why?
Hello,
Im sure i will be really hated for this but here goes,
i need to vent to someone as im being eaten alive
with partner over 7 years he has a 7 yr old
the past three years i hve become to really dislike the child,
i know that's an awful thing to say, but it came over me and feeling will not go away, he is like an annoying little brother,
of course i dont show my feelings toward my partner or the child, but its killing me and i dont know what to do, i adore my partner,feel in such pain about the whole situation...
i know nobody here has a magic want to sort it all out but had to get it off my chest!
child has also put me totally off having children! he is so spoilt and demanding,(as most kids are today) im 31 and cannot ever see me having a baby.. what a mess
It's understandable you can
It's understandable you can feel this way. It struck as odd that you are together over 7years and this kid is 7 also?
I'd stop and consider that it's really not the child's fault though. I know, very well, how difficult it is to be calm when a child is constantly in your face though. How often to you see him? I'd be suggesting to his dad that he spends more time with his son so you are not having to constantly deal with him. I would make an effort to have more of a connection with a child who is part of my husband too.
If it was infidelity on his part then he really has to do the work to restore trust, it's honestly not the fault of the child. I hear you, and you do feel bad right now, though I would try to look within and see how best to resolve the situation so that you can live with your own self. After all, you are important to you! Is there something else going on co incidentally? I sometimes have too look at ME and check in to see if I am transferring my own feelings...am I having a bad day, or what else upset me that I might get upset with the first person, or thing, that gets in my way? We are all human, right? We are all in this monter maze of step parenting too. It can take a toll, it could be that you are a little down...I wish you well.
Many thanks for the
Many thanks for the replies!
partner didnt mess around,
he had split with his ex and then found out she was preg,their relationship was never going anywhere.
taken in all your comments and appreicate them,
tks a mill
Rebecca x
Hi Becca, welcome to
Hi Becca, welcome to Steptalk. A lot of step parents don't like their SKIDS - you are certainly not alone. I have 2 SDs 16 and 14 and have been in their lives since they were 7 and 5. I don't like the younger one at all, she was very hostile to me from the word go, and my DH knows this. We manage this as best we can, I have had very little to do with her parenting, as I disengaged some years ago. Liking is not essential as long as there is respect and you do your best to create a harmonious atmosphere while your SKID is around. I have worked on being civil to my SD and she is civil to me. We have them every other weekend, and on those weekends I normally do my own thing with my friends, or on my own.
If you don't want a child, that's fine, but the way you are with your own baby would almost certainly be a totally different thing than with the SKID.
^^^^^^^This is wonderful
^^^^^^^This is wonderful advice. Thank you so much. I have always just kept my mouth shut and endured my skids until I cannot take it anymore. I thought that my dh just didn't care about me or have any clue how hard it is to deal with his children. Reading your reply, I had one of those aha! moments. No wonder he responds the way he does.I put him on the defensive. I think (at least I hope) I will get a much better reaction from him if I share my frustration in the the way you suggested.