hopped up on all the excitement, which would explain why I'm blogging and not in BED right now!
Oh and Jo - 40 is the new 30 so feel free to pop out another baby!
Tee hee! Just being a brat. Pregnancy sure takes a lot out of you and I'm still in my 20's so I hear ya! Oh, and then there's the 2 decades of childrearing that come after that!
Hi JoI had my first baby
Hi Jo
I had my first baby boy at the age of 39 and am expecting again now. I will deliver just before my 41st birhtday. My girlfriend had a baby last week at the age of 44....healthy baby boy. I agree with Caitlin 40 is the new 30. I loved my pregnancy. You can really appreciate it at this age. Never thought I'd have kids...met my Dh when I was 36. It is just so wonderful and my life (minus and exwife) is so full now. I even find I focus less on her these days on more on all the great things in my life.
I say if you want it go for it.....you are the perfect age.
Babies at a late age
I say do it. I am 46 years old I just had a miscarriage and I am ready to try again. I have 4 biological children ranging from ages 28 to 14, and 2 step children in ther 20's and I will not stop trying until I am told I have to. Yes you get a little more fatigued than someone in there 20's but its up to you it,s your body. You will have people give you rude comments or I tell you they would never do it at there age but they are not you. Remember the waking nights, the babysitters, the interupted sex, it is all back again but I think its all worth it.
Ellen
I was 22 when we had our
I was 22 when we had our son. He is now 19 months old. And I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with our second child together, she is a little girl. Both children were very much planned. People ask me that frequently
And we plan on our last child in about 2 years from now.
Does it bother you
Does it bother you when people ask if your children were planned? Maybe it's different for me because we're not married and we really did want to do it "in order" and I feel like people are judging me, but it kinda gets under my skin when people ask such a personal question. I'm really not one to care what others think about me, so I don't know why it irks me but it does. I myself would just never ask someone such a question and I am baffled that people think it's appropriate conversation among strangers or acquaintances they barely know.
I'll never forget the roofer I hired to replace my roof when I was pregnant with my first. I guess he saw the partially completed state of my DIY renovation and felt the need to ask if we had planned this pregnancy and it made me very uncomfortable because it seemed like he was being judgemental. Maybe because yes, it was bad timing with everything going on, but this baby was certainly wanted, if "planned" for a couple of years down the road! (I guess we forgot what we learned in sex ed in 5th grade - you CAN conceive during your period!) I guess that prying question bugs me because of all the background - BM refusing to sign for the divorce for 3 years, us not being able to "legitimize" our family. All this is so personal, and I don't see how people think it's their business.
Why do you think people ask such a thing?
Hi Caitlin
Its hard for me to believe what comes out of peoples mouths sometimes. Not only is that rude, but yes it would bother me. Or how about the ones that ask if your kids have the same father! A girlfriend of mine considers her husband to be her child's ONLY father since they got together right after the child is born so she always answers yes. How about the people that say their "adopted kids". I noticed on the news they always do that instead of using their kids, and whenever they talk about Paul McCarthy they always say his children and his one "adopted" child. Can you imagine how that girl must feel!
Just one word for ya:
Just one word for ya: ew.
Ew. It's just gross that people can be so rude. How can people devalue the parent-child relationship by reducing it to "adopted child"? It's the same difference if you ask me! And who's business is it anyway if a woman's children have different biological fathers? They just want to gossip behind her back like she's some kind of slut who sleeps around or something. Ew. Ew. Ew. It's just not right.
I have always felt 'judged'
I have always felt 'judged' when it comes to our decision to get married and start our family. I was 'only' 20 when we got married. And 'only' 22 when we had our son. And now at 24 being pregnant 'again' and carrying my son on my hip, we get some very interesting looks from strangers. I also think that some of it is because my husband and I are an interracial couple. I am Caucasian and he calls himself Mexican. What people fail to see is the stability that we have created early in life. We have owned our own home for 3 years now. We both have great jobs at his family owned concrete company. We are very very blessed. And we are happy and in love. And I don’t think you can put an age on that.
I really don't have an answer for you. I probably have been guilty of the same thing from time to time. I think its easy to make assumptions at first glance. I really try to keep an open mind and heart with others because you just never really know...
