Why doesn't he understand?
Ok, so I posted earlier to see what everyone thought about my "DH"'s ex dropping of the boys (that belong to my DH) AND asking if we could take her daughter (that has no relation to me or my DH). Well, we took her ONCE and I told my DH that it was ONLY a ONE TIME THING! I just don't feel comfortable having my DH stepping up to the plate since the girls dad left (about a month ago). He just doesn't get it!!! He thinks I'm in the wrong and that I'm such a horrible person because it's his boys sister!!! Well, why the hell didn't we get asked to take their sister 6 years ago when she was born? Oh, because she had a dad in the picture! So now, because her dad left, MY DH has to step up and be in the picture all of a sudden?!?!?! I'm so freaking mad right now. My "DH" works up north, so I only see him every 3 weeks for 4 days! This is on my mind 24/7 and all I want is for him to agree with me that that was a 1 time thing. He won't! He just gets mad at me and hangs up the phone! And I'm the immature one! His ex is a shady character and I seen on her facebook how she is bragging to everyone about how her ex (MY "DH") is "helping" with ALL 3 KIDS (when only 2 are his). WTF!!!! Me and my "DH" have been engaged for 2 1/2 years now, and his ex was married for about 1 1/2 years. We never set a date, because of problems that revolve around his psycho ex!!! I feel that he's never wanted to marry me and is still hung up on his ex (even though they've been broken up for 8 years and had an on again off again relationship when they were actually dating and breeding). The real kicker?!?! I want to have MY OWN KIDS and my "DH" keeps putting it off with excuses... they cost too much, we can't afford it, blah blah BLAH! Oh, but we CAN afford to take on another mouth to feed with his ex!!!!!!!! I AM SO DONE!!! This was seriously the LAST straw!!! If he can't understand why I'm so mad about this then he doesn't deserve my time or attention!
That's how I feel!!! This
That's how I feel!!! This girl has nothing to do with my family!!! And the fact that he won't have a child with me, but is running to step up to be a "daddy" to his ex's kid REALLY bother's me!!! I'm so done, it's not even funny.
When I first met my DH he had
When I first met my DH he had custody of his daughter who was 10 at the time. But he always had with him BM's other daughter from her boyfriend who she was living with at the time. This kid was young about 3 I think. It drove me nuts that we always had a little 3 yr old with us. Who needs extra kids especially when the kid is not even his!!! She used to sometimes sleep over and I was always stuck dealing with her. She was a baby still!! He felt bad for the kid because BM is such a loser.
This went on for about 2 years. He would pick up BM's daughter then call to ask if it was ok. Why bother calling?? She is already in the car. My parents came to visit and I requested that we not get this kid. He showed up with her!!
What finally put an end to us getting her all the time was that BM started going around accusing people of molesting her kids (she also had another little girl that was about 1 at the time) so DH was like we don't need to be investigated because she is making shit up. So we stopped picking her up thank god!!
They found out she was lying, no kids were being molested and she was just looking for attention. And now DH is so busy with work and we moved away from BM so we don't get this kid anymore!!
It was such a nightmare. The little girl was cute but us getting her kept us tied to BM and I didn't want to see her. He had custody of SD so no reason to see or hear from BM at all!!
i think guys think
i think guys think differently about this stuff.
bm has an 18month old from a different guy. she has tried to push this child off onto us and make it a condition that if we want to see the girls his bios more than CO specifies then we will have to watch the baby as well.
he was ok with the idea. i was not! i'm ok with taking a sibling/friend along to an event. i am not ok with watching an infant/toddler child to pacify bm. she is also manipulative.
i am with you. if you are not married and you feel this way and he is putting it off, i'd walk! no way would i put up with this crap. besides you only see him 4 days every 3 weeks?
that's just not something i could do.
I am so sorry "Annoyed" Men
I am so sorry "Annoyed" Men say that we are jealous and insecure all for no reason, it's all in our heads, but what they dont understand that when our thoughts, feelings, wants and needs are being belittled and/or ignored we search our minds and hearts as to how and why this can happen and when there is another woman involved and their requests, wants or needs are getting the consideration that we deserve from the man in our lives, what else are we to think, wonder??? Is there still feelings there?? I am dealing with the same thoughts about my partner at this point in time also. It is heart aching i am sorry you are feeling the same way. I am just trying toss up between they wonderful man he is about everything else in our life and how inconsiderate he is when it comes to his ex and their children. Best of luck darl loads of hugs <3
If he wants to help bm with
If he wants to help bm with her daughter then HE needs to be the one doing it. It's not ok to expect you to deal with it while he is out of town/working. He should be greatdul that you took on any of the kids whole he wasn't even home. Visitation is for him and the kids to spend time together, not to bm a break.
I can see MAYBE helping out on occasion if its planned ahead of time, AND if Dh will be there to handle all of the work. Stand your ground, do not let this become the status quo.
Ask him how he'd like it if
Ask him how he'd like it if you always wanted to watch some kid your ex husband had with another woman? His attitude might change if you show him the other side.
I already did that. He would
I already did that. He would listen and just got mad and hung up! He's such an ass sometimes!
i agree with stepmomma plus
i agree with stepmomma plus he may well think that he has you over a barrell cos you wont leave you just have to put up with whatever he says, but little does he know you are making plans and preparing for the worst of it, well done to you and i hope if it comes to time apart he will very quickly see he is being unreasonable. If i had somewhere to go i would jsut take time out sometimes i think we all need that us to get some peace and the guys to really see what it would be like without us.
I know, it's easier for them
I know, it's easier for them to get all pissed off than to admit they aren't right. I'm so sorry, Annoyed. What an ass! Let's go have drinks after work!
Yup! He always takes the
Yup! He always takes the "easy" way out!!! Not this time! I'm not going to let him!!! I would LOVE to go for drinks!!! lol!
thank god my bf had enough
thank god my bf had enough friggen sense to stop doing this when i freaked out.
bf used to go to events w/ SS, SS's sister and BM. even though my bf was only in a relationship w/ BM for TWO WEEKS.
before he got the court order, the BM would also call him up, demanding he take BOTH kids on weekends they hadn't verbally agreed to be his, or else she'd "never let him see his son again!"
as soon as i found out, I FLIPPED. as soon as he stopped going to events w/her and taking her other kid whenever the frig she felt like whoring it up, BM FLIPPED.
she has been psychotic ever since; however, it doesn't matter anymore. COURT ORDER BIATCH!
What makes these women think
What makes these women think this way?!?!?!? I would NEVER expect my ex to care for a child that wasn't his! I just have to shake my head!!! Absolutely no common sense what so ever!!! It's not going to happen again! If he wants to play daddy with this girl, he can go back to his ex and raise all the kids and be one big happy family!