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But Where is MY balls?

ClutterMusings's picture

I've come to a little revelation.

For the last few years, I have wondered if my H had any balls at all. He bows down to his ex at ALL cost. The major cost has been our marriage. I spent so much time wishing and hoping he would just grow a set, put BM in her place, and take care of OUR family for once.

Then it dawned on me...

Where is MY balls?

I've sat back and allowed him to put me and my BD last. I've been pulled into the drama with BM and SD. It has just swarmed and swarmed and blown up and the truth is I PUT UP WITH IT!

Makes me ill :sick:

I guess I just had high hopes. I tried to "blend" in and not rock the boat. I tried to be compassionate, sacrificial, and understanding. All the while all H cared about was asking his ex "how high" he should jump for SD.

I've been working on setting boundaries on what I will and won't tolerate anymore. Our marriage is literally on the line. I know how serious it is, and so does H. We made it to a breaking point last year and have been working toward trying to salvage what we have left.

His balls have gotten bigger as far as being the leader of the family and handling BM better, but I am not completely sold on it yet.

misSTEP's picture

That's true. I came to a similar realization. DH will push boundaries. I think that is an issue stemming back to his childhood. If I let him walk all over me, he will. He doesn't MEAN to upset me or anything but if I don't tell him what I want and don't want, I can't expect him to automatically know or think about anything other than what is easiest for him.

Maybe get some BenWa balls. Then if you feel like you have lost your balls, you can look at them and say, "OH, that's right. I DO have balls!" Then use 'em.

SugarSpice's picture

don't feel bad. many of us feel this way. we hope things will get better and wait and wait. before you know it you are married for twenty years and miserable. at some point you will find your balls and use them. you will feel so empowered.