Not that I want you to feel judged
Not that I want you to feel judged, but I'm glad I'm not the only one. Neither of us should feel like we need to explain ourselves and our life choices. Geez! I'm 29 and he's 52 and that's another thing that people love to get all judgemental on. Like I'm some immature gold digging teeny bopper - riiiiight. I'm the one who owns 2 houses and he's the one with loads of debt and no assets to his name, so I'm certainly not after his money! We are in love and yes he's old enough to be my father (gulp!) but the fact is - he's not my dad, he's my partner!
Skye22, be proud you have a loving husband and father to your children, no matter the race, age or whatever - and I promise to do the same. You're a lovely young mama! Be proud!
Isn't it funny that we can be confident and happy and still be bothered (however slightly - it's not like I'm losing sleep over it as I'm sure you're not either) by judgemental strangers?
We are a mixed couple, too.
My husband is a lowly peon from Assholeville and I am the Queen of Rightland.
The interesting thing about us is that my ex-husband was four years younger than me and my current husband was four years younger than his ex-wife and I really think that the age difference (only four years, but the men were the younger ones) played a big part in both divorces. I personally think that the only thing that matters is that you love each other enough to overcome whatever differences there may be, and to accept that EVERY couple has differences, whether they are apparent to the naked eye or not.
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
the only time
I was offended was when I was pregnant with my first and bm#2 asked if we planned it, and if not suggested terminating!!! I was livid, especially knowing that while my dh did not plan to give this woman a child I knew she planned to grab on and hold on to him for life because she knew he was a great dad. I think it is the worse tag to give a child "unplanned" and would never tell ss my beliefs but I truly believe all children born are planned in someway or they would not be here. Any child is a blessing and a miracle, and those who ask these dumb questions just show how dumb they are. I spent my twenties believing having a child was not in the cards for me (medical), I spent my child hood planning to have children one day, the day I was surprised to find that "+" sign was one of the best days and surprises of my life, does that make my unplanned child different than one that is...NO FREAK"N WAY
Oh, the GALL!
She suggested TERMINATING?! Who does she think she is?
obviously
one of those bm's who think once they have had a child with a man he doesn't have a right to have anymore! Imagine her surprise when my second came along the following year. I was very proud of dh that day,(with my first preg) she "suggested" at a time when I was not present, and he answered her with this basically "as far as I am concerned none of my children have been planned to date, but as far as "a loon" goes I PLAN to spend the rest of my life with her raising our children!!" He is such a great guy I am a lucky woman!!!
Human Nature????.
Some people can be idoits about it.
Planned or unplanned. Age, race. It doesn't matter. But I think it is part of human nature to judge. But, it's how we handle it.
Loony's BM asking about termination. I don't know how you restrained your self from not halling off and putting your fist down her throat.
Skye, you should be very proud of your-self. I sure as hell didn't have any shit together when I was your age. Good for you.
Caitlin, was I surprised to read the age difference between you two.
yeah, I was, but guess what, you are still my favorite brat.
When I told my Daughter's Grandmother ( Her bio-dad's Mom - we have remained close ) that BF is half Japanesse, her response was less than desirable. You would think she would have been more judgemental at the fact he was married for 15 years and has 4 kids.
Whatever.
The fact is alot of people judge and the problem comes in when they voice their vertict.
i would need a ladder Jo
I would have to agree on thehuman nature and the dumb thoughts people have just don't get it I guess. Too many people set in their ways. Re : the x, I believe someone refer's to theirs as the darkness, mine has always been the AMAZON, she is taller than my dh, (i am shorT) bigger than the average man, and not a man hater but watch out if she hates you. She once got in a bar fight and broke her hand punching someone out!!! No I am a peace loving girl, be happy especially with the one you wake up with every morning.
Kids I had when I was...hmmm...28ish I think god that's tricky but they were back to back so alot blends in. I would love to have another, but we tied that Knot after my second...his knot of course!
both knots actually, his knot and our legal union too! Not to mention we are up to being a family of 6 when all together, plus a big old dog, and too many kittens...No more seatbelts...good time to stop. But I am jealous of the girls, I miss the baby daze
LOL, are they related
I am the one that refers to BM as Darkness. BF & I came up with that a year ago, and damb does it fit. Darkness looms whenever she calls. lol. And she is also rather large. lol. exactly, Taller than the average man and twice the size. Which is funny because BF is a little guy. Tough, but little. I'll never forget the first time I met her. At the employee x-mas party. Everyone at work knew he was having alot of problems with his wife. No-one at work knew he & I had started a relationship. I felt so bad at the way they other employees ripped apart his wife behind his back. Don't get me wrong it's not her size. But OMG, someone needs to teach her how to put on make-up. And for a big lady, that skirt was way to short and those boobs did not fit in that shirt.
