Why doesn't she listen?? 8yo SD issues
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Upon collecting from her aunts place, SD 8 asks what's for dinner to which she was told!! Screws up the nose and throws daggers. Two minutes later she's asks my SO what's for dinner and I replied with "you've been told already." Her reply was "I'm not asking you,I'm asking Daddy." Turns into WW3 in the car on the way home. I just cannot understand why she's being so defiant and making our lives (including hers) so difficult. I just guess I'm sick of trying to play nice. Suggestions???
What did your SO say? Was WW3
What did your SO say? Was WW3 between you and SD or you and SO?
If between you and SD, and your SO supports you: don't answer when the questions are directed at SO. Even if you just told SD the answer to the same question, let your SO be the one to say "Whyme told you already." Its less likely to escalate. Believe me, I know it's hard to sit back, but it will significantly drop your stress level after you get good at letting dad answer the irritating questions. The first few times it will be almost painful to sit by and say nothing (unless so directly asks you something), but that pain is temporary.
Not sure why WW3. She asked,
Not sure why WW3.
She asked, you responded. She the asked Dad. Why did you respond when she was asking her father? Dad should have been the one to answer and the answer should have been "SM just told you what we are having for dinner". End of story.
Had the girl went on to moan and groan and fight with Dad, that's for him to deal with. A quick, "knock it off kiddo or you can just do without dinner period if you prefer"
Or Dad could have started his initial response with "You aren't hard of hearing. You heard SM, you're being disrespectful by snubbing your little nose and now asking me", followed up with the "knock it off kiddo" bit.
If the kid isn't going to respect you, it's up to Dad to assure she does and handle it when she doesn't.
I'm sure the kid is thrilled she instigated WW3. Next time hopefully Dad shuts her down quickly.
Thanks guys. It's was WW3
Thanks guys. It's was WW3 between her and dad. It's just very hard to sit back and let her dictate what's what. I guess I'll bite my tongue next time and let him sort it out
Believe me - I know. SD11
Believe me - I know. SD11 will argue for the sake of arguing. I've learned that if I get involved, it's 10x worse. I've neve been a proponent of disengagement, but I have had to partially back off when it comes to SD11. She is outright defiant at times because she has adult status at BM's home, and she doesn't like giving it up at our house.
I once drank an entire bottle of wine while watching a battle of wills between DH and SD11. It lasted 4 hours. All because SD11 decided to tell her Dad "No, I won't do chores. Mom says I'm old enough that I should get to decide what to help with" instead of putting her damn shoes in the closet instead of the living room floor. It was ridiculous. But continuing to sip was the only way for me to NOT speak up.
After that debacle, DH has chosen an alternate means of dealing with SD11. He picks up whatever she is having a fit over and tosses it in the dumpster outside. I don't always agree with him, but it removed some of the contention between them over petty things like that.
hahahaha every one is
hahahaha every one is correct....
When |SD asks something and you reply, let it go after that, she can ask Dad, he's on his own then, you keep quiet.
We both know SD was aiming for DH telling you, SD does not eat this make something else, or I will simply get her a happy meal.
You and DH have to stand together with this, SD will eat what's for dinner or make her own sandwich, there will not be any special meals, she eats what every one else eats,
You can be like me..... when Aergia asked what's for dinner, I would answer, food or surprise lol..... that only post pone the arguments with her father.....and SO knew perfectly well... if he dared making something else or getting take aways for her.... there would've been some serious war in the house...
I alos made little mental notes of what food Aergia liked and what not.... guess which ones I'm for ever preparing }:)
if you guessed the foods she like, you are wrong
Done. The answer is now
Done. The answer is now food!!
Even used the breakfast will look good in the morning line last night to SD11......thanks Echo lol