What is an appropriate age for a child to stay home without parents?
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DH and I recently learned that BM is leaving SS (who is five) home under the supervision of her other child who is ten. She also allows the ten year old to take SS to the local park that is about five blocks from BMs house. Do you think ten years old is old enough to supervise younger child? I cannot remember how old I was when I was allowed to stay home alone, but I don't think I was quite that young.
Opinions/Suggestions?
I think it depends on the
I think it depends on the kids. if the kids have access to a phone, know their address, and are not home alone for extended periods of time or at night, then I think it's fine. can the older one be trusted to look after the younger? is the younger capable of listening and behaving? regarding the park, does the older one have a watch and come home to check in every hour or so?
there are lots of variables here... but it's not illegal for BM to leave skids home alone at their ages. it might actually be good for the kids (With proper limits and precautions) to build some responsibility.
Some kids can handle it, some
Some kids can handle it, some can't. I know there are 16yo's who should not be left home alone.
Agreed. BS was able to be
Agreed. BS was able to be left alone for brief periods starting at 11. Dh and I don't leave SS14 alone even at his age because he's sneaky and we don't trust him.
i agree it depends on the
i agree it depends on the kid.
i was babysitting/petsitting/housesitting for neightbors at 12. id never leave SD13 in charge of anyone's kid/pet/gardens.
Hell NO!!! I wouldn't trust
Hell NO!!! I wouldn't trust any of my kids home alone EVER. I don't care how mature the 10 year old is, I wouldn't even let him walk up to the park by himself let alone a 5 year old. There are so many things that can happen, what if one of them gets hurt, what if someone kidnaps the both of them or one of them, what if some kids pick on them, what if a car hits them on the way there ? What if he chokes on something ? This is insane to me, then they are the same parents who sit on TV crying wondering how their kids got kidnapped.
EVER? While I agree some
EVER? While I agree some parents are lax, others are way too overprotective and end up with kids who cannot fend for themselves in the real world.
"What if some kids pick on them"? Really? Teach them to stand up for themselves instead of needing Mommy to tell the mean, mean kids to stop. Yeah - THAT won't make them targets.
What if your kid is in his/her room alone and chokes on something? You may not know.
All kids are different. Some are quite responsible to watch a younger sibling by 10, some can't flush a toilet alone at 16.
My kids were okay home on their own at 10 & 12, IMO.They did homework, walked the dogs, prepped stuff for dinner with no problem. Sometimes went down to the local park. Nothing happened. No one choked, the house didn't burn down, no one broke in and kidnapped them (not even on the way to the park) , no one was hit by a car.
Every situation, and every child, is different. Each parent needs to assess their kid(s) for themselves.
My 11 year old niece is
My 11 year old niece is pretty mature but I wouldn't want her going to the park by herself, let alone with a younger child to be responsible for.
Watching a younger child in the home for a few hours, as long as they know what to do in an emergency, would be ok (depending on maturity level).
Is the 10 year old a boy or a girl? Girls tend to be a little more mature and responsible than boys.
The ten year old is a boy. I
The ten year old is a boy.
I have very mixed feelings about it. We've known about the park thing for a while and even though it makes me a little nervous just because we don't know her other child well enough to gauge whether or not he is responsible enough, we didn't make a stink about it because like some of you said, they need to learn to be responsible, etc. Also, SS told me that one day an older boy was picking on him and pushed him and his older brother stood up for him, which made me feel really good about it, even though DH was still on the fence about the whole situation.
On the other hand the ten year old recently threatened suicide in front of SS. He has since seen a doctor and they think it was caused by the ADHD medication he was on. It has been a couple weeks and there's hasn't been another attempt/threat, but finding out that he is watching SS alone after threatening to harm himself makes DH and I very uneasy. I've talked to people before about the suicide attempt and from what I understand unless he attempts or threatens to harm SS, there's really nothing we can do about that whole thing. And BM is not one you can sit down with and talk to about these issues calmly. If DH brings up anything that in anyway threatens or analyzes BMs ability to parent, it just causes a huge explosion show-down. Nothing like being stuck between a rock and a hard place!
very much depends on the
very much depends on the kid.
i was 11/12 and babysitting 5 kids at a time, ages ranging from 9-10'ish to still in diapers.
i would NOT trust yss or mss home alone. mss can barely operate the microwave or pour a drink.
i had my doubts too about oss- he's 15, and this past summer the first day he was home, i get home from work to find a giant oil slick on the back patio. "what in the HELL is this?" "oh that's cooking spray, i was trying to get a tan." *facepalm* thats when i began hiding the key to the back door so he couldnt even open it. since then, at stb16, he's gotten much, MUCH better
Oh, the other thing is...BM
Oh, the other thing is...BM does not have a land line and neither child has a cell phone, so besides going to a neighbors, they have no way of calling for help.
I would have a problem with
I would have a problem with that.
Exactly! The problem is,
Exactly! The problem is, there is no reasoning with her. Her decisions are the right decisions, regardless of the harm it might do to her children. You have to be able to throw a law at her to get her to listen and even then sometimes she doesnt believe it. When BM and DH were fighting over what school SS would go to, she told him he didn't get a say. DH pulled up a statute defining legal custody and she claimed he fabricated the entire website!!! It wasn't until mediation that she finally understood that DH has a say so in those things and should be included.
I feel lost most of the time with these issues. It feels like we are completely helpless and that there's nothing we can do about it until the day that something actually happens.
ok now THAT's a big deal.
ok now THAT's a big deal.
This I would have a HUGE
This I would have a HUGE problem with.
I was home alone every day
I was home alone every day after my grandma died, I think I was around 8, maybe 7. I was a pretty responsible kid. SD is 8, and I would NEVER consider leaving her alone. She constantly needs someone there to tell her what to do, and usually also how to do it. She has chores, and she does them, but holy crap does she need supervision to do them. She has no concept of time so telling her something like be home in an hour or you can play in your room for 30 minutes, even if she can see a clock, is pointless. Her attention span just doesn't even exist. If she walked the 3 blocks home from school by herself I'm pretty sure she would see a grasshopper or something and chase the thing across 2 states before she realized she wasn't on her way home. Not even kidding. She has no problem solving skills either - shower water is too cold, can't figure out to turn the cold down just a little until it's the right temperature, even though we tell her this every single day. She just stands in the back of the shower and whines. Seriously.
^^ Absolutely. In my state,
I, for one, would like to
I, for one, would like to read that particular statute. Could you please provide a link? TIA.
Thank you!
Thank you!
So it appears that my state
So it appears that my state does not have a specific law regarding the age kids can stay home alone and/or babysit. However one of the counties have guidelines in place (of course neither DH and I, nor BM live in this county). They are:
1. Reports of children 7 and under left alone for any period of time
2. Reports of children ages 8 and 9 who are alone for more than 2 hours
3. Reports of children 10 through 13 alone for more than 12 hours
4. Reports indicating that children 14 to 17 are unsupervised while parents are absent for more than 24 hours will be screened, considering adequate adult back-up supervision
as for watching another child:
It is okay for children 11 to 14 to watch other kids if parents return the same day and for kids 15 and older to babysit other kids for up to 24 hours.
And of course there are several mitigating factors if a report is filed regarding one of the above items.
A 12yo should be old enough
A 12yo should be old enough to handle being home alone for a couple hours. However, only in very rare instances is a 12yo old enough to be the responsible party for younger children and IMHO this should never happen with a 10yo. 14 passes my smell test for being old enough to watch younger kids for limited periods in the absence of a parent.
Just my opinion of course.