Sorry I just went off on a tangent.
Pregnant now
I am 36 and this is my second marriage and first pregnancy. We got married a year a go in August. I got pregnant within three months and then miscarried exactly at 12 weeks. It was the most devastating thing I ever went through. Worst of all my ex-ob dr. suggested to go through the miscarriage naturally. While I was going through the process (48 hours and last 24 was labor....which was all normal they said) SS (5 years old) was due back on Sunday evening. As BM was dropping him off, me in the bedroom in pain and crying, DH was telling BM what was going on. Did she offer to take child back home...no...and niether did Husband.
After a year of trying again I finally was artificially inseminated. Thank god it took the first time. I am now 14 weeks along. I would go through everything again. This baby inside me is giving me a reason to BE INCLUDED in this family I married into. As of right now I am the outsider between DH, BM, and SS. It is hard when SS comes back to us for the week and he could give a shit if I am in the house. husband lives and breathes for this child. And let me tell you there has been a rude awakening in husband when I told him last week I am not happy, marrying you was the worst decision I ever made, and I would be walking right now if it wasn't for being pregnant. (I thing a lot was hormones but he new I meant business)
I never wanted a child with my first marriage. I guess I was young and selfish. But now I want one more than anything. The bond I see between husband and child is something I want so bad. Yes the weight gain sucks, the sickness sucks, and the fact that at 36 my hair has done nothing but get grayer. If you want a child then have one. If it is something you have to ponder too much then maybe it isn't something you really want. You really shouldn't have to ask someone elses opinions. Good luck and search deep within yourself.
Yikes.
I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through the first time around. You poor thing, you must be so scared. Does the Doctor have any fears that you may lose this baby or is everything going well with this one. I'm glad the insemination took on the first try. That must have been a great feeling. Any chance of multiple babies? I'm not knowledgable in this area.
Best best wishes. Jo
I think I might be
and an completely terrified that I am. I'm hoping all the "symptoms" are just from stress. I do want children just not right now, especially when I'm still trying to decide if I can handle the SS and the ex from hell.
Why won't this work day end so I can get to a drug store and find out for sure!
38+
My step-sister had her first at 38 and her second at 40. My SIL had her second at 39. I'd love one more, but I'm 36 and already in perimenopause, so I know I could get pregnant... but do I really want to? Nope, nada, noway, no how, uh-uh, hell no. Just the thought of POTTY-TRAINING again gives me a headache. But that doesn't mean I don't get mushy when I walk through the baby aisle at Target and I really miss all the hours spent in the rocking chair nursing my babies. They just don't stay little long enough, do they?
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
Hey skye22, Caitlin & Anne and other ladies!!!
I've been lurkjng on the board in the evenings...not posting much b/c there is soooo much activity on the board that it is hard to keep up...i usually look for the ladies i know and try to catch up with what is going on with you guys! I had to weigh in on this topic only because this is our first month Trying To Concieve (TTC)...so by the grace of God...i'll join your club soon and very soon...and i am VERY MUCH looking forward to some MORNING SICKNESS!!! :sick: I'll keep you posted!
We've had no BM drama in so long i can't even remember the last time we did...many months!!! I think my perspective has changed a lot so that does help!!!
Make a GREAT Day!
Good Luck Nise.Don't stress
Good Luck Nise.
Don't stress just try to enjoy the ride (literally)!!!!!
Take care
Good luck, Nise!
And remember... drink lots of OJ for the folic acid, be taking your prenatal vitamins now (NOT on an empty stomach, though, unless you like puking) and standing on your head immediately afterwards is supposed to help. (Okay, that last one may not be legit advice, but it gives an interesting visual, doesn't it?!)
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
Nise
I am so happy to hear from you. I have thought about you from time to time, wondering how things are coming along. I am glad to hear life is treating you well. I really hope that you join us soon
I'l say a little pray for you and your hubby. How are you liking your new job? Well take care and keep us posted.
We've missed you, Nise!
Glad you popped in to say hello! I hope you'll be joining the expectant mommies club with us soon! How is your new job going?
I am 38 & 171/2 weeks pregnant.
I will turn 39 shortly after the baby arrives. My DH is 6 years younger than me.... Kind of scary, my mom was my age when I graduated from highschool & I am just having my first baby. ( Okay only biological child as well) Only three more weeks till we get to find out whay we are having. There is no way I could last till the end & not know. It drives me crazy now. :)Sometimes I can't believe I was lucky enough to get pregnant again ( lost first baby last April)then I have moments where I am so scared about things that I wonder if it was selfish of me to want a baby so bad. ( like last night when DH's ex was coming up with new ways to spend our money, beyond CS & daycare)Gotta like this she told DH that the CS was for paying her mortgage. Lets just say I cried myself to sleep worrying over what kind of advantages my child will have when this woman dreams up new ways to spend my hard hearned money.
HI Sweetthing
I am 18 weeks pregnant now and am 40 years old and we miscarried last summer. So you know what, don't think about the ex during this time. You need to stay stress free. You have a miracle inside you and that is what you need to focus on. When I was pregnant with my first son (he is 16 months now)we were going through a nasty court hearing. UGLY!!! Luckily everything was okay. But we don't need the stress...just to be pregnant now is such a blessing.
You can't control how they spend the money or even that fact that they get it (drives me nuts) but you have to believe that you and your hubby will provide everything this baby needs....and when they are young most of it just plain old fashion LOVE.
So be kind to yourself and your baby and try going to sleep thinking about all that you can give this baby. Your husband can worry for you both during this time.
Good Luck. Let us kknow what it is ...I find out next Friday...I, too, can't wait.
Thanks Tyra
I have waited 20 years for this & want this baby more than I have ever wanted anything! Other than being tired I feel really good & this has been so uneventful that I am grateful.DH keeps telling me to relax, but it's just may nature. I really have tried to lower my stress at work and be less uptight, but then DH & BM fight via email & copy me on it.
I really don't care what she does with CS, especially since she makes almost as much as both of us before DH's 3rd. She's just so Fing cheap, but now is thinking about sending oldest SS to a gifted child program this summer, that costs extra during the time he is a Ycare ( which we will be paying for)
I think that is unecessary to pay for him to be two places at once & this kid is bombarded with home works all school year...can't he just get to be a kid? This week he was complaining to me about how much homework he has to do each night. He is in 3rd grade & it;s ridiculous. I told him I agreed that it seems like alot especially since he had already spent 8 hrs in school, but that what I think doesn't matter in the big scheme. He is very smart ( in advanced math) but not quite what I would call gifted. Bottom line money aside, I think he should get to just be a kid & have fun this summer...no homework! He plays baseball most the summer, his mom is planning a weeks vacation & they are getting a new brother or sister, why make him have to go to summer school too. ( In my day that was a punishment.
)
You will have to let us know what the baby is. ARe you hoping for a boy or a girl?
You sound like me. I waited
You sound like me. I waited so long to have my first....never thought I'd have any and defintely didn't want them with my ex...workaloholic. We are blessed to have them at this time in our lives. Unfortunately the men that we love come with EX's. I know I have been where you are...my first pregnancy was so stressful. I absolutely loved being pregnant but there was so much crap going on I would cry so much in the beginning. After I miscarried I decided that if I was able to get pregnant again then I would not let the Ex get to me. Trust me I was so focused on her it made me ill. So, she still pisses me off but I stay away from her and let hubby deal with her.
Do you want to be cc'd or can you just handle the short version from your hubby. Sometimes those emails are so stressful.
Funny, I was listening to a program the other day and there is a principal in our area that does not allow homework for the kids. Same feeling you have ...they are in school for 8 hours and the homework is taking away from family time. Other schools are looking at adpoting the sames priniciples. Kids are only kids once....sure nuture his gift...my husband was in an enriched program , skipped a grade..math wiz (not too smart though married his EX) but totally enjoyed being a kid without summer school and all the pressures of being "Gifted". He has a great job and does well. Summer school was for the ones who failed.....the rest of us felt sorry for those who had to go.
I have a son and a SD.......first years with her were tough.....to much girly drama...so I thought I only want boys...but she has developed into an amazing sweet thing who adores her baby brother...that it just doesn't matter now. With my first I never did any of those old wives tales but this time around I have and it always says a girl. I think it is a girl...my hips are wider this time around and defintley way more tired. So we will see.
Do you have any preference? In the end we all want a healthy happy good sleeping baby....and remember the stress that you add onto yourself is added onto baby. You want the baby to be a wonderful sleeper it makes it is much more enjoyable.